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Molly could feel the tension swirling around them and swallowed the sudden knot in her throat. She knew what was happening and had a very good idea what Sean was thinking too. Would he act upon these feelings that filled the air? Would he take her in his arms and make love to her, because that was where this was leading? But was it what she wanted, really wanted, when she knew in her heart that it could only end in yet more heartache? At the end of the day, it wouldn’t change anything. He would still be in love with Claire, no matter what they did tonight.
The thought brought her back down to earth with a bump. Pushing his hand away, she stood up. It was hard to control her emotions but she refused to make a fool of herself again. Maybe she did want him to make love to her but she couldn’t bear the thought of how she would feel afterwards. When he left Dalverston and left her.
‘I think it’s time you went, don’t you?’ she said, hearing the strain in her voice but unable to do anything about it.
‘Yes.’ He put the makeshift compress on the table and took a deep breath. ‘I’m sorry, Molly—’
‘Don’t!’ Molly gave a sharp downward thrust of her hand, unable to deal with the thought of him apologising for what had so nearly happened. It would take very little to change her mind and that was something she mustn’t do. Until Sean was free of the past then he wouldn’t be free to love her or any other woman.
He didn’t say anything more as he turned and walked down the hall. Molly followed him out, pausing when he stopped and turned to face her. There was such sadness in his eyes that her heart ached but she couldn’t afford to weaken. What it came down to was one simple fact: Sean could never love her while he was in love with someone else.
‘I think it’s probably best if we forget about tomorrow.’ He gave her a quick grin but it was for show rather than a true expression of his feelings. That he was as upset as she was wasn’t in any doubt and Molly’s aching heart ached all the more. ‘I shall muddle through and master that wretched cooker somehow.’
‘You will. It’s not exactly rocket science, is it?’ Molly did her best to play her part in the proceedings; however, the catch in her voice somewhat spoiled her efforts.
‘It isn’t.’ He gave a small shrug then started to open the door before he suddenly swung back to face her. ‘I wish things could be different, Molly. Really I do!’
Molly had no time to react when he pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Maybe she should have pushed him away, remonstrated with him, done something to show it wasn’t what she wanted, but she was incapable of doing anything at that moment. His lips clung to hers, demanding a response she was powerless to refuse. The kiss might have lasted seconds or hours—she had no idea which it was—but she was trembling when Sean let her go. He didn’t say a word as he opened the front door, didn’t look back as he got into his car and drove away, but she understood. If he had spoken to her or looked at her then he couldn’t have left. He would have had to stay.
Molly was trembling as she closed the door and went and sat down on the stairs. She could tell herself until the moon turned blue that she was glad she hadn’t let him make love to her tonight but it would be a lie. She knew that and, what was more, Sean knew it too.
CHAPTER TWELVE
THE NEXT COUPLE of weeks passed in a blur. Sean offered to work extra shifts whenever they were short-staffed and managed to fill up his time to the exclusion of everything else. He did fit in some Christmas shopping on a rare day off, buying presents for his parents as well as some chocolates for the rest of the team in A&E, but that was the full extent of his preparations. Christmas and New Year were always difficult times; they brought it home to him how different his life might have been if Claire hadn’t died, although, strangely, he found it less painful this year. The thought that he was moving on, and that it had a lot to do with how he felt about Molly, filled him with guilt.
Although he saw Molly most days in work, he had the distinct impression that she was going out of her way to avoid him. Although they lived only a short distance apart, he never ever bumped into her in the street. He hadn’t even seen her driving into work, which struck him as very odd, seeing as they must have driven along the same route. When the thought occurred to him that she might be spending more time with Adam Humphreys, possibly even sleeping at Humphreys’ house, it didn’t exactly fill Sean with cheer. The sooner his stint at Dalverston was over, the better!
