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That innocence came to the forefront now when she stopped me by pulling on my hair. I knew from the look in her eyes that there was something on her mind. “What is it?”
“You… you’ve done this before, what if….” My usually fiery angel was too shy to say what was on her mind, but I knew what it was she wanted. I took my fingers away from her and sat up, pulling her onto my lap. Her unasked question needed to be handled delicately.
I’d long suspected that for all her brashness when it comes to arguing with me, that she was indeed an innocent when it came to matters of the flesh. “Yes, it’s true. I’ve had other lovers where you’ve had none. I can’t go back and erase my past, but I can promise you that you’ll be my last. Now tell me, is there something else bothering you?”
I had to lift her chin to get her to answer me. “You can ask me anything Lucia, no matter what, I’ll always hear you. I might not always agree, but you have a voice with me always. Now tell me.” This must be really bad because she looked physically uncomfortable.
“Well, there is this one other thing.” The way she scrunched her shoulders into her ears showed the difficulty she was having and I braced myself for what came next.
Was something wrong with her, was she suffering from some illness that I knew nothing about? What was it that she found so hard to say out loud? It doesn’t matter, whatever it is I’ll take care of it.
“Go on.” I squeezed her side and then took her hand to encourage her. She looked at me as if trying to read my eyes before looking away again and my apprehension grew. Please don’t let anything be wrong. I couldn’t bear it if she were hurt.
“It’s… it’s something that was said, about your family, your parents. Um… it’s well known that your dad had an affair. That he had a mistress for a very long time. I just…” I visibly relaxed and released the pent up breath I’d been holding.
“I will always put you first Lucia, never doubt it. If I wanted to live that kind of life, I would choose not to marry. I don’t understand all of what happened between my parents. Their marriage was arranged by my grandparents. Maybe there was no love there. I don’t know so I won’t speak on it. I can only tell you, that your heart, your happiness, is as important to me as my own. I will not hurt you for the world.”
She threw her arms around my neck, her little body shaking. I had no idea she even knew about that stuff, or that it had been plaguing her all this time. I’ll have to remember in the future to prod her just in case she was hiding any other fears from me.
I kept her there, talking to her softly, reassuring her of my love. I finally got her to laugh by announcing that after the hell I’d gone through to make us a reality there was no way in hell I would ever risk her love. I was humbled to realize that I meant every word. That I wasn’t just paying lip service to make her happy.
No one can ever know what the future holds, but I felt sure in giving her that promise. “I can’t imagine ever not wanting you. Not looking at your beautiful face and being thankful that you’re mine.” I kissed her pert nose and ran my finger down her chin.
“What if I get fat?” Her melancholy had passed thankfully and she was back to being playful “Then I’ll just have to buy you bigger clothes.”
“Ha, you say that now, but what if…”
“Lucia, I expect you to become very fat about six months after our wedding. That’s about the time my son or daughter will be showing, I think. And since I plan on making your belly swell every chance I get, I suppose you’ll be fat for at least the first ten years of our marriage.”
Her mouth hung open in surprise. “How many kids are we talking here, Mr. Sullivan?”
“Let’s see, nine months for the kid to cook in there, I’ll give you two weeks to heal. That should work out to about ten kids if we’re lucky.”
“You’re insane.”
“No, I’m in love. I can’t think of a better way to show that love than to give you my seed. You’re getting off easy, Bridget had fifteen kids. All who lived to adulthood which in those days was no small feat.”
“You’re pulling my leg.”
“Nope, you’ll see once you start going through all those old papers.” Her eyes lit up and she looked ready to jump off my lap and get to it now.
