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His father tossed the wrench aside and turned to face him, a grimace stamped on his expression. Profound worry was etched on his face, the lines revealing themselves in the sunlight that streamed across the back of the barn where they stood.
"Ethan, listen to me, son." A look that Ethan rarely saw from his father came into prominent focus. "I've got some shit to say and I need you to listen to me. I've been worried about you for a while now. I need you to understand where I'm coming from, okay?"
"Okay," Ethan agreed warily as he picked up a rag to wipe the remnants of grease from his hands, almost dreading what his father might say.
His dad leaned back against the tractor and took a deep breath. A knot formed in Ethan's stomach as his father studied him before finally saying, "I know you've played fast and loose in the past and I've always had your back, even though your mother would fall over dead if she knew about it."
Shit. They were going to have a sex conversation? Ethan so didn't need this right now.
His old man took a breath, continuing, "Kid, you got one shot out of Redwood Falls without incurring so much debt that you'd probably never recover from it, and that shot is football. As much as I'd like you to stay here, to raise a family close by, I know that's not where your heart's at. So listen up and listen good."
His dad paused, looking thoughtful, as if forcing himself to say something that he needed to get off his chest. "This thing you've got going with the Anderson girl, it could get you into real trouble. I've seen how you look at her. Hell, it's the same goddamn look I've been giving your mother for years, so I understand your feelings for this girl run deep and nothing I can do or say will change that."
Ethan stood in semi-shock as he listened to the longest speech he'd ever heard his old man make in his entire life. Even when his dad had given him the first box of condoms, all he'd said was, Use these and don't be stupid. If you don't want to buy more yourself, I'll do it for you. And don't let your mother know. Ethan had been thankful at the time, even if he'd already been buying them himself for a solid year before his dad had taken that chore away from him.
But that was before Ava, a long time before Ava, and this talk wasn't about random sex with a random girl. This was about Ava, and Ethan had to grit his teeth to remain silent, because it was nobody's business but his and Ava's. But his father loved him, had always had his back, and Ethan had to respect that, had to let his father make a speech that would ease his mind somewhat.
As his dad steadied himself to say more, Ethan waited for him to go on. "I know you want to go to college. I know you want a degree so you can get out of here and make some real money. As much as it pains me for you to leave, I only want you to be happy. Your mom and I, we like Ava. And I'm not saying that someday, someday in the future, that y'all can't be together. What I'm saying is that if you're not careful, you're going to get her pregnant and your chances of finishing college will be slim to none. So. Be. Careful. Understand me? It's your future, not mine, so remember, I only want what will make you happy." A rueful smile finally touched his father's lips as he finished up. "Even though I'll have to deal with your mother missing having you here in Redwood Falls for the rest of her life."
"Dad—I don't—I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything, son. Just promise me you'll be careful."
Ethan took a deep breath and nodded his head. "I'll be careful."
"That's all I can ask," his dad finished up before closing the space between them and enclosing Ethan in a bear hug.
****
The months continued to fly by. Prom came and went, as did Ethan's high school graduation. He'd sat through the ceremony in a haze, so ready and yet, totally not ready for his future to begin. The angst at the thought of leaving Ava was killing him. But he still had the summer left with her, and by God, he was going to make the most of it.
And on this particular night, the sky seemed darker than usual as he pulled into the pasture and cut the motor. He dipped his head, looking out the windshield, but he could see neither moon nor stars through the mist and haze.
It was seriously pitch black.
After a few seconds, the interior lights of the cab went out and he glanced across the empty space between them and tried to see Ava, but he could only make out the line of her silhouette. It didn't make a damn bit of difference. He could feel her sitting there, right within reach.
His groin tightened and as he released his death grip on the steering wheel, he realized that he was on a tighter leash than normal. For whatever reason, he'd been stressed all day. His future was coming up full speed ahead and there wasn't a damn thing he could do to stop it. Everything looked great going forward, he had the scholarship he needed at one of the best schools in the state, but he couldn't seem to stay focused on the positives in his life. All he knew was he was about to take a massive kick in the ass that he had no damn idea how he was going to handle. He'd be looking at Redwood Falls in his rearview mirror and he'd be away from the one thing that seemed to calm him down—Ava. And for some reason, when he'd rolled out of bed that morning, the realization of that truth had gripped him by the throat and wouldn't let go. The entire fucking day the only thing he could think about was taking her in his arms and letting himself get lost inside of her, allowing himself to forget that in a few short months they were going to be separated.
Unclipping his seatbelt, he moved to the center seat and unable to control the motion or slow down the movement, he twisted his torso and claimed Ava by the shoulders. As he found her mouth, unerringly in the dark, he tried to calm down, tried to go slow, but it was all but impossible. All he could think about was feeling her slick, smooth body slide down over his, putting him out of his misery, at least temporarily.
She made a soft, startled sound that told him she hadn't seen him coming, and he felt the slight intake of air that she made before she began kissing him back. Oh, yeah, that was good. He closed his eyes and let the feel of her sweet lips, soft tongue and silky skin envelop him. His emotions seemed to settle a notch, but even so, his erection only hardened in his pants, begging to be let out. As he felt all the blood in his body coalesce to his cock, he tried to slow down and concentrate on the feel of her in his arms.
Her mouth felt like magic, an addictive magic, just like it always did, and without his input, one hand slid into her hair and gripped her by the scalp as his other hand palmed her breast. He caressed her soft skin, loving the weight of her breast, addicted to the feel of her breasts, before he found her nipple. He rasped his thumb back and forth, his erection almost blowing the zipper on his pants, at the same time he felt her melt in his arms. Oh, yeah, baby, that was it, that's what he loved so much about her, that's what had him so fucking addicted to her—it was the way she immediately melted in his arms as if he and he alone rocked her world.
Jesus, she rocked his world. Always had, always would. And it was more than that, she was his world. He swirled his tongue around her mouth, their breaths coming harder, in tandem, and when he felt her hand go to the crotch of his jeans, he was lost.
He released her for all of the five seconds it took to undo his jeans and push them down around his ankles. He leaned in and nipped her lips once again, and then pulled her t-shirt over her head, repeating the action with his own shirt. He began helping her with her shorts, and when he'd discarded them, he grabbed her by the hips, sinking his fingers into the flesh he adored, and then pulled her over him.
He couldn't wait. He'd needed this all day. Foreplay would have to come later. Now wasn't a time he could even think about taking the time he usually did with her. Christ, he'd go fucking crazy if he couldn't get it in, like now. He lifted her, put her in the exact position to slide over him, but before he let her go down, he put his fingers on her to make sure she was ready.
He needed to be inside, but damn if he would hurt her.
Thank fuck, she was ready. Dripping with it, just the way he was used to. Yeah, that was his girl. Always wanting h
im, always ready for him, always his.
That shit was never going to change—he'd never let it change—no matter what happened.
He lifted her and as she began to sink down on him, he heard her sigh of ecstasy.
Oh, fuck yeah. He'd known it was going to feel exceptionally fan-fucking-tastic tonight, but for some reason, it seemed to feel even better than usual.
Electricity running down his spine in searing waves, he pulled her bra down and her breasts popped over the top. Unable to wait another second, he sank his teeth around a plump nipple.
Gratifyingly, it pebbled in his mouth and his brain exploded with the exquisite sensation. She moaned and lifted, took a stroke, and then another, and the words left his lips in a heated rush. "Shit, baby, so good—so damn good. You're fucking awesome tonight."
At his words, she stilled as her fingernails sank into his shoulders with a punishing feminine force.
What the fuck? Why was she stopping? Even now, he could feel a drop of pre-cum he couldn't hold back. He sank his hands around her hips and tried to take another stroke, but she wasn't allowing it, and a conflagration of messed-up shit settled in his gut as he tried to stay still, when in reality, all he wanted was to feel her begin stroking him again.
But fuck it all to hell, she began pushing away from him. "Ethan."
His name coming from her lips in that tone did nothing for his mood and he felt the growl leave his throat as his fingers tightened on her waist. "What?"
Almost frantically, she began trying to slide off him. "You didn't put a condom on!"
Sudden horror gripped him by the throat. FUCK. He allowed her to slide off, but only long enough for him to open the glove compartment and grab what they needed.
Ten seconds later, she was on top of him and he felt heaven surround him once again. They found their rhythm and then too damn fast, they were coming together, something they'd perfected weeks before. As she finally rested against him, his life was good again. The moment had been perfect, even if his insane memory lapse could have screwed everything up.
But it was all good. Everything would be okay, just like Ava always assured him it would be. He'd go to college, she'd graduate a year early, or actually the year she'd been meant to from the beginning. Their separation would only be for ten months. And they'd get to see each other between times. Holidays and weekends, they'd make it work. They had to make it work—because if they didn't, his life wouldn't be worth living.
****
