Lukain breaks into a hearty laugh, resting his hands on his hips. “Can you imaginethosetwo? A giant oak tree and a spindly reed . . . with the same size branch for both.”
“The mind can wander,” I murmur, my body growing heated as Lukain and I draw closer together.
“Would be quite a sight.”
“Best not dwell on it toolong.” I bob my brow like an idiot, slap Lukain’s shoulder. “Come on, you incorrigible grayskin. I’ve got a thick tree you can climb. It’s hiding in my bedroom.”
“Oh?” Lukain feigns surprise, turning to join me to my living quarters. “Sparring session’s canceled!” he yells into the training room as we pass. To me, he smiles sharply. “You growing flora in your bedroom now, little grimmer? Master Antones might not approve.”
I let out a guffaw and punch him one last time in the arm as we recede down the dark hall. “Then we’d best not tell Father Ant, ass.”
Chapter 43
Sephania
I’m ashamed it’s taken this long for me to notice. I was busy bouncing my ass on Lukain’s lap, rolling around in the sheets with Skar for hours on end, learning about Rirth’s love affair with Palacia, and sifting through correspondences from the field with Antones, and, and, and.
My excuses are endless. The truth comes out late that evening, after I’ve finished with Lukain and drained him dry in my room. I escape toward the hot springs again, Lukain clinging to me like a lost pup.
In the eating chamber, where a handful of Grimsons are loitering, I ask if anyone has seen Imis. I’d like to talk more about the demon connection she discovered in Delmarn.
The lad Filgy, a skinny whelp I’ve seen gaze at Imis with wide eyes, blushes and clears his throat. I’m pretty sure he has a crush on the much-older woman. I’m also pretty sure he has a crush on every single Chained Sister, so this isn’t a profound realization.
“She ain’t here, Mistress Lock. Ain’t been for a while.”
His voice is loud and pure, which makes him the perfect crier for the Firehold. He loves making announcements, but this one makes my stomach tumble.
I slant my head, keeping my worry down. “How long is ‘a while,’ Filgy?”
“Erm, well,” he scratches his cheek, “a whilecan be any length of time between—”
“I mean how long has she been missing, boy!”
“Three days!” he squeaks.
The hole in my stomach widens, swallowing up everything around it. My face goes pale and I turn to Lukain with a sharp intake of breath.
He sees the concern splashed across me like cold water and his face contorts from its playful mischievousness of the past hour to a stern, stupidly attractive facade. “Maybe she got bored of the Firehold again? She left during the schism between Rirth and Antones the first time, no?”
I shake my head. “There’s no schism now though, Lukain. She’s got nowhere to go—hasn’t been in Nuhav for years before this!”
The muscles in his jaw flex. He nods firmly. “Let’s find her then, little grimmer.”
Yes, I am certainly ashamed it’s taken me this long to notice my friend was missing. And she’s been missing since I last spoke to her in this very room, on her way out.
I put Garroway on the case, shifting his purview from liaising between the gangs on the surface to scouting for any sign of Imis.
“It makes no sense she’d run away,” I tell him. My fingers fidget uselessly in front of my belly, and I’ve started worrying my bottom lip again.
“Agreed, lass.” His knee bounces. We’re together in a small meeting cave, off to the side of the sparring chamber. I’m pacing, he’s sitting. “I’ll find her.”
“Please do.” There’s a weak plea in my voice. “I can’t have anything happen to Im, Garro. Not when she’s just returned.”And not when she has so much information we could find useful.I hate to think that last part, but it’s true. She’s an asset,and if she wasn’t, maybe I wouldn’t feel so deeply about this. Imis would be just another lost soul to our cause.
It’s a harsh example of my corruption, and of the dark way I’ve started to see the world. Yes, intimate moments with Lukain and Skar—and bright gatherings with Rirth and Palacia—can shift my thinking in a more positive way. I can become empathetic and kind. Those moments are fleeting, however, quickly replaced with the dour skepticism and cynicism that’s come to haunt me for too long.
Sometimes I wonder how any of these men can love me at all.
Garroway stands. He brings me into his arms, embracing me tightly, and shushes me when my chin starts to tremble. “I know people, love. I’ll bring Vallan too. He’s an excellent tracker. If anyone can find her, it’s us.”
