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What a pity I walked out on him a few hours ago because we’re moving tomorrow.
If I don’t do something, I’ll never know.
I’ll never know what could have been between Conor and me, and I’ll only ever get my dad’s side of how thighs panned out between the two of them, even if I do get up the courage to ask him.
But what to do?
I’m stuck here now, waiting for the movers and I feel like I need Conor more than ever.
So much for distracting myself so I could get over him.
I’m shaking like a leaf, but I don’t care what happens now. I need him like air.
I dial his number on the house phone once I realize I haven’t charged my cell, my heart in my throat as I listen to each dial tone until it cuts out.
I call again and then once more.
Either he’s out or just not answering his phone.
Shaking my head, I know this is crazy. I’m gonna be public enemy number one with my dad and there’ll be hell to pay.
But I can’t just sit here and do nothing.
Sorry dad, I really am. I’ll try and explain it all to you soon.
Kissing the photo I have of him and Conor, I slip it into my jacket and head back out after tacking a note to the front door for the movers.
It’ll take some walking, but I know the way this time.
Even though it’s still cold out and snowing now, I don’t mind at all. It almost feels like walking home somehow.
Chapter Sixteen
Conor
“Valentine, Valentine!” I call louder. Stopping myself when I hear the rising anger in my voice. I’ve never been mad at him for a second in his whole life.
If I start shouting now it’ll only scare him.
It’s not his fault I messed things up like this. I’m not even mad at him.
I’m mad at myself.
At my own stupidity.
“Valentine, C’mon boy,” I call out again. The friendly, regular call that always sees him come running.
It’s three for three now.
And this time, before I even have time to feel the stab of panic or worry, I know he’s gone. He really is gone this time.
I just feel it. The house feels suddenly empty.
I feel empty, knowing somehow that even before I took a shower or called for him he was already gone.
This whole business with Rachel has him as messed up as I am, he can pick up on how I’m feeling.
Swiftly moving from floor to floor and checking the back yard then the front, I even check the cellar which is always locked.
I walk to the edge of the driveway, go a little way up the street.
Nothing. It’s like the whole world feels emptier without him nearby, and worse than before somehow.
For the first time in years, I feel truly alone. I could have lived with it back then, but since Valentine came into my life and now since having that one magical night with Rachel, it’s not an option to continue without both of them.
There’s only one place I can think of he’s gone. Only one person he’d seek out that wasn’t me.
And in a single, sweet moment I understand what he’s given me.
I hope that’s what he’s up to. It’s the only thing that would make sense.
The best chance at action I couldn’t come up with myself. Valentine’s given me the perfect reason to go to Rachel, to tell her what I should have yesterday, and also to get my dog back.
The flashing thought of having to confront her father doesn’t phase me anymore.
The thought of Rachel never coming back here, let alone to the same city is unthinkable.
It’s only taken me a few moments and the events from this morning to make me see what I really want, no matter what.
I’ll go to her, and I’ll tell her everything. Right after we find Valentine and I claim her as my woman, and in that order.
Grabbing my keys from the rack, I have to decide between Mustang or Dodge before pulling the door to the garage closed behind me.
Bringing Valentine and Rachel home, I’ll need the Dodge. Valentine takes up just as much room in the Mustang as I do.
Punching Rachel’s address into the GPS from memory, I pull out of the garage and grip the wheel as I wait for the gates to slide open.
I feel like flooring it, to get to her as fast as I can, but I also need to keep my eyes peeled for Valentine.
A part of me still expects him to come trotting out from behind a bush any second, that sly grin on his face yet again.
It’s started to snow too, which doesn’t make looking for him any easier as I cruise the neighborhood the streets closest to my house first.
I can’t see him anywhere, and after a while, it’s clear I won’t even if he’s in plain sight.
