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‘No!’ Beth interrupted her, her voice expressionless. ‘I don’t wish to see him just yet.’
‘Very well. I suppose I shall have to tell him that.’ There was disapproval on the nurse’s face as she left the room, but Beth didn’t care what she thought. She didn’t want to see David yet, didn’t want to remember that last ugly scene they’d had just before…
She closed her eyes, breathing slowly and deeply to combat the knifing pain in her chest at the memory of what had transpired between them. She couldn’t cope with that now on top of the shock of losing the baby. It was too much to bear. Maybe later, when she felt strong emotionally, she would see him and speak to him without breaking down, but not right now.
‘Beth.’ His voice was low and soft, but she jumped as though he had shouted across the silence. The colour drained from her face as she looked towards the door and saw him standing just inside the room. Strain had etched deep lines into his face and shadowed his grey eyes with fatigue, but he looked so achingly familiar that she could have wept.
‘Go away, David. I don’t want to speak to you just now.’
‘But I want to speak to you, Beth.’ He let the door swing to, his face settling into lines of determination as he walked over to the bed and stared down at her. ‘Why did you refuse to see me, Beth?’
Beth looked away, pulling herself up against the pillows before pushing her hair back with a shaking hand, feeling all the emotions just the sight of him aroused. This was what she’d been so desperate to avoid, this sharp, deep pain on top of the other pain about the loss of her baby, and now she wasn’t sure if she could cope.
He swore softly, sitting down on the side of the bed to take her cold hand between both of his and smooth the trembling fingers. ‘I’m sorry, Beth. I know it’s not enough, but if I could turn back the clock and stop what happened then I would!’
There was such anguish in his deep voice that she turned at once to look at him. ‘It was an accident, David. Just one of those horrible things that happen.’ Tears shimmered in her eyes and she blinked to hold them at bay, more affected by his grief than she cared to admit.
‘It didn’t just happen. You were running away because of me! Because of all those cruel things I said to you. If I hadn’t said what I did then the baby would…’ He stood up abruptly and walked over to the window to stare out across the car park, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. ‘There is no way I can ever make up to you what I’ve done, Beth. I don’t blame you if you hate me.’
‘I don’t hate you, David. I…’ She broke off, wondering what to say, how to tell him that hate was the very last emotion she could ever feel for him. It hadn’t been hatred that had made her pack her bags and run that day, but fear of the hurt he could inflict on her. She’d been hurt so badly by Andrew’s betrayal, but if she was honest then she had to face the fact that what David had said about their marriage being a mistake had hurt her far more.
‘What? Tell me, Beth. We have to clear this up once and for all.’ He swung round to face her, straightening as though ready to face any objections she might make. ‘Maybe I am being unreasonable at present in view of what’s happened, but I’m not prepared to let this go on festering. I want it sorted out here and now.’
She shook her head. ‘Nothing. It doesn’t matter now. It’s better that we forget all about what’s gone on. Once I’m on my feet again I’ll collect my things and then you can put me and everything that’s happened out of your mind.’
‘I have no intention of doing that.’ He came back to the bed, his face stern and uncompromising as he stared harshly down at her. ‘Are you trying to tell me that you still intend to leave me, Beth?’
‘Naturally. It was what I was doing that day…’ She broke off, swallowing hard, then drew in a breath as she fought for control. ‘You said yourself that this marriage was a mistake, David. Let’s end it here and now and be done with the whole farce. After all, the main reason why you married me no longer exists.’ Her hand smoothed over her stomach in an unconscious little gesture and she looked away, missing the pain which crossed his face.
