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"Come on, Marzia. At least try to make this fucking hard for me..."
She cries, ripping her arm out of my embrace and keeps running. But she seems to have realized she'll never get away from me, and her pace slows down enough for me to stroll after her leisurely.
"This is your lesson," I tell her. "You can never escape me, never outrun me. Wherever you go, I'll be looking over your shoulder, waiting to claim what's mine. No matter how fast you run, no matter how well you hide, you're mine now, Marzia. And I'll never let you go."
We've reached the edge of the forest now. The tall pine trees have thick trunks here.
I can see her hiding behind one, foolishly thinking she can escape me this way. I play with her like a cat with a mouse, allowing her to slip through my fingers and pretending I don't see her, but the moment she tries to take off again, I grab her wrist and pull her trembling, naked body against mine. "Just where the fuck do you think you're going, Marzia?" I whisper darkly against her lips. "I told you. I'm never, fucking ever, letting you go."
She lets out a whimper as I force her arm behind her back, holding her in a grip she can't possibly escape. Hot tears of humiliation roll down her cheeks and it's as if she gives up in that second, her body sagging against mine.
My strong hold on her tightens just so I can keep her upright. If I didn't, she'd collapse on the ground before me. All the fight's gone out of her.
She's meek now. Obedient. At least for now.
14
Marzia
As Adrian brings me back into the house, I go completely numb. Perhaps if I can't feel anything physically, the pain in my mind will fade, too.
I'm caught between conflicting emotions, not knowing who to trust and what to believe. Adrian and the Bernardis are painting my family as the bad guys, but were my parents really the monsters Adrian believed them to be? They've kept me safe my entire life. Yes, they limited what I could and could not do, but at least no one tried to kill me while I was still at our house, which is more than I can say for Adrian's place. Bruno Bernardi still seems dead-set on killing me. In fact, I don't know what Adrian's been doing to keep him away from me.
I don't say a word as Adrian drags me back home. My body is not cooperating anymore and neither is my mind. My thoughts swim with everything that's happened over the past week. My parents being murdered in cold blood by Bruno, Adrian bringing me here only to abandon me soon after. My bottom teeth chatter, the cold biting into my skin as Adrian carries me back to my bedroom. When the first cry rips itself from my lips, even I'm surprised. I don't want to cry in front of Adrian, feeling the shame of letting myself be vulnerable before him biting me like an ice-cold chill. But I can't resist it. My body crumples as I start to sob.
Adrian seems to realize I need some time alone. He puts me in the bed and carefully brushes the hair off my face with his fingers.
I stare up into his eyes accusingly, hating that he doesn't seem any more lenient than he was before.
"I had to do that," he tells me.
"You keep telling yourself that, Adrian."
"Watch that mouth, you don't want to get punished again."
"I don't care anymore." I flop on my back in exasperation. "I don't even care what happens to me anymore."
He stands, gazing at me for a long time before leaving the room.
The door clicks shut softly behind him, and I mourn all the words between us that we left unspoken. A moment later, I hear the click of the lock, smirking to myself.
I must never forget I am Adrian's prisoner.
He could never love me.
And I can never let myself love him.
Days pass, but I barely even notice the change of day into night outside my room. I'm numb, detached. I'm barely alive anymore and my heart has given up at the same time my mind has. I don't see a way out of the Bernardi Estate anymore…I know I'll never be free again. Adrian won't leave me alone again. Now I have a guard aside from Eleanora and I get no time to myself. The stronzo even waits outside the bathroom while I pee.
The three days Eleanora and I are left without food. I barely even notice the pain of being hungry. I'm so distracted, so far away, the pangs of hunger in my stomach feels like they belong to a different person.
Still, amidst all the drama of the past few days, no one has suspected Eleanora left the door open on purpose. Even I don't know the truth, but when she shoves another letter into my hands a few days later, I realize she has kept her secret. My brother and Vitto write to me of the vengeance they hope to seek against the Bernardi family. I reply half-heartedly, scribbling the few sentences, I feel like I have to send back, and watch listlessly for the next letter.
