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Fitz did not want to be labeled an impractical dreamer, so he quickly said: "Of course we do. Still, the question of a woman's place touches the heart of family life, something I should have thought dear to Conservatives. "
Bonar Law said: "The issue is still open. Members of Parliament have a free vote. They will follow their consciences. "
Fitz nodded submissively, and Silverman began speaking of the mutinous French army.
Fitz remained quiet for the rest of the dinner. He found it ominous that this bill had the support of both Ethel Leckwith and Perceval Jones. There was a dangerous possibility that it might pass. He thought Conservatives should defend traditional values, and not be swayed by short-term vote-winning considerations; but he had seen clearly that Bonar Law did not feel the same, and Fitz had not wanted to show himself out of step. The result was that he was ashamed of himself for not being completely honest, a feeling he hated.
He left Lord Silverman's house immediately after Bonar Law. He returned home and went upstairs immediately. He took off his dress coat, put on a silk dressing gown, and went to Bea's room.
He found her sitting up in bed with a cup of tea. He could see that she had been crying, but she had put a little powder on her face and dressed in a flowered nightdress and a pink knitted bed jacket with puffed sleeves. He asked her how she was feeling.
"I am devastated," she said. "Andrei is all that is left of my family. "
"I know. " Both her parents were dead and she had no other close relatives. "It's worrying-but he will probably pull through. "
She put down her cup and saucer. "I have been thinking very hard, Fitz. "
That was an unusual thing for her to say.
"Please hold my hand," she said.
He took her left hand in both of his. She looked pretty, and despite the sad topic of conversation, he felt a stirring of desire. He could feel her rings, a diamond engagement ring and a gold wedding band. He had an urge to put her hand in his mouth and bite the fleshy part at the base of the thumb.
She said: "I want you to take me to Russia. "
He was so startled that he dropped her hand. "What?"
"Don't refuse yet-think about it," she said. "You'll say it's dangerous-I know that. All the same there are hundreds of British people in Russia right now: diplomats at the embassy, businessmen, army officers and soldiers at our military missions there, journalists, and others. "
"What about Boy?"
"I hate to leave him, but Nurse Jones is excellent, Hermia is devoted to him, and Maud can be relied upon to make sensible decisions in a crisis. "
"We would need visas. . . "
"You could have a word in the right ear. My goodness, you've just dined with at least one member of the cabinet. "
She was right. "The Foreign Office would probably ask me to write a report on the trip-especially as we'll be traveling through the countryside, where our diplomats rarely venture. "
She took his hand again. "My only living relative is severely wounded and may di
e. I must see him. Please, Fitz. I'm begging you. "
The truth was that Fitz was not as reluctant as she assumed. His perception of what was dangerous had been altered by the trenches. After all, most people survived an artillery barrage. A trip to Russia, though hazardous, was nothing by comparison. All the same he hesitated. "I understand your desire," he said. "Let me make some inquiries. "
She took that for consent. "Oh, thank you!" she said.
"Don't thank me yet. Let me find out how practicable this is. "
"All right," she said, but he could see that she was already assuming the outcome.
He stood up. "I must get ready for bed," he said, and went to the door.
"When you've put on your nightclothes. . . please come back. I want you to hold me. "
Fitz smiled. "Of course," he said.
{III}
