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“Because you’re so stubborn,” he snapped.
I laughed, thrilled for once to be something other than the weird genius girl. Even if it meant I was the aggravatingly willful one.
He reached for me again, cradling my head in his hand. There was no supernatural burn, just the warmth of a guy’s touch. “I think you’ve spent a lifetime selling yourself short. Don’t underestimate your ability to discern illusion from reality. You, Annelise, are one of the most cunning, one of the bravest young women I’ve ever known. ”
Emotion clutched my throat. For the first time in my life, I felt seen. Understood. Nobody had ever paid attention before. Never had I known such concern. I’d spent my life feeling isolated and alien and friendless. It was a shock to realize how much I’d been wanting someone to care for me. To give a shit.
He tucked my hair behind my ears, and though my body thrummed hot, I shivered. “Now, tell me,” he said. “Do you think you can float?”
I didn’t know what it was about Ronan’s attentions, but he made me feel stronger, like maybe I was a better person than I’d realized. “Yeah, I guess I can do that. ”
He led me into waist-high water, and the wet suit felt strange and heavy, like a wall of cool was pressing in on my body from all around. With an arm around my shoulders, he eased me onto my back. “Relax now. Imagine your belly reaching to the sky. ”
I did relax. A little. Until he let go of me, and my feet plummeted to the bottom.
He righted me at once, patiently bracing his hand along my spine, his strong fingers careful at the nape of my neck. “Again. Unclench yourself. You’ve done it in the pool—this is no different. ”
I’d puckered my lips shut, but water, frigid and briny, still found its way into my mouth. I nodded tightly, grunting in a way I thought sounded very agreeable, considering the circumstances.
“Does that mean you’re ready?”
I tensed, lifting my head in alarm. “I’m not doing it yet?”
He gently pushed my forehead back down again. “I’m going to let go again. ”
The moment he did, my feet dropped like cement blocks to the bottom. Instinctively, I caught myself, coming to a standing position.
“Annelise Drew. ” Ronan’s tone was stern. He lay me back in the water, a little more roughly this time. “It’s not much more than a meter of water. Relax. Breathing helps. ”
“I am breathing,” I said through gritted teeth. I was doing all I could to keep my head above water. But still it gurgled in my ears and up my nose, making me panic.
“No, I don’t think you are. You must let your head drop. ”
“Can’t you use your googly eyes on me? You know, convince me to be a good swimmer or something?”
“You must do this on your own. ”
A wave lapped over my face and I flinched, and Ronan’s hand slipped. Oh, God. Was that Ronan’s hand on my butt? I froze, projecting my mind through the thick fabric of my suit.
That was Ronan’s hand on my butt.
This had the unfortunate effect of petrifying my entire body. I felt my legs drifting down like a couple of dead logs.
Ronan’s calm demeanor finally wavered. “Och, Ann, don’t be such a wretch. ” He sounded impatient, exasperated, and maybe a little amused.
But rather than feeling chastised, I was flooded by a longforgotten memory. It was my mother, calling me Ann. I’d never remembered that before. I could hear her voice so clearly, almost like she was in the water, too, whispering in my ear. It was a gift that warmed me, calmed me.
Nodding, I loosened my neck just a little, finally relaxing. “Okay. On my own. ” I shut my eyes, becoming aware of the gentle lapping sounds of the tide, and it soothed me. Inhaling deeply, I opened them again to the most magnificent sight.
A light was beginning to pulse low on the horizon. It was bright green and swirling, like some childish god had splattered a bucket of lime paint across the sky. I gasped. The aurora borealis.
“You see them? The northern lights?”
“Yeah,” I managed. They humbled me, amazed me, left me speechless.
“Did you know that you’re floating?” Ronan’s white smile glowed eerily in the dark.
I realized then. I no longer felt his hands on me. I giggled, but it made me sink a little and so I stilled, blanking my mind as much as possible. My stomach bobbed back to the top, making me feel like a bit of kelp floating in the sea. The water in my ears, in the corners of my eyes, no longer bothered me.
