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“Crap if I know. Make my life miserable. Refuse to let me go with Ty to College Station when he visi
ts him.”
“So Ethan’s still leaving next week?”
“He says he doesn’t know, but trust me, he’ll go even if I have to take him there myself.”
“He’s probably confused right now. I know he hasn’t been looking forward to leaving you. Josh told me that much. And now with you being pregnant, I bet he’s really screwed up.”
“He is,” Ava agreed.
“So y’all are definitely going to keep the baby, right?”
“Definitely. I’m not giving my baby away. Fuck that. We’re getting married someday, you know? Can you just imagine how we’d feel our entire lives, knowing that our first baby was out there somewhere?”
“Oh, God, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. Just don’t be stupid. Don’t fuck up like we have.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“Seriously, Hannah. I know you’ve been dating Josh for almost a year and y’all must already have this shit figured out since y’all aren’t technically sleeping together. Just keep doing what you’re doing and don’t have intercourse yet. Too many things can go wrong. Condoms bust; the pill fails. Just keep making each other happy with the other stuff, you know? I’m sure you’ve figured out what Josh likes. Real sex can wait.” Ava exhaled. “Okay, sermon’s over.”
Hannah shifted in her place on the bed and smiled absently as Ava’s words sank in. What other stuff? They were barely doing anything. Her friend was assuming a lot, but then who wouldn’t? She’d never told Ava that Josh barely touched her. Even now, almost a year after they began dating. He’d had this seventeen hang up in his head, and Hannah hadn’t pushed it. The few times she’d tried, she figured out right away that there was no way in hell that Josh was going to lose control. And now that he’d decided to go into law enforcement, it had only solidified the decision he’d made for them to wait. Although his motivation was honest and his integrity couldn’t be questioned, it was going to drive Hannah crazy. She was still almost as untouched as she’d been the first time he’d kissed her. And now Ava was pregnant and Josh had already warned her that they needed to be careful.
Shit. She was going to die a virgin.
Ava sobbed again and it brought Hannah’s thoughts back into focus. She needed to get her head out of her ass and be thankful Josh was the way he was. This could so easily have been her. Teenaged and pregnant.
Crap.
Hannah turned her attention to Ava and tried to give her whatever comfort she could.
****
Ethan left for Texas A&M five days later. Ava knew that Josh wanted to help him make the move but he couldn’t get away from the farm and his job. Ethan’s parents went with him to get him settled in, and Ty was able to go as well. Ava’s parents wouldn’t let her go and Hannah stayed with her the entire day because she was so upset.
As the days went by, they didn’t get any easier for Hannah. School started and Hannah felt Josh’s absence from the building, even though she hadn’t seen him around much the year before.
Ava was miserable because she missed Ethan and because she wasn’t having an easy pregnancy. She was making Hannah miserable as well. Hannah felt some guilt about that, and she tried to tamp it down, but the more she was around Ava and saw exactly what her friend was going through, Hannah knew with absolute surety that Josh was right; they couldn’t risk a pregnancy.
It wasn’t easy, the nights that Josh dropped her off at her house always ended in frustration, more so for him than her. Hannah didn’t think it was fair for him, but he always called a halt before she could relieve him the way he relieved her.
But her seventeenth birthday was right around the corner and she planned on making the move then. Josh had a crazy view of things; his honor and integrity were so important to him, and Hannah knew he wanted her to be mature enough to be able to make certain decisions.
She was ready. If he was still too worried to have sex, that didn’t mean she was going to continue to back down on the other things she wanted from their relationship. It was time for it to progress, and her seventeenth birthday was coming closer on the calendar.
Josh was always at the feed store and spent every extra daylight hour working on the ranch. He studied late at night and Hannah knew he’d be ready to join the force just as soon as he attained his twenty-first birthday. It was only a matter of time.
Katie had left for college a few weeks after Ethan. She’d gotten an awesome academic scholarship to The University of Texas at Arlington. The school was close enough to Redwood Falls that she was coming back home about once a month. Luckily for Hannah, those weekends usually coincided with when her parents went to Shreveport to see her grandmother, and Katie usually spent at least one of the nights with Hannah. Even though Hannah was only getting to see Katie about once a month, the two girls were getting closer than ever.
Jesse Whitaker hadn’t graduated with his class, and his bad grades and age had made him ineligible to play high school football this year. Josh was worried about that and Hannah took extra care. Her behavior was constantly vigilant. She stayed far away from Jesse, but every now and then she’d see him in the hallway and he had a perpetual scowl on his face. The dude was not happy and Hannah knew he was probably even more dangerous than before.
Rebecca Sutty was a senior this year and although she hadn’t bothered Hannah in a long time, there was no love lost between the girls. When Rebecca began dating Jesse, Hannah couldn’t believe it. Almost everyone in the school had heard the rumors about Jesse, and Hannah knew that Rebecca wasn’t an exception. She worried about the two of them together, even though she didn’t like Rebecca. But as the weeks went by, Hannah figured maybe the two of them were suited to each other and she almost completely forgot about it.
Life continued and as the days passed, Hannah was aware that she had left childhood behind and that full adulthood waited so closely in the wings that she could almost touch it.
****
Hannah’s seventeenth birthday came and went without much fanfare from her family, and that was the exact way Hannah wanted it. Josh took her to the diner to eat and gave her a new silver charm for her bracelet. He toyed with the piece of jewelry on her arm every now and then and the looks between them grew heated.
“It’s going to be even harder now,” he rasped from across the table, his nostrils flaring.
Hannah knew exactly what he was referring to, but she intended to make things easier for him, starting that very night. “Do you think it can get any harder?” she teased.
He didn’t smile and his expression became stamped with authority. “I’m being completely serious here, Hannah. We’re going to have to be careful. You turning seventeen is like a trigger for me. I can feel it. I’m telling you that we need to be especially careful from now on.”
“How much more careful can we be? You barely touch me as it is.”
His eyes impaled hers, a raw sizzle filled the air around them as a dangerous look crossed his features. “You want to be in high school and pregnant like your best friend?”
“No.” She picked at her food, not really attempting to eat. “You think I should get on the pill?”
“No, not really. I’ve thought about that, but I think it would make it worse. If I knew you were on the pill, I definitely wouldn’t be able to stop.”
“Would that be so bad? You’ve always said I had to be seventeen. I’m seventeen.”
His gaze became severe and Hannah knew he was going to stick to his guns. She had no idea how long he was going to make them wait now. Freakin’ Ava and Ethan.
“You think this has been easy for me?” he questioned harshly.
“No, I know it hasn’t been, but you’ve been as disciplined as a saint.”
“A saint. Right.” The look in his eyes turned atavistic as his gaze dropped to her t-shirt.
She licked her lips and put her napkin on top of her plate.
“Are you finished?” he asked in a raspy voice.
“Yes.”
“Let’s get out of here. I’ve got a mind to see how disciplined I can be.”
He grabbed her hand and entwined it with his as he led her from the restaurant.
****
An early northern had blown in and the air outside was cold and damp. But inside the confines of Josh’s truck, it was warm and sultry. The windows were fogged and their arms were entwined as they kissed, lying side by side on the bench seat. Josh’s shirt was unbuttoned and hung loose at his sides and Hannah’s naked chest was pressed up against him. Josh was fighting his arousal as he tried to ignore the throbbing in his pants and focus on Hannah. The fingers of one hand speared through her hair and lifted her face as his other hand enclosed her breast. He dragged his thumb back and forth across the tip as he looked into her eyes. “I love this little thing you have right here,” he teased softly.
Lightning speared through him as she pushed her hips against his. “Mmmmm.” Her response was smothered as he bit down on her bottom lip and pulled it between his teeth. She let out a tiny moan and the nipple beneath his thumb hardened to a stiff little point. He felt its impact as if it had a direct connection to his groin.
He lifted his mouth from hers and tried to control his breathing as every rule he’d set out for himself dissolved as if never having existed. “You’re seventeen now.” He couldn’t believe he’d said that, as if he was about to try to talk her into doing something. Shit.
“Yeah,” she panted, nipping him on the chin and trying to bring his mouth back to hers.
“Old enough to make your own decisions.”
“Yeah.” She kissed her way to his ear and fastened her hot little lips around his lobe.
“I think it’s time, Hannah. I want to make love to you. I’m dying here.” Son of a bitch! Had he just said that?
She lifted her head and stared at him, while her hand snaked down between them and began caressing him over the zipper of his jeans. “No.”
“No?” he asked on a groan, never expecting that answer, the feel of her hand about to drive him berserk.
“We can’t. You said we had to be careful. You said it not half an hour ago,” she said through kisses.
