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He put the vehicle in park, rolled
down the windows to let the breeze blow through and then cut the engine.
He turned and faced her, given her a penetrating look. She took the bull by the horns and asked, “Did you overhear us talking last night?”
“Yep.”
“Have you spoken to my mother?”
“Nope. Only to ask her to watch Hannah for a while.”
“Okay. So, you are mad at me.”
His hand came up and cupped her cheek, making her insides flutter from the gentleness of his touch. “I’m not mad at you, Janet,” he said so sweetly that her heart flipped. “I’m upset you didn’t tell me about it but I’ll get over that, no big deal. But right now all I want is for you to tell me what exactly happened.”
She took a breath and licked her lips. “Well, I don’t know how much you heard. I’ll try to make a not-so-long story even shorter.” Taking another breath, she said, “Hannah’s father died when she was a newborn, you know that already. He was never close to his parents, so I don’t know what their motives were—I guess they felt guilty. They offered me a hundred grand if I’d give up my custodial rights and let them adopt her. I turned around and left and they didn’t try to stop me.”
“Goddammit,” he hissed out.
“Seriously, Jeff. My mom worries over nothing—it was a long time ago. Nothing’s going to happen now.”
“What happens if she’s right, though?” His mouth clenched tightly, the lines at either side forming brackets of protest. “What happens when one of them dies and the other figures out that a little kid hanging around might offset some of the loneliness? Hell, anything could make them change their minds and try again.”
She bit her lip, her stomach quivering. “I don’t think it’s going to happen and I don’t think we should live our lives in fear.”
“And if it does?” he asked with flattened lips.
“I’m a good mother—I don’t think any court in the world would take her away from me.”
His eyes narrowed as if she’d said something to offend him. “Away from us, you mean?”
****
When Janet finally tipped one side of her mouth up and nodded her head in earnest agreement, Jeff felt a measure of relief—relief that she thought of Hannah as ‘theirs’.
But Christ, he had to get her to understand what could happen—and what would happen to their world if something bad happened. He had the means to prevent—they had the means to prevent a catastrophe from happening, if only he could get Janet to see reason.
Adoption was the answer and he wasn’t going to settle for anything less. “I want to adopt Hannah. I’ve always wanted to adopt her, but now there’s a real reason—an important reason—the most important reason in the world. Think about it, babe. God forbid, and this would literally kill me, but what if something happened to you? Wouldn’t you want Hannah to stay here with me and Zach? I would have no rights, zero rights where she’s concerned if something were to happen to you. What if they tried to get her then? Her entire world would be ripped apart. She’s such a happy kid. I love her—Zach loves her. And she loves us. Is that really a chance you want to take?”
He could tell she was listening to him. Her face paled as her lips visibly trembled. “No,” she finally whispered as tears came to her eyes. “It’s not a chance I’d want to take at all.”
He sucked in a deep breath of relief at her willingness to talk about it. “Baby, I know when this started, between you and me, I know I was an ass. I put pressure on you to have another baby, I put pressure on you to let me adopt Hannah. And I admit my intentions weren’t what they should have been. Back then, it was all about you.” He lifted his fingers and entangled them in her hair, unable to keep his hands to himself. “All I wanted was you, to tie you to me for life. And I was selfish enough to want that any way I could get it. And trust me, I still want that. I still want you and I’m never, ever going to let you go. But now, this is different. This is about Hannah. Goddammit, Janet—I love her. I love her as much as I love Zach. It would kill me if something happened to her. She calls me ‘daddy’. I am her daddy. Please, please don’t let anybody try to take her away from me.”
He hated to upset her and now the tears were rolling down her face. He felt like a blade had pierced his heart. He never wanted Janet upset or sad or hurt, and he’d upset her with this demand. But it was time. His motives were honest, his intentions were in the right place now.
As he wiped away her tears with his thumbs, she attempted a smile. “I’m kind of hoping we’ll have years and years together,” she said simply, her eyes glimmering.
“Well, yeah, me too. But shit happens, babe. And I know that better than most. Sweetheart, I love you. And I know that you love me—”
“I do love you,” she interrupted, making heat accelerate down his spine .
“I know you do. But do you trust me?”
“Yes,” she answered quickly and emphatically.
And with that, he felt like he was three-quarters of the way there. “Nothing’s going to break up our family, at least nothing within my power to stop. But we have to plan for all contingencies. There’s absolutely no reason not to do this now.”
As he held his breath and waited for the answer that he prayed she’d give, she nodded her head and held his eyes with hers. “I agree. It’s a precaution we should take. But what about Zach? If, as you say, God forbid, anything should happen to you—”
“There’s nobody who’d have more of a claim on Zach than you. You know that. His mother and I had no families.” He couldn’t stop himself from running his thumb over her bottom lip. “But, I’m totally okay with you adopting him, though.”
Her gaze clung to his, her heart in her eyes. “I want him. I want to raise him. If anything happens to you, I give you my word that I’ll love him and raise him to the best of my ability, but—”
“But what?” he asked, his stomach crunching into knots.
“But—it needs to be his choice. And I promise that I won’t get upset if it’s not something he wants. I’ll understand. He remembers his mom and… “
As her words dwindled off, Jeff couldn’t remember a moment that he’d loved her more. She was everything he wanted in this life. She was his lover. His partner. His soul mate. But it was more than that. Had he ever met a more selfless, giving person? Every day that went by, every moment that passed, he loved her more.
He reached to cup her cheek. “Thank you for that. No matter what he decides, I know he loves you.”
She began to tear up her bottom lip with her teeth, but at the same time, she nodded her head as new tears glistened in her eyes. “I know he does. Maybe he doesn’t know it yet, but I feel it in my heart and that’s enough for me.”
Jeff couldn’t stand it anymore. He wrapped his arms around her and took her mouth under his.
As he kissed her with everything he had to give, he let the peace of knowing she loved him as much as he loved her seep into his soul.
Life was finally perfect, and by God, he was going to honor and take care of his family. And he was going to enjoy each and every second with the woman he loved.
Epilogue
The Bar M Ranch—fifteen years later
Jeff leaned back in his chair and contemplated the framed pictures of his family that lined the walls of his study. Both his study inside the house and his office in the barn were decorated with family pictures, but not because Janet had wanted it to be so.
No, the pictures were for him, at his request. Group pictures of the four of them on vacations and such, and single pictures of Hannah and Zach at various ages, all with matching frames that blended unobtrusively with the decor. That part had been Janet’s doing, of course.
She’d balked at putting up so many pictures of herself, but he’d been adamant and won that particular fight. His eyes fell to one photo in particular that was, by far, his favorite. Why, he couldn’t really say because she hadn’t been posing or wearing anything particularly sexy that day. Zach had snapped the p
icture some five years before and it hadn’t been planned—or approved by Janet.
She’d been in the kitchen that day, somewhat frazzled when she’d had to produce three dozen cupcakes for Hannah’s class with only a few hours of notice. She’d pulled her hair into a messy top-knot, her face had been free of make-up, and the look on her face was priceless as she’d realized that Zach was about to take her picture. She’d raised her spatula in warning as if she was about to launch it at him, chocolate icing and all—the same icing that was smeared across her forehead and the bridge of her nose.
Jeff found himself chuckling as he studied the picture, for about the millionth time. She’d been so adorable in that moment, the perfect wife and mother, and the fact that Zach had recognized that the occasion should be captured for all time was indicative of his love for his stepmother. For all those reasons, Jeff adored the picture. It took him back to a time when Janet had always been frazzled in the kitchen, back to a time when he would have chosen starvation rather than find a housekeeper who actually knew how to cook.
Shit, he loved her so much—he was so fucking crazy about her—still, to this day.
He’d been a damn lucky man when he found her and he couldn’t picture his life without her. For that matter, he couldn’t picture his life without Hannah and Zach either. No, his life was complete and it hadn’t taken more children to make it so. They’d never really ruled out having more kids, but as one year had bled into the next and they’d been so busy raising the two they already had, more children hadn’t seemed necessary.
And now Hannah had just turned sixteen and Jeff really couldn’t believe how quickly the time had slipped away. Zach was living mostly in Dallas, although he kept a house here on the ranch, which pleased Jeff immensely. But it worried him to no end when he thought about the pain his son was enduring. Zach had gotten married after college and the result hadn’t been good. The woman was a shrew and a cheater and the marriage was disintegrating. The situation was taking a toll, but Zach was strong and well-grounded, giving Jeff real hope for his son’s future. He prayed things would change and that Zach would find happiness going forward because Jeff was truly afraid his son was becoming jaded.
