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‘No, it’s not.’
She turned a page. ‘It’s just a description of place. Mountains and a cottage built against a cliff. Bleating sheep and growling dogs, a crackling fire and some smoke-blackened posts. Sounds ominous.’
‘In Russian, Anastasia.’
‘You are so right. Why is it that things always sound better in Russian?’
‘It’s your mother tongue; it’s comforting. You’ve heard it since the womb.’
‘My mother has a beautiful speaking voice,’ she said, by way of a distraction. ‘You’ll fall in love with it. People do.’
‘You didn’t fall far from that tree, did you?’
‘I am taking that compliment and basking in it.’
‘Good,’ he murmured. ‘Read.’
She closed her eyes and began to speak.
‘You missed the birth. Not that I blame you. I’d have missed it too if I could because it was brutal. And then my baby was born and she was so beautiful and I fell in love all over again in a different way. And I thanked God for her and for bringing you into my life.’
She felt Cas stroking her hair and it soothed her and helped her speak again. ‘I got up. Every morning I got up and I studied and took every bit of help my parents offered and I built us a life and I vowed to never regret what happened between us. I want to love like that again. I know I can. But it’s never quite right with anyone else. And then you come back, offering everything and nothing. A fairy tale life when all I’ve ever wanted was your love. And for all your fine lovemaking, you’ve never offered that.’
She stopped speaking and turned the page, tried to read what was written there, and then Casimir’s hand curled around the book and closed it as he dropped it on the ground beside her.
‘Marrying you makes a lot of sense, I know that. I just don’t know if I can do it and not get lost in you again,’ she whispered, and then he was kissing her, slotting his mouth against hers and blotting out the sky. He gave as much as he took and he took everything she had and she thought she tasted tears and maybe they were hers.
It was minutes, maybe years, before he released her and lay back down again with his eyes closed.
‘We need to leave soon.’ His fingers traced the back of her hand before entwining with hers. His eyes were still closed and his voice was still rough. ‘Best we return before dark.’
‘Well, we wouldn’t want Tomas the falconer to have to send out the owls.’ Ana tried for humour and managed stupidity instead.
‘You’re right,’ he said as he got to his feet and held out his hand to haul her up. ‘I’d never hear the end of it.’
* * *
Casimir excused himself when they got back to the fortress. He made calls he’d been putting off all day and then sat down to work on his speech for tomorrow. He called Rudolpho in to help and if the older man knew Casimir’s request as nothing more than a futile need to control events he couldn’t control he made no mention of it. He simply loaded Casimir up with work and sat alongside him and worked his own way through a share of it.
Six p.m. came and went. Lor delivered their dinner on trays.
‘You’re different around Anastasia Douglas,’ Rudolpho said as they ate. ‘Less rigid. More relaxed.’
‘Sometimes,’ Casimir said. More often than not he was a mess.
‘Why?’
Good question. Somehow she made him feel lighter. As if the responsibilities he shouldered could potentially be shared. ‘I don’t know why. She’s always had that effect.’ He studied the older man’s expression but could read nothing from it. ‘Ana brings humour and strength to adversity. And brutal honesty, she brings that too. I like being around her. I can loosen my own reins, and know that she can more than hold her own. What do you even call that?’
‘A gift,’ said Rudolpho.
‘I haven’t treated her well in the past.’ Understatement.
‘Then I trust you’ll treat her with more care this time.’
‘That’s it? That’s all the advice you have for me on the matter?’
‘I’m not a dating advice column.’
Good to see Rudolpho taking Cas’s command to speak up so much to heart.
