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He couldn't stop the shudder, even now, just thinking about it.
And it had only gotten worse, as the days went on. She had him exactly where he'd never intended to be. Hung up on her, jealous over her, wanting to own her, body and soul.
But he'd be damned if she'd control him. He did things his way, all the way. He would be in control of this relationship. But it had upset her to know he'd thought about getting laid. And he didn't want her upset. So she wanted exclusivity? Not a fucking problem. He could give her that, because evidently, as he'd proven tonight, he didn't want to fuck anybody else, anyway.
But she was his, and she needed to learn that fact, memorize that fact, like now. He wasn't going to put up with guys drooling over her gorgeous little body in a string-fucking-bikini. Wasn't. Going. To. Happen. She wanted to wear it when he was around to shoot the other guys down? Fine. Not a problem. But she wasn't wearing it when he wasn't around.
With emotions running high and knots of tension shifting through his nervous system, he set out now to both soothe her and to get his way. "Don't cry, sweetheart." Reaching up, he wiped the tears away from her face. "We've had a fight, that's all." He purposely kept his voice gentle, and it didn't escape his notice that he was doing exactly what he'd told her only a few weeks ago that he'd never do. Seduce her into doing what he wanted, even if it meant having to bare his soul. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you." He lifted her chin and locked her eyes with his. "It won't happen again, I swear to God. I don't know what I was attempting to prove . . . I'm so fucked-up over you. This thing between us, it wasn't what I signed on for but I can't fight against it. All I want is you. You're all I ever think about and I . . . I almost vomited when that skank sat beside me and touched me. I thought about doing her. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I thought about it. But just as soon as the thought hit my head, I felt like I was cheating on you, and I hadn't even done anything yet. Just the thought of fucking her felt like a betrayal, and I almost physically threw up. And then . . . then I felt guilty and mad and totally fucked-up, and I drove around for hours. I'm sick of fighting it, I'm sick of fighting against it. I want you, and I want to touch you, all of you, and I promise, I'll never fuck up again."
Connor's rambling words came to a halt, and he waited, uneasy, for some kind of response from Jessica. She looked totally blind-sided, and he used the moment to press for even more. Dropping a kiss on her lips, he asked, "Will you come home with me tonight? I need to get away from here, away from this apartment, but I have to have you with me. Get your stuff and come with me, okay?"
She started nodding her head, quick little movements, up and down, and she said simply, "Okay."
He released her arms, and she stepped away and began gathering her belongings.
****
It was late, and the traffic was light as they left the suburb of Richardson and boarded the George Bush Expressway. Connor had never, not even once, mentioned where he lived in all the weeks she'd known him, and he'd certainly never mentioned taking her there before.
There was no conversation between them as they travelled along, each in their own thoughts. Jessica wanted to ask him where he lived, but his mouth was set in a harsh line, and she knew she'd find out before too much longer anyway. She'd been living in the area for over two years now, and although she didn't own a vehicle of her own, Allison did, and the two girls had explored the area in a wide circumference all around the university campus. So when Connor left the expressway and began travelling north on I-75, Jessica continued to recognize her whereabouts. He'd already told her where his company was located, and as they travelled north, continuing farther into an area known as the telecommunications corridor, it all made sense to her that this was the area of town where he would live.
Before too long, he left the interstate and drove into a gated, upscale neighborhood in Plano, another suburb within the DFW metroplex. Feeling her nervousness escalate, she sat still as he pulled into a three-car driveway and pressed a button on his dash that raised the garage doors. Automatic lights lit up the interior, and Jessica was surprised to see what amounted to piles and piles of stacked boxes taking up an organized space of one entire bay. She made no comment about them, although her curiosity was piqued. Connor cut the engine and within minutes he was helping her out and they were walking into the house from the rear entrance. She carried her backpack over her shoulder, stuffed with clothes and toiletries, and as they walked through, he unhooked it from her arm and relieved her of its weight. There were a few lamps that had been left on, so they weren't walking into total darkness. But she still had little time to take in her surroundings, because Connor dropped her backpack to the floor and without any preliminaries, hoisted her at the waist and dropped her over his shoulder as if she were booty he'd won and began carrying her down a long hallway.
Entering a darkened room, he flipped her to her back on the middle of the bed, where she promptly scrambled to a sitting position. He moved toward another door that she imagined was the bathroom, and turned on a light that cast a soft glow over the bedroom. His gaze locked on hers where she sat, and as he continued to stare into her eyes, he began stripping. He made quick work of it, and came to stand at the foot of the bed. "Clothes--off."
A sharp spiral of heat rushed through Jessica at the brusque command so like the ones he'd given her a month ago. But unlike the dread and trepidation she'd felt then, now arousal and anticipation coiled in a knot in her stomach. Licking her lips and containing a tremble of need, she slipped her shorts and panties down her legs and let them fall to the floor. He continued to watch her in silence, potent sexual chemistry beating hot and heavy in the air around them. Still unsure about displaying her body so boldly, she grabbed at one of the pillows and pulled it around to hug in front of herself, effectively hiding herself from him.
He growled a low warning in his throat, and the heat she felt slid down her spine and coalesced into a knot of arousal that landed in licks of fire between her thighs.
As he looked down at her, he adjusted his stance and his pectoral muscles came into bold prominence as his eyes narrowed and his gaze became more pointed. His erection jutted out from his body, swollen and rigid. "I want the shirt off, Jessica." He punched the words out in a harsh, demanding tone.
Her heart began pounding in her chest, arousal humming below the surface, trying to break free. She wanted to give him what he wanted, but there was still too much between them. "What about what I want?"
His eyes became hooded, his body held in inflexible bands of steel. "What do you want?"
What she wanted above all else was to know him, to get close to him, but he always kept that invisible line between them. "If I have to be naked, then you--you need to start m-moving in that direction to." That took everything she had to say, and she couldn't contain the tremble in her voice.
His brows pulled down in a frown, and he motioned to himself with one hand, sharply and impatiently, indicating his nude body.
She shook her head. "That's not what I mean."
"What then?" he asked, edginess rumbling from his voice as his shaft jerked and throbbed.
She inhaled deeply. "I'll take my shirt off, if you answer a question for me," she negotiated softly.
His eyes dropped to the pillow that hid her lower torso from him, and then slid up to her breasts hidden beneath her t-shirt. His nostrils flared and he hissed out through gritted teeth, "What question?"
Jessica steeled her nerves and asked, "You know what forced me into our relationship, so I'd like to know why you wanted it, as well." At his silence, she reiterated, "What made you want our . . . arrangement?"
There was a second there when she actually thought he would answer her. He inhaled sharply and his eyes left hers to settle somewhere to the left of her. He pushed his hand through his hair and then gripped the back of his neck.
The seconds ticked by, and the silence in the bedroom became deafening, the tick of a clock resonating loudly, underlining the absence of
any other sound in the room. As the moment wore on and it became apparent he wouldn't answer her, heartache joined the arousal bleeding through her veins, and she wanted more than anything to soothe away the tormented look in his eyes. As he stood in silence, she almost gave in to him; she knew she was only seconds away from coming to her knees and lifting her shirt over her head. She wanted to say, 'never mind', and take away the condition she'd put on the gift of her body.
But she never got the chance.
His eyes fell back on her, and the menacing accusation she read in them rendered her completely still. His shoulders stiffened and his muscles became like sinewy bands of steel. Fire smoldered in his eyes and his stance became one of iron control. His voice when he spoke was primal, his intentions coming out loud and clear. "Leave the fucking shirt on, then."
Chapter Nine
Connor was on Jessica in a second, pulling the pillow away from her body and throwing it violently across the room. He flipped her over with a punishing move that took her by surprise and landed her on her stomach. It had the opposite effect on her than when he did the same thing weeks ago. The arousal that had stayed under the surface came over Jessica in a wave of longing so fast and hard that she mewled into the mattress. She heard an answering growl come from his throat as he wrapped his arm around her waist and jerked her up to her knees.
Currents of sensation slammed her down low, and she felt moisture between her thighs. He pushed her knees apart and came between them, pushing so close that she felt completely dominated by his much larger body. He was so much bigger than she was, and he was using his size to control her now.
She should hate it, she really should. But she couldn't. She waited restlessly for the moment he'd sink into her, dying to feel that exact moment when he'd stretch her and push past the restrictive tightness of her body until she felt his fullness completely.
Her heart beating wildly, she felt him push that first inch inside of her--but then he stalled. His torso came forward and covered her, his head fell to the side of hers and he hissed in her ear, "You want it, Jessica?"
