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I’d already scoped out the best and least steep spot to make my descent. Now that I knew the exact location of the sea gate, I hoped to have an easier time navigating the hillside, picking my way across and down—with an emphasis on down. The tide was at its highest peak, and wetsuit or not, I had no intention of setting foot in that water. A freezing night swim in that black churning sea frightened me more than the vampires’ keep did.
I shed my coat once I reached the cliff’s edge, rolling it into a ball and stashing it by a rock. Would I survive the night to retrieve it, or would some nosy Acari eventually find it instead? Everyone could wave it around and celebrate how tenacious me had finally met my end.
I couldn’t think that way. As low as I’d felt lately, I needed to be positive. To taste success. To imagine it as an inevitable thing.
This is for you, Emma.
And for me, too, I thought. I’d reclaim myself, no matter the risk. And the risk, I knew, was tremendous. It could very well be my last.
Sucking in a deep breath, I looked out into the vastness, taking in the night. The moon was just a tiny crescent hanging low in the sky, and water swept before me, rippling like black satin sheets tucked somewhere beyond the horizon. Ronan had once told me to embrace the darkness, and I saw now what he meant. I felt cloaked in it. One with it. The night was mine.
The darkness was far from complete, though, and it was due to more than merely my improved vision. It was the stars. Millions of them clung here at the edge of the world, spattered across the sky like paint flung from a brush. Magnificent, they stole my breath, as though I’d never even known stars before Eyja næturinnar. The island’s one gift to me.
Or rather, one of its gifts. I would receive something more tonight, only it was something I’d steal: the truth. I would wrest the secret of this island if it took my dying breath to do it.
I was resolved. Time to do this thing.
I did a body check, wriggling my feet, feeling the stars tucked in my boots. I flexed my arms, testing the stakes I’d jammed up the sleeves of my wetsuit…stakes whose ends were carved like so many triangles.
The
cloak I’d stolen was lashed across my chest like armor. I hoped it would be my armor in truth, disguising me enough to get into the castle unsuspected. I needed only enough time to find Alcántara. To take him by surprise. Stake him.
My night from there looked iffy, but I was okay with that. Because I’d be me until the end. Not Alcántara’s creature. Not a dupe in service of vampires.
Starlight hummed on my back as I descended. Confidence and resolve guided my hands and feet. I found holds so easily, it felt like magic. Thank you, Carden. He’d taught me about climbing. Me, his dove with wings of fire.
The thought was a blade, quick and deep, there and rejected just as quickly. I’d be even more than what he’d believed possible—I’d have a heart of fire, too.
I came to a thick shelf of brush. I knew the gate was concealed just below. I shimmied around and down, and then I was there. On the rock plateau.
The porch, I thought with a smile.
I was so close now, and oddly, my heartbeat was slow. My hearing was hollow, my vision focused to a narrow point. This was it, and I was calm.
I pulled the gloves from my hands, wadded them up, and shoved them inside my suit. Twining my fingers around the bars of the gate, I leaned close and held still, holding my breath, opening to the universe to feel if anyone was near. But the tunnel was dark and silent.
It was time to break in.
I had five crude stakes in varying lengths and sizes; two hadn’t been thick enough to carve into a triangle, but I had three possible fits. This gate and its lock were a mystery to me—if one of the stakes actually slid into place, whatever happened next would just have to be a surprise. At this point, I hoped there’d be a surprise. The thought of climbing back up that hill, defeated again, was too much to bear.
I inserted the first triangle and gave it a jiggle. Too small. I told myself no big deal and went to the next one. But the angle on that one was slightly too obtuse. I could use one of my stars to whittle it to size, but I didn’t want to waste the time if I didn’t have to. I willed myself to be calm as I tried the next and final one. It slid in perfectly.
I waited. But nothing happened.
I wiggled the end of the stake. Turned it. I pushed down, pulled up, but still nothing. Panic began to crackle up my back, numbing my fingers and ratcheting up my heartbeat. I felt around the triangle. The fit was snug, but it was in there. I pried and twisted, and all it did was give me a splinter.
My panic began to bleed out into despair. Was this it? I tried to tell myself it was only a temporary setback, that I’d just have to go back to the drawing board. But such things were easy to say and hard to believe.
Despair hardened into frustration. Was I destined to keep failing like this? How was it the damned vampires still managed to get the best of me when they weren’t even around?
Frustration sharpened into anger.
“Dammit. ” I slammed the side of my fist onto the butt of the stake. “Damn you. ” Then I hit it again, harder. I’d curse all I wanted now—I didn’t care. I cursed and hit. “Damn damn damn all of—”
There was a sharp click.
“Crap!” I jumped about a foot in the air as the medallion sprang apart.
