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Oh God, Em. It was unthinkable. Was it possible Emma still lived, enduring Alcántara’s tortures?
I needed to go, to find a way into the castle. I wouldn’t rest until I found her. I would find out what happened. I’d save her.
And then I would have my revenge. I’d take Alcántara down.
CHAPTER TWO
By the time I left the gym, I was shaking.
What happened in that hideous castle? What happened to all those girls, each one disappeared from under our noses? I’d wondered before, but now I was obsessed. Never had someone so close to me been taken.
Was she trapped in there, still alive? Were there other girls? What did the vampires do in there? The need to know—to have some image, however morbid, to hold on to in my mind—consumed me.
I tugged off a glove and jammed my hand deep into my coat pocket. Found the handkerchief.
Emma’s handkerchief.
I’d snagged it from her room before they’d cleared out her stuff. It was a simple square of white fabric, one we’d all gotten in our standard-issue kit bags. Not many of us used them—I mean, ew, right?—except for Emma. It’d been just like Prairie Girl to use her hanky all the time. While mine was still folded crisply in my drawer, hers was stained, bearing a rusty brown patch of blood that’d never washed out completely. Blood where she’d wiped her hands after skinning a rabbit on that night we’d been left stranded in the dark to face punishment. We’d faced it together and had been friends ever since.
I took it out and folded it as I walked. Folded and smoothed and refolded. I’d stolen the handkerchief as a memento, but as I put it back in my pocket, it became something else. It was my pact. Pinky swear, Em. If you’re alive, I’ll find you.
Frost was ahead of me on the path, and I watched as she squared her shoulders and slung her small gym duffel over her shoulder. She was headed back to the dorm, and if I wanted to shower before lunch, I’d need to follow her. But I couldn’t bear going straight back to the room, especially not with her. Did she know the secrets of the keep? Did she know the fates of all those girls and yet chose to side with vampires instead?
Our new Initiate housing only made things worse. The dorm was smaller, with a warren of oddly sized rooms that had more the feel of a giant converted house than the first-year Acari dorm had. And how I missed that old dorm now. These new irregular rooms lent a false impression of intimacy to our roommate situation—like we were all sisters sharing rooms in a house instead of strangers forced together by circumstance.
I couldn’t bear to face it. Not just yet.
I stopped abruptly and turned, taking a detour to the boys’ housing. To the castle. I had to see it. If Emma truly were alive, that was where she was probably being held.
Could it really be true? That she might’ve been enduring the vampires’ keep, all this time…My God, Em…It was too much to consider. If she were alive, it meant I’d failed her even more than when I’d let Alcántara slash her down her belly. Because, truly, I couldn’t decide which was the greater horror: to be killed by vampires, or to be imprisoned and kept alive by them.
I walked briskly, picking along the edge of the path, tromping through what remained of last night’s snow. A thin rime had crystallized along its surface, making a satisfying crunch with every step. The January light was weak and gray, and it struck me that my one-year anniversary on the island had come and gone.
So many others had disappeared, and yet here I was, still alive. Cheers to me.
A heaviness beyond grief weighed on my shoulders, and I glanced up. Sure enough, the ancient keep had appeared, looming in the distance. It was a grim scene, several thousand pounds of gray-black stone. What secrets were hidden within? I peered hard, studying every line, every crag and crevice in the facade, like I might’ve perceived answers through the force of my will alone.
A familiar voice startled me from my thoughts. “You’ve got guts, showing up here like this. ”
I spun. It was Yasuo.
I knew that happy, relieved feeling of seeing a friend, but the sensation was instantly cut short by the look of him. So crushed. So pale and bleak.
“Yasuo. ” I realized I’d hoped to run into him. He’d forgive me. We were friends. We needed each other. We’d work through this together. I put on a brave, gentle face, hoping to convince myself—and him—that there was forgiveness to be had. “How are you doing?” I hoped he heard how the words had come from my heart.
“How am I doing?” A smirk contorted his face, and his words came sharp and cold. “How am I doing? Please tell me you didn’t come here to ask how’m I doin’? Because I’ll tell you, Drew. Here’s how I’m doing: I suck. You killed my girlfriend, remember? Or wait. Maybe you don’t, because you’re…too…freaking…self-involved to care about anyone but yourself. ” Hatred glimmered in his eyes. Emma was gone, and he blamed me.
“No, wait,” I blurted. “It’s not like that. I have news. I think—”
“Screw what you think. ” He spun away from me, shutting me out, striding in the direction of the dining hall.
Friends were rare on this rock. I needed Yasuo and I thought he probably needed me, too. Undaunted, I did a quick jog to catch up. “I think there’s a chance she’s still alive,” I said at his back. The words spilled from me in a rush. I needed to get his attention, to convince him there was hope. That I was still a worthy friend before he shut me out forever. “Emma. She was alive, Yas. After the fight. What if she’s still alive?”
He froze utterly, but it wasn’t an I’m-listening kind of pose that he’d assumed; rather, it was more like rage had finally frozen him, crackling him to ice. “She’s not. ”
I refused to believe it. I was desperate. I had sunk my teeth into this new hope and wouldn’t give it up so easily now. “Just hear me out,” I begged. “Audra said something weird. She said they had to tie her—”
“She’s gone. ”
