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“Don’t say that. ” His voice was gruff in a way that gave me a shiver. His words had come out snarly and decisive and, well, really manly.
I couldn’t help but turn back to him. “Why do you care if I fail out of here?”
“You won’t fail. Not if you try. ” He stepped closer. He smelled like fresh air, like the sea. For some reason, it made me want to needle him even more. Either that or curl myself close so he could wrap me in those muscular arms
that were hard to ignore beneath the thin fabric of his athletic shirt. “If you try it, you can do it. ”
His voice was stern. A teacher’s voice. Not the voice of anyone who planned on embracing me anytime soon.
“No try, only do . . . that right, Yoda?” The words had spilled out of me like acid. It seemed picking fights was all I was good for these days.
But Ronan didn’t take the bait. Instead, his voice got warmer, kinder. “You can do it, Annelise. You can accomplish any challenge set before you. You’re here for a reason. You’re special. You were chosen. For a reason. ”
His words made my heart swell. I told myself it was just a pep talk, teacher to student.
For one cynical moment, I wondered if he was using his special voice on me. But he’d told me he’d been unable to use persuasion on me without touching me. And when he had touched me, it’d felt warm and strange. No, I’d know if he was using his powers. He’d said something nice, and it’d reassured me. It was as simple as that.
“But you must take it seriously,” he continued. “You can do this. I don’t care why or how. Do it for yourself. Do it to spite your father. Do it for me. For Lilac. But this is serious, Annelise. You must be serious. Failure isn’t tolerated. Failure of any kind. ”
I thought about the girls who’d died. They’d been doing simple things—in the pool, in the gym. Simple, deadly things.
Ronan’s advice was grave, like this was life or death. And I believed it might be.
“Hey, Charity!”
That piercing pep-squad voice brought me back to earth. A knot of girls was clustered around the bars. Many stood, hands on hips, shifting their weight from foot to foot. Waiting. For me.
“Your turn!”
Ronan knelt to tie a shoe that didn’t need tying. “You can do it,” he whispered. “Not everyone is perfect at everything. Do whatever it takes. But you must succeed. ”
I strode to the bar. I can do it.
I’d never managed a pull-up in my life.
Ronan believes I can do it.
I stood beneath the tarnished gray bar, heart hammering in my chest. Lilac was there, and the mysterious Heart Face, too, as well as a growing crowd of curious Acari, slowing to witness the crash.
I’m here for a reason.
My back was to the wall. Though I faced the entire gym, my eyes avoided Ronan. But I felt him. Across the room. Watching.
Failure isn’t tolerated.
“I’ll spot,” a quiet voice said. I thought it might be Heart Face, but I didn’t look to make sure. I couldn’t risk catching anyone’s eye.
It was just a bar, held aloft by two metal poles, each with a metal foothold. I stepped onto the first. Clinging tightly to one side, I hauled myself up, bearing all my weight on the one foothold, a couple of feet off the ground. I acclimated myself, letting the pole cool my damp palms. It had a sour, metallic smell.
Praying my sweaty hand wouldn’t slip, I swung toward the other footrest. I gripped both poles now, spread-eagled over the ground, with the horizontal bar looming over my head. My thighs trembled as I stood there, and my heart beat double time.
I couldn’t do it last time. What would happen if I couldn’t do it again?
But I had to do it. Whatever it took.
Palms away, Josh had said. I sucked in a stabilizing gulp of air. Reaching up, I grasped the bar in my hands. I edged off the footholds and let myself drop. I dangled there for a moment, wishing for a miracle. A miracle where I’d somehow, suddenly become strong. Able.
For a moment, I believed this might happen.
