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He was still awake when Katerina came in. "You left the party early," she complained.
"I didn't want to get drunk. "
She pulled up the skirt of her dress.
He was astonished. He stared at her body, outlined by the light from the streetlamps, the long curves of her thighs and the fair curls. He was aroused and confused. "What are you doing?" he said.
"Coming to bed, of course. "
"Not here. "
She kicked off her shoes. "What are you talking about? We're married. "
"Just so that you can collect your allowance. "
"Still, you deserve something in return. " She lay on the bed and kissed his mouth with the smell of vodka on her breath.
He could not help the desire that rose within him, making him flush with passion and shame. All the same he managed to say a choked: "No. "
She took his hand and pulled it to her breast. Against his will he caressed her, gently squeezing the soft flesh, his fingertips finding her nipple through the coarse fabric of her dress. "You see?" she said. "You want to. "
The note of triumph angered him. "Of course I want to," he said. "I've loved you since the day I first saw you. But you love Lev. "
"Oh, why do you always think about Lev?"
"It's a habit I got into when he was small and vulnerable. "
"Well, he's a big man now, and he doesn't care two kopeks for you, or for me. He took your passport, your ticket, and your money, and left us with nothing except his baby. "
She was right, Lev had always been selfish. "But you don't love your family because they're kind and considerate. You love them because they're your family. "
"Oh, give yourself a treat," she said with irritation. "You're joining the army tomorrow. You don't want to die regretting that you didn't fuck me when you had the chance. "
He was powerfully tempted. Even though she was half-drunk, her body was warm and inviting beside him. Was he not entitled to one night of bliss?
She ran her hand up his leg and grasped his stiff penis. "Come on, you've married me, you might as well take what you're entitled to. "
And that was the problem, he thought. She did not love him. She was offering herself in payment for what he had done. It was prostitution. He felt insulted to the point of anger, and the fact that he longed to give in only made the feeling worse.
She began to rub his penis up and down. Furious and inflamed, he pushed her away. The shove was rougher than he really intended, and she fell off the bed.
She cried out in surprise and pain.
He had not meant it to happen, but he was too angry to apologize.
For several long moments she lay on the floor, weeping and cursing at the same time. He resisted the temptation to help her. She struggled to her feet, staggering from the vodka. "You pig!" she said. "How can you be so cruel?" She straightened her dress, covering her beautiful legs. "What sort of wedding night is this for a girl-to be kicked out of her husband's bed?"
Grigori was stung by her words, but he lay still and said nothing.
"I never thought you could be so hard-hearted," she raved. "Go to hell! Go to hell!" She picked up her shoes, flung open the door, and stormed out of the room.
Grigori felt utterly miserable. On his last day as a civilian he had quarreled with the woman he adored. If he died in battle now, he would die unhappy. What a rotten world, he thought; what a lousy life.
He went to the door to close it. As he did so, he heard Katerina in the next room, speaking with forced gaiety. "Grigori can't get it up-too drunk!" she said. "Give me some more vodka and let's have another dance!"
He slammed the door and threw himself on the bed.
{III}
