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"This card" - she pointed to the center of three - "is the six of cups. You returned to your childhood home. "
No kidding. Anyone would hear that if they meandered into Lake Bluff for more than a minute.
Edana flicked her gaze to my face, frowned as if she'd heard my thoughts, then returned to studying the cards.
"This is the knight of cups. You were longing for love. "
I coughed. Not. I'd been longing for -
I wasn't sure. Safety? A home? Certainly not love. I needed love like I needed Balthazar on my back.
I'd never really considered a home or a family because I'd been running so fast toward my goal. Sure, I no longer wanted to be Barbara Walters Jr. , but I still hadn't given any thought to
the home or the family most women craved because I'd been stuck in my past, focused on what had happened instead of dreaming of what might.
In truth, I'd been deliberately avoiding the thought of settling down, remembering the tales of my mother's unhappiness, her need to be forever somewhere else.
I'd felt the same wanderlust in Atlanta and feared I was more like her than I wanted to be, that I'd never be happy anywhere, doing anything.
But now that I'd come home and begun to feel that this was home, I saw that what I'd really wanted was to be out of Atlanta. Despite my belief that the big city was the place for me, it never had been and never could be.
A home and family sounded nice. I was sick of being alone.
"We move on to the present. " Edana's hand slid to the three cards that lay in the center. "The fool. "
"Terrific," I muttered, wondering if she was going to give me a lecture on the mistake I'd made by trusting Mal, by letting him touch me - if not for my own sake, then his.
"This is a good card," Edana continued. "New beginnings. Hope. Throw caution to the winds and enjoy your journey. "
That didn't sound like me.
"Eight of wands," she continued. "Everything is about to change. Surprises, good and bad, await you around every corner. Expect the unexpected. "
I'd never been very good at that. I liked my life orderly; I did better with a plan. Which might be why I was so on edge lately. Every plan I'd ever had was gone.
"The moon," Edana continued.
I glanced at the card, which showed the moon in various stages - full, crescent, gibbous, and one I couldn't figure out. The moon was round and flame red, as if something had exploded on impact.
"What's that?" I pointed.
"Hidden moon," she said, "a
very special time. "
I wanted to ask what the hidden moon was, but she didn't give me the chance. "The moon changes nightly. It is full of mystery and power. When you look at it, you long for what you can never have. "
"Me personally or just a general 'you'?" I couldn't remember looking at the moon very much at all. Even during the festival there'd always been so many other things to do.
"This card indicates. . . " She closed her eyes, then allowed her palm to hover above the surface of the card, not touching it at all. "Dishonesty, infamy. " Her eyes opened and for an instant the lantern reflected in their depths, a fiery dot of flame. "Madness," she whispered.
"Great. "
Edana shook herself as if coming out of the water. "The future," she continued, moving her finger to the third row. "Death. "
"Again?"
"Not necessarily literal death. " She tilted her head as if listening. "Though it can be. The death card indicates an end, cutting ties, moving on. Something familiar will go out of your life. "
