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She glanced up at him curiously, then felt a shiver run through her as she caught the fleeting expression of sadness which crossed his face. He seemed to collect himself all of a sudden, his face smoothing into its customary lines which betrayed little of what he was thinking.
‘Just an impulse. You looked so shocked that I reacted without thinking about it. I had the feeling that you were about to keel over at any moment.’
‘I nearly did. I never… Andrew never…’ She took a slow, painful breath. ‘I never suspected that he was married. I feel such a fool now and so…well, so guilty!’
‘Why? You weren’t to know. He went to great lengths to stop you from finding out, presumably. You aren’t guilty of anything, Beth.’
‘No? I’m pregnant. That’s hardly something to celebrate in the circumstances!’
‘Yes, you’re pregnant, but why? Because you fell in love and this child is the result of that love. You can’t blame yourself for that.’
‘Maybe not, but I should have been more careful. I did try taking the Pill, but it made me feel so sick, and Andrew said that he would take care of…’ She broke off abruptly, staring down at the pool of coffee in the saucer, wondering why she was telling him such things.
He swore softly, his hand closing over hers for a moment before he let it go just as abruptly. ‘Men like Andrew should be made to take the consequences for their actions, but they always get away with it one way or another. What are you going to do now? Are you going to have the baby, Beth?’
She looked up with shock in her eyes. ‘Of course! I couldn’t get rid of it. I couldn’t live with myself if I did that.’
‘Then how are you going to manage? I assume Andrew knows nothing about the child, so are you going to try and contact him again?’
‘No!’ She shook her head then smoothed the silky strands of hair back from her face. Her hair was very fine, curling and waving past her shoulders in baby-soft tendrils. She always wore it drawn into a knot and now that it was loose it seemed to move and float with every slight turn of her head. ‘I only found out about the baby two days ago myself—found out for definite, that is. I’d had my suspicions for a couple of weeks, but I said nothing to Andrew. Not that he’s been around much recently.’ She smiled bitterly. ‘It took me all my time to make him agree to meet me today, but I should have known better than to…’ She broke off, swallowing hard against the lump of pain. ‘I was going to tell him today, but there’s no point now. It will achieve nothing, only cause more upset to his wife and family, and that’s the last thing I want to do!’
‘But he should be made to pay towards the child’s support. Think this through sensibly, Beth, before you make any decisions you could come to regret. Babies are expensive. You are going to need every penny you can get to support this child.’
‘You sound as though you speak from experience.’ She gave a brittle little laugh which held scant humour. He was right, but there was no way she was going begging to Andrew for a penny after what he’d done. She would take care of the child herself…she would!
‘Some… A…friend of mine found herself in much the same position as you, and I know how hard she struggled to make ends meet at times.’
There it was again, that fleeting hint of some bitter memory, but Beth had her own problems without going into his. ‘I don’t intend to ask him for a penny! I shall manage. I have a good job and somewhere to live. Hundreds of women have less than me and manage to survive.’
‘You have no friends or family who can help you?’
‘No. My mother died a few years ago and there’s no one else, no sisters or brothers. As for friends…’ She shrugged. ‘I haven’t lived in London long, just over a year, in fact. The friends I’ve made aren’t close enough to turn to now.’ She gave a sad little laugh. ‘I didn’t really seem to need any close friends once I’d met Andrew, if you want the truth. And as for the ones I left behind when I moved, well, they have their own lives, their own problems; I can’t suddenly turn up on their doorsteps and burden them with mine. I shall cope.’
