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The look on his face was pretend bafflement. “What’s that you say?”
“Ronan. Help me up. ” I began to haul myself over and grimaced at a fresh stab of pain. “Please. ”
His hands were under my arms in an instant, lifting me back into the boat. “Jesus, Ann. ”
My wound had really torn back open now, and I crumpled onto the bench, doubled over. “Stop calling me that. ”
“All right, then,” he said stiffly. “Just tell me, what did you do this time?”
“I didn’t do anything. ”
“Take off your suit. ” He placed a gentle hand on my shoulder.
I flinched away. “Ronan. I’m not that kind of girl. ” I chuffed a little laugh, trying to rid myself of the feeling that I might vomit at any moment.
“This is no laughing matter, Annelise. ”
I glanced up. He wasn’t smiling. “How did you know I was bleeding?”
“I’ve seen you burnt, broken, and near death. You’re as stoic as they come. ” He helped me sit up. “Your eyes, they went distant…. I’ve seen it happen but once before. ”
He was referring to my fight with Lilac—that had to be it. Then, I’d longed to get as far from my charred body as I could. “It’s not nearly that bad. ” I blew out a breath, regaining my composure.
“I can tell you’re injured. ”
I sighed. “It’s not that big a deal. ” And it was true—now that I was out of the water, the pain was not as bad, though the wet, salt-soaked suit chafed something terrible.
“Then it won’t be a big deal for you to show me. ”
He was right: It wasn’t a big deal. I wore a swimsuit, the two-piece I always wore under my wetsuit. The top covered me more than a jog bra would. So then why did it feel like a big deal?
“Can’t we just head back?” I hedged.
“Annelise. ” His tone told me that, no, we couldn’t.
“Fine. ” I stretched up to unzip the back, and hissed as the movement tore some other part of my flesh open.
“Stop. ” He snatched my elbow, halting me in midair. “What are you hiding?”
“I’m not hiding anything. ”
“Then show me. ” He waved his hand, ordering me to turn, so he could do my zipper.
I presented him my back, and the next sounds came loudly to me. There was the rip of Velcro, the crisp snick of the chunky, plastic zipper. The thud of my heart in my ears.
I turned back around and pulled my arms free of the suit. It was a single, fluid movement, torquing my body, but I welcomed the pain now. Anything to stop this feeling of hyper-self-awareness.
Before, Ronan had been my teacher and only my teacher. By the time our friendship had deepened, Carden was in the picture.
Carden, who loomed so large in my heart. Hell, he loomed in my bloodstream.
Carden and any breathless thoughts of Ronan were completely mutually exclusive.
But where was Carden now?
I knew where Ronan was. He was right here, helping me. Making my pulse hop in a way that had me woozy. A little woozy and a lot confused.
I still didn’t get why Ronan was here. Or where Carden had gone. Or why he’d gone.
