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CHAPTER SEVEN
“THE BABY LOOKS HEALTHY. The pregnancy is progressing just fine.” The obstetrician’s smiling face looked between them questioningly. “Do you want to know whether it’s a boy or a girl?”
Sitting on the examination chair of the sleekly modern medical clinic, Ruby exclaimed, “Yes!” at the same moment Ares said firmly, “No.”
Dr. Green’s rosy expression didn’t change as she held the ultrasound wand over Ruby’s belly. “Well, which?”
“Of course we want to know.” Ruby frowned at Ares. “Why wouldn’t we want to know?”
Ares looked back at her, feeling a little sick. He’d never imagined taking her to the doctor could be so difficult. His shoulders were tight, his hands clenched at his sides. He felt painfully tense. And he wasn’t even the patient. All he’d done was sit beside her. And learn about the pregnancy.
He didn’t want to know if the baby was a boy or a girl. It was bad enough that he’d already been forced to hear the heartbeat. So rapid, so real. He didn’t want this child made more real to him. Not when he knew that his only connection after the birth would involve his DNA and his money.
But he could hardly explain that to Ruby. Or even fully explain to himself why it was bothering him so much. His body was reacting as if he were under attack.
“I want to know if it’s a boy or girl,” Ruby said.
Ares blinked. “I…would rather be surprised.”
“How about Dr. Green just tells me? I’ll keep it a secret from you, I promise!”
Ruby looked so hopeful. Ares glanced at the doctor, hoping she would smooth things over. Dr. Green, who was no fool, just smiled. “I’ll leave you two to discuss it.”
But as the doctor rose to her feet, Ares knew that he didn’t want to be left alone to discuss it with Ruby. “Fine. Have it your way.”
Ruby’s beautiful face filled with delight. “Really?”
He had to find out sometime, didn’t he? His jaw clenched. “Might as well get it over with.” He looked at Dr. Green. “Go ahead.”
The doctor paused, looking between them. “Very well.” Then she sat back down in front of the ultrasound screen. Pointing out lines and shapes that seemed like a blur, she beamed at them. “Congratulations. You’re having a girl.”
A girl.
With those words, against his will, Ares could picture a child—a little girl with her mother’s big dark eyes and kind heart. So young. So fragile. He would need to protect her, as he protected her mother. He’d teach her to be strong. To fight. And most of all, how to lead. It would be necessary when someday she would take over his company and…
Ares stopped the thought cold. He thought he had anything to teach a child? He thought he could actually have the character, the experience, to make a good father?
Nice joke, he mocked himself cruelly.
Once the doctor left them, as Ruby started to change out of the patient gown and back into her black dress, Ares turned and fled the exam room door, racing down the end of the hall like a competitive sprinter.
Once he was out of the medical clinic, out into the hot, humid August afternoon, he took a deep breath, leaning forward with his hands against his knees. People hurried past him on the sidewalk, staring at him, giving him wide berth. He felt dizzy, his heart pounding.
Ares thought a visit to the doctor’s office would make him feel more in control of their future. He was accustomed to being in charge of everything and everyone. He was accustomed to barking orders that the people around him, whether they worked for him or not, trembled and obeyed.
But he could not control this. Ruby had conceived his child, and when the baby was born, she would return to Star Valley, and he’d rarely see them. He would teach his daughter nothing. He would not protect her, except financially. His daughter would grow up knowing Ares only as a distant figure who paid the bills. Ruby would fall in love with another man someday and marry him. That unknown man, whoever he might be, would be his daughter’s real father. And Ruby’s husband for life.
The thought made him sick. But he could not change it. He’d be no good as a husband or father. Those roles involved qualities he did not have, like the ability to love, and to put his wife’s and child’s needs ahead of his own.
