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“I’m not finished. I will marry Lucia because she is my choice. I came here to reason with you, but I can see now that that’s pointless. The things you’ve just said has proven to me once and for all that it would never work.”
“What will never work?” For the first time in my life I think she was actually listening to me. Was it the calmness in my voice, or the fact that I was rebuffing her for the first time?
“You and my wife living under the same roof.”
I gave her a minute to let that sink in. I’d ignored her actions for a very long time. I’d watched her drive dad away with her coldness. Treat other people as if they were less than human. And use our money and position to bully anyone who didn’t go her way. Now I see that even her only son wasn’t exempt.
Her only care was for wealth and prestige and showing a good face to her high society friends. Fuck that. I didn’t fight for other people’s right to be happy just so I could condemn myself to a life of misery to please her.
“I don’t think I quite get your meaning.” Not only was there venom in her tone now, but her face had changed from the soft grandmotherly façade she usually wore, to something dark. Something I was sure many people had seen just before she annihilated them.
“I’m waiting, what exactly are you trying to say son? That you will go against your mother, against the family for some stray? What exactly does she have to offer? Other than what’s between her thighs? What is it with the Sullivan men and your taste for classless trash?”
Now that her true face had been exposed she was no longer even pretending civility. The mask was off and I could finally see the disdain and contempt. Had she always hated men? Dad had tried warning me once but I’d brushed him off.
I’d always thought that their problems were theirs to deal with and I’d stayed out of it, never choosing sides. Maybe that was wrong, I never agreed with dad having extra marital affairs, but I never liked the way she treated him or me for that matter.
Mom has always been distant, locked off somehow. I’d never seen her any other way so it was just never a thing. I’d seen her way of mothering as the norm, because I didn’t know any different.
I’d been raised by nannies until I was old enough to take care of myself, that much is true, but so had many of my peers. I never saw much difference between my childhood and theirs.
So when dad tried to tell me years ago that my mother was a cold unfeeling woman who loved nothing and no one, I thought it was just marital sour grapes. Now I see the truth in her face.
“I mean mother, that the Sullivan name is mine to bestow on whomever I choose and I choose to give it to Lucia. I mean that since you have such contempt for my future wife, I can see that it wouldn’t do to have you both living under the same roof and since this is my home, passed down to the first son from generation to generation you’ll have to leave.” She opened her mouth to answer and I saw the calculating light in her eyes before she spoke.
“Don’t even try to convince me that you’ll change, I know you won’t. I should’ve listened to dad.” I was mad at her, at the waste. She could’ve done so much more with what she had over the years. Instead she’d used all her resources to beat down everyone she found lacking. Anyone who didn’t live up to her ideals, which now that I think about it was fucking crap.
“What has he got to do with it?”
“He tried to warn me about you years ago before he died, but I didn’t listen.” More fool I.
If it were only for myself I would’ve gone the rest of my life without having this conversation. It’s not like I didn’t know some of what she is, but I know that when it comes to keeping out what our society deems undesirables, she leads the pack.
I should’ve taken her to task when she drove my best friend’s wife to her end, with her constant put downs and her encouragement of others in their horrid treatment of that poor girl. But I won’t be that lax now. Not when it comes to Lucia.
“You can’t be serious. I’m sure this base behavior stems from your association with that… child. I will have no more of it. She and her family will be gone by tomorrow.”
“No they won’t. In case you forget, you have no say in how I run my household. I thank you for overseeing things all these years, but now that I am to marry, my wife will see to such things in the future. I suggest you move into the apartment in town. It will be perfect for you. You’ll be closer to your friends and all the stores and restaurants you like are right there.”
