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"She's a slayer."
"She's human. She can die."
"Everyone dies."
"I don't. This is about me. Everyone wants something from me. They want me dead or they want to take what's in me. Blue was like a mother to me. I thought of her like that. She was my mother. My own mom died. Did someone do that? Did Blue do that? Did she really die in a car accident? Is Kates really my best friend? Maybe Lucan sent her to me too. And you? Are you who you say you are? Do you actually love me? Or is this all a strategy too?"
A part of me cringed as I heard the hysteria in my voice, but another part of me shut down. I felt myself growing numb. I couldn't handle any more deception, any more lies. Where was the truth? I couldn't find it anymore. I couldn't feel it.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
"Shut up."
"What?" I turned.
Roane had an annoyed look in his eyes and he shook his head. "Shut up."
Excuse me?"
"You're not that girl anymore. You're not naïve. You're not being sheltered. And you're in no way being fooled by anyone. Yes, I kept some things from you, but did you really want to know any of that? You knew I had to do things to protect you. You knew Lucan got away. What did you think I was going to do? What did you think about Blue? You knew she's been lying to you and you did nothing."
My mouth fell open.
Roane poured himself a drink, his shoulders tense. "You wanted a hiatus away from this world. I gave that to you. I dealt with the things you didn't want to think about. And your best friend signed up for this gig. She wanted to spy on Blue. She wanted to find Lucan. Unlike you, Kates won't sit back and let things happen to you. She wants to help stop it. Your best friend was looking out for you."
I was about to argue when someone knocked on the door. Both of us turned, but when Gregory looked inside the concern was evident on his face. Roane set aside his glass. "What is it?"
The Viking vampire's eyes darted between us. "We've encountered a scout."
The air in the room shifted. Roane was no longer annoyed. Gregory seemed apologetic and I was stupefied. Roane was out the door before I could think anything else. "I need to deal with this. We'll talk tonight."
The door closed on the last of his message. Okay, it slammed. And I was the irritated one now. Always keeping stuff from me. Before there had been an incoming of Roane warriors, now there was a scout. It all meant the same thing, something that I hadn't had the time to share. The Roane army was close. When I'd zapped in and out from Tracey, my senses knew that they were close. I'd heard the university's tower bell chime in the distance, but I'd been distracted by Talia's ghost and the bag.
A part of me wanted to zap myself to follow Roane, but he would've sensed me. It didn't matter. Lucas didn't want me there and I couldn't do anything to raise further suspicion. So I perused my bedroom once again, but alone this time. The bed was enormous. That wasn't surprising. Roane kept the best for those closest to him and a goliath-sized bed didn't shock me anymore. The silk sheets, the chiffon curtains. All of it set the mood. The image of me with Roane entangled together on those sheets popped in my head. It was so vivid, I had to take a breath and cool down.
"Whatcha thinking, best friend?" Kates drawled. She was propped against the doorframe.
I rolled my eyes and looked for the bathroom. "I'm thinking that it's going to get ugly real soon."
Kates narrowed her eyes and straightened. "You're different. Why are you different?"
Because I was sick and tired of the lies. And because Roane was right. I had no one else to blame. I'd wanted to turn a blind eye. I hadn't wanted to deal with a lot of things. My best friend was one of them and I knew her better than anyone.
"So." I took a deep breath and sat on the bed. When I raised my eyes, I went inside of her. Kates could feel me, but I didn't care. I wanted her to be uncomfortable. "Are you on his side?"
Her green eyes went wide. "What are you talking about?"
"You know."
"I don't."
I knew she was trying to shake me out. It didn't work. "You went to Lucan. You're back. Whose side are you on?"
"Are you kidding me?"
"I think you might be kidding us. You still love Lucan. It's why you went to him. I know it. You know it. I'm not sure if Lucas remembers it. Did you come back to work for him now?"
We stared at each other. Neither of us blinked.
