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"A little over a month. It's intense. We've been seeing each other on the down low and now he's pushing me for a real relationship. He doesn't want to sneak around anymore and I really can't blame him. I feel like I have to make a decision. And I don't want to bury my head in the sand about the future. I don't think that marriage would be out of the question sometime in the future. I'm afraid he will want that. He takes things very seriously. I don't think this is a game for him. I don't know what to do."
"There's only one thing you can do, baby. You have to decide if you want him in your life enough to conquer your fears."
****
Monday she got a text from him. 'can't come. Drug bust this a.m. loose ends to tie up. No worries. Bad guys in jail already.'
Amy had twin feelings of loneliness for him, and tenderness that he would try to ease her fears in a text message. He was taking care not to upset her again.
Tuesday, she received another text. 'In court all day. Tomorrow. Be ready.' She felt a profound sense of disappointment and excitement for the day to come.
By Wednesday, Amy was wondering if it all the subterfuge was worth it. She was already more than halfway in love with him. She was also missing him so badly, she felt almost light-headed with it.
His truck wasn't there when she pulled up. Disappointment engulfed her. She went in the house and dropped her books. With the hope that he would make it over today, she hurried into her bedroom and had a quick wash. She changed out of her clothes and into a tiny little blue babydoll dress. She slipped on blue lace panties. She looked down at her newly painted hot pink toes. It was warm in the house and she didn't need shoes.
At four-forty five, he pulled in front of her house. She was opening her front door as she was finishing a conversation with Kayla on the cell phone. She opened the door wide and smiled at him. He stepped through and took her in his arms. She stared up at him. God, she had missed him. She tried to concentrate on her daughter. "Yes, that's fine, Kayla. Just don't forget to bring the permission slip home tonight. I'll write you a check and you can turn it in tomorrow. You'll still get to go to region." She listened for a second. "Okay. Love you, baby. Bye."
She ended the call and wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed. "Hi." She smiled up at him.
He smiled back. Anticipation clenched her nerves.
"Hi, yourself." He squeezed her back. Her phone immediately rang again. She rolled her eyes and answered it without looking at the display. She couldn't tear her eyes from his face. "What'd you forget, baby?"
Jake watched as Amy's face lost animation. She turned away from him and lowered her voice.
He blatantly followed her into the living room and listened to her side of the conversation. He stood with his booted feet apart and his hands at his sides.
"I'm sorry. I thought you were my daughter." A pause. "Oh, uh-huh. That's great. Yes, she's a smart girl." A hesitation. "I'm proud of her. Thanks for telling me." She turned and stood watching him, watching her. "N-no. I can't. Thank you, though." She listened. "I d-don't know. I'm so busy with the semester closing." She lowered her eyes from Jake's. "Maybe some other time."
Amy ended the call and looked back at Jake. Fierce emotion was instantly covered behind hooded eyes. His hands were fisted at his sides. They were clenched so hard, his knuckles were white.
Amy felt a slither of nausea roll through her stomach. "Was that the coach?" The words were so controlled and softly spoken that they upset her more than his usual bark.
"Yes. He wanted to tell me that Kayla made a perfect score on her six week research project." She tried to keep the explanation simple and close to the whole truth.
"You think that's normal? For a high school teacher to call a mom just to tell her a grade?" He was holding himself so tightly he was afraid he would snap.
"N-no. Probably not." She softly shook her head.
"Answer one question for me, sweetheart." Amy had never seen him act like this before. It was not his usual method of operation. "Did I just hear you tell a man that you might go out with him?
Jake crossed his arms and waited for her answer. It was slow in coming. "It was just to get him off the phone. I didn't mean it. I don't want to go out with him." His expression turned glacial.
He turned on his heel and strode to the door.
"Jake, wait. I'm not going to go out with him. You have to know that. Please don't go."
With his hand on the door, he turned toward her and studied her a moment. "It's late, Amy. Kayla will be home soon. I'll see you later."
He turned and left.
Amy let out a small sob. The worst part was his control. He should have been out of control. He should have been pushing her against the wall and ripping her panties off and demanding her submission.
It terrified her that he didn't.
Chapter Ten
By Friday evening, Amy was getting desperate. Her nerves were shot and her emotions were in a tangle. It didn't help that Kayla was spending the night with a friend. She didn't have anything to take her mind off of Jake.
