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He glanced around quickly, ensuring no one was within earshot. It looked like steam might shoot from his ears. “I caution you, Annelise. Do not underestimate the power of those in charge. These little excursions of yours—don’t be fooled. The vampires may not catch everything, but they see more than you think. You’ve been given much latitude, but it’s because you’re one of Alcántara’s greatest amusements. Do not miscalculate the situation. To him, you are merely a toy. A plaything. The days of his patience, tolerance, and I daresay, curiosity will one day come to a close, and the moment Hugo tires of you, the moment he feels you’ve crossed him, he will dispose of you without so much as blinking. ”
He paused to let it sink in, then added more quietly, “Do not forget these things. Keep your vision clear, unclouded by passion. You want revenge, yes. But you must not let rage blind you. Blind rage kills.
”
“Like I killed Toby, you mean?”
He deflated, seeing my pain. “Aye,” he said gently. “Like Toby. ”
The sympathy in his voice was dangerously close to breaking something inside me. To guard against it, I forced some cynical cheer. “They’re all just monsters anyway, right?”
But Ronan didn’t smile at my joke. Rather, he remained serious as ever. “And you must mind that you don’t become like them. You have been reckless”—he put up a hand to stop me before I could grumble, this again?—“reckless with your person, with who you are, and if you don’t stop, then you have become the monster. ”
Me. A monster.
My father’s daughter. Someone who preyed on those weaker than me.
It cut too deeply to contemplate. Too close to my greatest fear. I lashed out. “Is that all you came to tell me?”
There was a beat of tense silence. A shift in mood. The unspoken mutual agreement that we were changing topic.
“I must go away for a while,” he said.
Of course. I was getting all too used to guys going away for a while. I wanted to say, “Not you, too,” but dared not draw a parallel between Ronan and any vampires. I’d learned my lesson by now.
Instead, I forced my voice to sound casual as I asked, “Off island?”
“I have business in the village. For the upcoming festival. Preparations must be overseen. ”
“You’ll come back. ” I didn’t know if it was a question or a statement.
“I will. ” He paused, shifted. I noted a tensing in his jaw. What emotion was he concealing? “You must promise you’ll keep yourself safe in the meantime. ”
I chuffed a little laugh. “Don’t you get tired of looking out for me?” I knew what the answer would be, but still, I needed to hear it. Just then, I longed for support. A friend. It struck me how much I’d come to count on him for that since Carden’s disappearance.
Lately, my vampire hadn’t been here when I needed it, but Ronan had. Ronan spent so much energy concerning himself with what he should do, what was right, while Carden was all about what he wanted to do. And apparently, what he wanted to do didn’t involve me.
“Annelise, I don’t trust that look. You must promise you will avoid trouble. ”
“Check. No recklessness. ” I gave Ronan a smile. Unfortunately, it felt as weak as my promise.
Assassination class was as hideous as I’d feared.
After Alcántara had complimented me on my kill for the umpteenth time, I finally snapped. “I beg your pardon, Master Alcántara,” I said when I sensed my moment to get a word in edgewise. “The thing is, I didn’t mean to kill Toby. ” It felt good to be honest. Ronan’s words had resonated with me—I’d keep hold of who I was, of my humanity. I was the master of my soul.
“Ah, querida, but kill him you did. And in a most magnificent way. ”
I squirmed in my seat. “But killing him wasn’t my intent. ” Not truly. Maybe if I repeated it enough, it’d become truth.
“A boy of the land,” he continued grandly, clearly ignoring me, “a young farmer, killed by an agricultural implement. ” He chuckled, looking tickled.
It infuriated me. Because of me, there’d been more death. And I was being praised for it. He was crediting me with the kill. More, he respected me for it.
“Yeah, the ho used a hoe,” someone said from behind me. Giggles erupted throughout the room.
I whirled around in my seat to glare and couldn’t help noting how the class had thinned even more in the past weeks. Apparently, not everyone was as “successful” at their assignment as I’d been.
Like roots forcing their way into cold earth, my anger—at Alcántara, at this hideous island—twined deeper into my soul. I would not become a monster. The monster Alcántara wanted me to be.
