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My hands trace the shape of his muscles, wanting him to push inside me.
Wanting him more than ever.
But he knows something’s not right.
He knows this isn’t perfect.
I know he’s perfect. All of him is, all of this…
It’s just.
“What is it, Rachel?” he asks me tenderly. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
I feel stupid suddenly.
The wild woman’s gone, replaced with an awkward, thick girl who wants to cry again.
“I’m a virgin,” I cry. No other way to say it really.
No other way to explain what I probably should’ve mentioned before we started.
“Sorry,” I blub, feeling foolish. Thinking he’ll probably have me call my dad pretty damn quick now.
Come get the girl who’s trying to be a woman out of my house.
But he doesn’t do that.
That’s not what Conor Fox is all about.
Chapter Ten
Conor
If there was any way she could be any more perfect, it’s not what I would ever have thought.
I repeat the word, but only because I feel my luck for the third time today.
First I got Valentine back, then I got Rachel and now she’s telling me I’ll be her first?
It doesn’t get any better than this.
But why is she so upset about it? Why is she so down on herself?
“Rachel, I don’t think you understand,” I explain, brushing her hair back from her face with my fingers, kissing her nose.
“You see? This means you’ll be mine for real. A hundred percent, and I’ll be yours,” I tell her, not really helping but only noticing her confused expression.
“I’ll be your first and you’re my only, not just now but forever,” I explain, feeling my own arousal still, but more relief than I could ever have given myself.
Knowing I can wait if that’s what she wants, but just knowing she’ll be mine.
“I am yours,” she says with a little more certainty. “I want to give myself to you, Conor, I really do,” she says again, but there’s that look again.
That face.
“But?” I ask, looking down at her, trying to meet her eyes.
I know what she’s thinking. Not just about giving herself to me, an older guy. She’s thinking about her dad, about having to move, and the million other things she had to worry about before she met me today.
Before I showed her something else, a new way of feeling.
“Will you just hold me?” she asks, shivering.
Moving myself up onto the couch, I lay us both down, and grabbing the blanket behind her head, I spread it out over both of us.
I feel her shifting under me, rolling on her side. I’m the big spoon and she’s the little spoon.
My hands curl up under her chin as she holds them with hers, kissing them lightly and thanking me.
Her rear end presses up against my hardness, which we both know has a life of its own, but even that’s reassuring for her.
Pressing back against me a little, making both of us give a little sound of pleasure as we feel each other skin on skin. Her softness against my hardness.
Two spoons, a matching pair. Same because we’re so different.
“You don’t mind?” she asks sleepily after a while, sounding sweeter than she tastes, I kiss the back of her neck.
“How could I mind? I ask her. “I’ve got everything I need right here,” I tell her, relaxing fully once I feel her sigh with relief, melting into me as we both close our eyes.
I don’t know how long it takes, but her hands eventually relax and her breathing becomes slow and deep.
She’s asleep, and I’m wondering if I’ll ever sleep again. Not wanting to miss another second of this life as long as she’s in it with me.
It’s not long though before this exquisite peace is interrupted.
I feel it behind me, slowly creeping up before it’s like hot, damp air on the back of my own neck.
“I thought I told you to stay,” I murmur, chuckling softly when I hear him make a sound of protest.
“Alright, boy,” I whisper, hearing Valentine settle down on the rug beside the couch once he’s given me a sloppy kiss of his own.
I wonder how he’ll get on, not being the total center of attention. But I can already tell that can work both ways because I already know how much attention he’s gonna want to give Rachel over me.
I saw how she was with him today. I know he found her all on his own and brought her back here.
It makes me smile, to think I could double down and come up winning for once. The two most important things to me, here under my own roof, having felt and experienced everything we have so far.
And it’s only been one day.
I eventually hear both of them breathing, making little sleep noises with Rachel pressing back into me every now and then.
I can feel the little smile on her face, and leaning over to see it I kiss her cheek.
