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Jake couldn't believe he didn't have the upper hand in this situation. It was ridiculous. He wanted all of her, but seemed willing to settle for whatever small amount she would give him. It pissed him off no small degree.
Amy was stunned at the passion they shared. She had had sex for so many years with her husband, and it was never like this. Never had they lost control from petting. She never experienced the level of release that Jake gave her.
Jake released her from his hold and stood up and walked to the kitchen. He returned in a moment with a wet cloth.
He dropped it in her hand. Amy caught it and looked up at him. The shutters were down again. What had she done? What had she done with one unthinking sentence?
"Okay, hon. That was fun. I'll see you Monday."
Hon? Since when did he call her 'hon?' He called her babe, sweetheart, and Amy, and all with a level of tenderness. Or raunchiness. The 'hon' was quite sarcastic. A flyaway endearment. Something he might call a whore. Amy saw red.
She stood up, wiped her hands off and adjusted her clothing. She was through with begging him for forgiveness. She tossed the rag back at him and almost lost it when she saw the comical look on his face when faced with his own mess.
"Whatever." She brushed passed him.
He grabbed her arm. "What the hell do you mean by that?"
"What the hell do you mean by treating me like a whore?"
"A whore?" He roared. "When did I do that?"
"I quote. That was fun. I'll see you Monday." She pulled on her arm. "How was that supposed to make me feel? Like you respect and care for me?"
He dropped her arm and stepped away from her. "Fuck. I do respect and care for you. Too goddamn much. What do you expect from me Amy? How exactly do you want me to treat you? You give me so much as a nod in the right direction, and I'll lay it all out for you, sweetheart." He began to shout. "You already know." He grabbed his hair with his hands. "Fuck it. You already know. I love you. Goddamn it. I love you.
She stared at him as her heart melted around her.
He continued his rant. "I fell for you. Bad. I've got it bad for you, Amy. You've got to decide. This is going to kill me. I can let you go. Probably. If I have to. But I can't keep doing this. I can't keep sleeping with you. Having you, but not having you. I'm not going to quit being a cop. Not anytime soon, anyway. I love it. It's my life. You've got to make a decision. You can either handle it, or you can't. You either want in, or you want out. You either love me, or you don't."
He stopped talking and looked at her. Amy stared back, her eyes swimming in tears. She walked toward him. She put her hands on his chest and whispered, "I'm in."
Jake felt his heart slam against his ribcage. "Don't mess with me, Amy. Just rip the goddamn bandage off with one sharp pull."
Her hand moved up to his cheek. "I love you, Jake. I'm crazy about you. I can handle it, I promise. I don't want to lose you." She smiled weakly at him.
"You love me? Did you just say you love me?" His voice was hoarse.
"Yes, I love you. I've probably loved you from the beginning. I've been in denial a long time. God knows it started out as lust, but I knew right away you were going to be trouble. You've been right all along, I was running from you from the very beginning." Her voice was soft, her eyes softer.
"Come here, babe." He took her by the hand and pulled her down on the couch. He placed her on his lap, and her head fell against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her so she couldn't run.
"There's something you've got to understand. Something you've got to agree to. I don't care where we live. My house, your house, or a new house altogether. But we're going to have to get married. I don't want short term. This is it. Commitment time. Real commitment. I want to live with you. Every day. I want you to sleep in my bed, every night. We can live wherever you think we will have enough room for me, you, and Kayla. Okay?"
"Yes." Her voice was soft.
"Yes, you'll marry me?" This was it. He held his breath.
"Yes, I'll live with you every day, and sleep with you every night. Yes, Jake, I'll marry you." She reached for his mouth with hers.
Jake felt a surge of relief hit him. The tension left his body. He opened his mouth for her and his tongue tangled with hers. He put his hand to the back of her head and lifted her for a deeper penetration. They shared kisses and caresses and whispered words of lust and love.
When her breathing deepened, he lifted his head and said, "You're going to tell that son of a bitch that you're never going out with him."
She smiled into his eyes and said, "Absolutely."
