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“Yeah.”
“No,” Hannah said, but she looked away from his eyes as she remembered a conversation she’d had with a guy right after the school year had started.
“Hannah.” Her name was a call to attention and she knew he’d picked up on her body language.
She looked back up as she played with the material of her blue jeans. “What?”
“What are you not telling me?”
“Nothing. Nobody has asked me on a ‘date’. But someone asked me to go out.” Why did she feel like a girl at confession? She wasn’t even Catholic and Josh was as far from a priest as you could ever get.
“Go out? Like to be boyfriend and girlfriend type stuff?” As he said those words, Hannah had the feeling he wasn’t comfortable even using the terminology.
“Yes.”
“And I’m assuming your answer was ‘no’?
“Yeah.”
“Because your parents think you’re too young, or because you wanted to say ‘no’?”
“A little of both, I guess.”
His expression became even more intense. “Who was he?”
She shook her head and then swallowed hard. “I’m not going to tell you that.”
His eyes flared. “Yes, you are.”
She refused to flounder under his demand and answered him quickly, “No, I’m not.”
“What’s the big deal?” he asked impatiently.
She shifted restlessly in her seat. “Why do you want to know?”
“Just curious.”
“I’m curious about you, too. But I’m sure you wouldn’t answer my questions,” she answered, rather pleased that she sounded so nonchalant.
“Try me,” he threw out.
She studied him silently, trying to work up her nerve. “Okay. Why don’t you have a girlfriend?”
His answer was immediate. “I don’t know, because you’ve been too young all my life?”
Hannah smiled spontaneously. That was really sweet, whether it was his intention to be sweet or not. Truly, she knew Josh was only trying to throw her off track. Hannah hadn’t thought he would want to answer her questions, and she was right. He was only using a delaying tactic. “I’m not that young,” she answered his quip.
“You’re pretty damn young, Hannah,” he volleyed back, his eyes running up and down her body.
Hannah swallowed at the look in his eyes and tried to stay on track with the conversation. “Ava’s only like six months older than me and she’s in the bedroom right this moment with Ethan.” Hannah had no clue why she said that, partly because it was true, and partly because when she remembered to think about anything other than Josh, she felt a little shocked that something was going on between Ava and Ethan. Hannah certainly didn’t mean she wanted to go into a bedroom with Josh, because she didn’t.
“Yeah, but age, in your case, isn’t just a number. There are other things to consider—”
Hannah frowned in bewilderment. “Such as?”
“Such as innocence … virginity. Just by sitting on this couch with me shows that you’re at least a little bit naive. And the fact that I’m not just any guy who’s two years older than you are … I’m a Turner, and you’re … a McIntyre.”
“Ava’s not experienced either, Josh. If that’s what you’re insinuating, you’re wrong. And what do our last names have to do with anything?”
“I’m not trying to insinuate anything about Ava. I’m talking specifically about you.” Josh knew in his heart that Hannah had no clue about the animosity between their families. And he wasn’t about to tell her, either. She was also so sweetly naive, that she saw no difference in their circumstances. Already, he could sense what a special person she was, that she was kind and true and that she didn’t have a judgmental bone in her body. But that didn’t mean he could have her. He knew he couldn’t. Geez, her dad would flip a switch if Josh showed up at her house to take Hannah out.
It was bad enough that he was going to have to go there tomorrow and speak with her father about Jesse Whitaker. He couldn’t even imagine how it would be if he tried to take her out, if he let it be known he was interested in Hannah as a girlfriend. He could well imagine the contempt he would see in her dad’s eyes, and that probably wouldn’t be the worst of it. The man would most probably call the law on his ass. And shit, what if he ran into Hannah’s brother? Josh knew that Zachary McIntyre lived in Dallas and spent only part of the week at the ranch. Josh certainly wasn’t scared of him, but how damn awkward would that be? The guy had to know by now that Chris Turner was screwing his wife.
Josh’s goddamn father was worthless, a total fuck-up. Chris Turner couldn’t keep it in his pants; he was so stupid that he was cuckolding one of the richest men in the county. Yeah, Hannah’s brother was rich in his own right, even without his parents’ millions. Josh felt mounting anger and resentment toward his father bleed through his insides. Stupid. His stupid-ass father had to pick the richest family in the county to fuck with. Stupid.
Anger rolled through Josh’s gut at the man who’d never been a true parent to him. His father continually managed to fuck up his life even though Josh lived with his aunt and uncle and had done so for the last five years. So, yeah, Josh could just imagine waltzing into the Bar M and announcing his intentions toward Hannah. And even though Josh could take the fallout and any shit they might throw his way, he didn’t think he was ready for Hannah to have to endure the kind of crap she’d get from her family. The McIntyres wouldn’t just bury the hatchet and let Hannah date him. No, they’d most probably refuse to allow it, maybe even ground her to keep her in the house, and then Hannah would get mad at her family and the close unity and solid support she received from them would become rocky.
And Josh couldn’t do that to her. He’d never make her pick between her family and him, at least he didn’t think he would. But he damn sure wouldn’t do it when she was this young. It wasn’t fair to her. No, he’d have to wait. He’d have to wait until she grew up some, and maybe by then the affair between his fucked-up father and Cindy McIntyre would have run its course and everything would have blown over. He’d never really waited for a girl he wanted before, but he’d never wanted one in the same way that he wanted Hannah.
Tonight was just a small moment out of time that somehow, had fallen into his lap. And Josh meant to take advantage of it. Not by taking sexual advantage of her, because he’d never do that. But this might be the only time he ever got to talk to her for any length of time, hold her in his arms, and drown in the addictive scent that surrounded her.
He understood that he couldn’t have her, but it was going to kill him when she did turn sixteen and found a boyfriend. He realized it wouldn’t take long. Already, he knew if she’d told one kid that she could date when she turned sixteen, that the entire high school population probably knew that fact by now. And the guys were probably marking time on their calendars waiting for her birthday. Hannah was that pretty. And what was even more amazing was that she didn’t seem to understand it.
He slipped his hand to her shoulder. When Hannah remained silent, he said, “Let’s don’t worry about it right now. Just understand that as much as I’d like to, we can’t date.” He didn’t miss her grimace of disappointment and it soothed him, if only a tiny bit, to know she wanted to be with him, as well. “But we have tonight, and right now there’s something that I need to do.”
Hannah’s insides turned liquid as Josh’s eyes became heated and dropped to her lips. “What would that be?” she managed, only barely getting her vocal chords to work.
His hands lifted to her face and gripped her tightly. “I need to kiss you so hard and for so long that if somebody dares to touch you … all you’ll be able to think about is this.”
Josh’s head lowered over hers and Hannah closed her eyes as her whole world became centered on him. A thousand butterflies took flight in her stomach as his kiss consumed her. He didn’t start slow, and he didn’t try to ease her into the kiss. His lips forced hers
open, his tongue thrusting inside and taking over her mouth as if he owned her, as if he’d kissed her a million times before and would do so again a million times in the future.
Hannah trembled under the hands that held her face so tightly, and she could feel it when he immediately began panting. His breath rushed in and out of his lungs even as he maintained contact, and her lungs began doing the same, her need for his kiss stronger than her need for oxygen. She forcibly blocked from her mind his mandate that they couldn’t date, and only let herself focus on the now, on the kisses they were sharing, and tried to remember how they felt, what they did to her insides. Because she knew, deep in her heart … if she couldn’t have Josh, then she’d never feel this way again.
