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“Where would you go, Amy,” he repeated, his voice taking on an edge.
I sighed as Dallon swiped our room key. “Australia.”
Dallon smiled smugly. “Done.”
Before I could register what he’d said, he pushed open the door and strode into the hotel room. I scrambled after him, clumsily taking my shoes off out of habit. I found him in the study where he’d left his cell phone for the afternoon.
“Just send me available packages during High Season,” he was saying into the phone. “October or November, maybe. I want to go when it’s warm.”
He glanced up when I entered and winked. “For two.”
My heart leapt as I realized what he was up to. The person he was speaking to must have sounded surprised as well because he repeated, “Yes, two seats. I’m going on vacation, Madeline. With my girlfriend.”
Madeline… I’d heard that name before. His receptionist.
“Thank you.” He ended his phone call, his smile fading when he saw my expression. “What?”
“Two things. Your receptionist works on the weekend?”
He scowled. “When there is a need for it, yes.”
“That need being that it’s nearing the end of our day?”
His lip twitched. “Clever girl. I’m taking you to Australia. End of story.”
“You’re taking our agreement to a whole new level.”
He crossed his arms, leaning back against the desk. “Have a seat,” he said and motioned to the armchair across from him.
I crossed my arms as well but sat, kicking my feet onto the coffee table one at a time. Again, his eyes traveled along my bare legs to where the short skirt of my dress ended near the top of my thighs. I glared at him.
“I have a job now.”
“You have vacation time. You don’t work in a sweatshop.”
“No,” I relented, “but I do have to visit my parents at some point.”
He waved his hand vaguely. “We can do that on a long weekend. I’ll pay the extra cost.”
I put a hand on my forehead and sighed. “It’s not about the money. At least, not the way you think.”
“What will it take you to understand that I want to spend money on you? I can make your dream come true, but you won’t let me. Why?
I opened my mouth, closed it.
“Is it that you don’t want to go away that long with me?”
“No!” I said quickly. “It’s not that at all, Dallon.”
“Then what do you need, Amy?”
I’d already tried explaining how I felt indebted to him, so I tried something else. Maybe if there was more give and take, I’d be more willing to accept what he needed.
“I want to know you too,” I said, remembering what he’d said during one of our first conversations. “I want you to feel like you can tell me anything.”
He frowned and made his way to the bar, poured himself a glass of wine and handed me one. I could tell he wasn’t impressed because he didn’t look me in the eye.
“I need that the way you need me to submit to you.”
He looked at me with hooded eyes. “So for you, being confided in makes you feel loved and like the most important person in your partner’s life.”
“Yes.”
He grunted and took a sip of his wine. “I’m a very private person.”
“I know.”
“I’m afraid you might be disappointed.”
I bit my lip, considering how to proceed. “Would you consider telling me how you ended up in hospital?”
His jaw tightened and he exhaled through his teeth, leaned back against the desk again. “I don’t want to revisit that stage in my life.”
“Fine.” I backed off, but he had been right; I was disappointed. I stood and walked to the window. Tiki torches were lit around the edge of the pool patio and people were cooking s ’mores over a fire pit. Everything looked so peaceful and easy.
“I hated myself when I discovered who I am,” Dallon said finally.
My eyes widened at this, but I didn’t flinch or turn around. Somehow it felt easier for both of us to have this conversation without looking at each other.
“I tried to return to my old ways, but I couldn’t. All I could think about was… Well, doing what people like me do.” He sounded miserable. When he spoke again, his voice was shaky.
“I tried to kill myself. That’s how I ended up in hospital. I didn’t think the world needed another monster.”
I went to him, wrapping my arms tightly around him. “You’re not a monster. Not even close. I’ve never felt safer than when I’m with you.”
He didn’t hug me back. His arms hung limply at his sides, and he was staring forward at nothing. “That’s sad.”
I flinched at his self-loathing tone. “No, it’s not. You take care of me in every way.”
“At what cost?”
“No cost. Only benefit.”
I took his hand and pressed it to my lips the way he had earlier. He squeezed mine slightly, the first sign that he might come back to me.
“You’re a good person, Dallon. You’re generous and protective. You started a shelter and you’re so good to Brendan. He worships you.”
“Thank you.” It was stated as a whisper. He was staring straight forward as if lost in his thoughts. When his phone rang, we both jumped. Like a robot, he made his way over to it.
“Hello, Madeline,” he answered, his voice devoid of emotion. “Just email me what you’ve found. Thank you for your help this evening.”
He hesitated. “I’d like to buy you a gift certificate. I…” He floundered for a moment, most likely because she had always been the one to buy them for him. My suspicions were confirmed when he said, “No, I’ll do it. Monday. See you Monday.”
Dallon put down the phone and rubbed his face.
Shit. I’d ruined a good moment, and on top of that, I’d made him feel bad about himself.
Excusing myself, I went to the bathroom, grasped the edge of the vanity for support. My reflection in the mirror was flushed from the wine and our intense conversation, but there was more to it. I knew what I wanted, what I had to do.
Passing through the bedroom, I pulled my dress over my head, dropped it on the bed and continued into the study. Dallon was on the phone again and holding a beer. He turned around when I walked in, his eyes widening slightly and then dipping low to take me in.
“Just do what I said!” he snapped, his eyes narrowing on me. “I’m on vacation. I don’t want to be dealing with this right now.”
I sank to my knees in front of him, looking at the ground. His hand instinctively moved into my hair, his grip tightening. The person on the other line was speaking rapidly, but Dallon cut him off roughly.
“Fuck, Roth, I’ve got to go.” He exhaled roughly and tugged my ponytail, tilting my face up to look at him. “What are you doing?”
I swallowed hard at the tone of his voice. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe he wanted to say when. I closed my eyes.
“You’re going to be the death of me,” he whispered.
And you of me.
“Look at me.”
I met his eyes again. He was breathing heavily, his grip tight in my hair. “Is this what you want?”
I licked my lips. There was no turning back now—I’d made the decision as soon as I’d gone on my knees in front of him.
I nodded, still unable to speak.
Dallon made a low groan and released me. I instantly looked back at the ground, my heart thumping for a way out of my chest. Above me, he began loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. I waited with anticipation, my palms wet against my thighs. He put his tie over my head, tightening it around my neck in a swift but gentle motion. It fell between my breasts and ended between my legs.
“You’re giving yourself to me.” It was a statement.
I nodded again.
“Answer me,” he snapped.
“Yes.” I rushed to add, “Sir.”
“Do y
ou mean that?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Good.” His eyes burned into mine. “What we’re going to do is called a session. When we’re in a session, you will remember that you are mine and do what I say. This is not real life. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Sir.”
My mouth was completely dry. I would have given anything for a glass of water, but I was too afraid to ask. I could feel his eyes on me, drinking me in.
“Look at me, Amy. I won’t ask again.”
I lifted my head. His gaze was scorching, assessing me intently, but his eyes softened as he reached out to touch my cheek. When he spoke, his tone was gentler.
“My desire is not to hurt you, but I will if I have to. Understood?”
I nodded. “I understand.”
With a gentle tug on the tie, Dallon instructed me to stand. I did, my legs surprisingly strong. I was ready.
Leading me with the tie, we went into the bedroom, where he placed his beer on the night table, sat on the bed and stood me between his legs. It reminded me of the first time we’d slept together.
