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‘Did she teach you the language?’
‘Only a few words and phrases—I only stayed with them for a year—but I learned to love the sound of it. Russian is a beautiful language.’
‘Why did you only stay with them for a year?’
‘They had a baby of their own so I had to move out.’
‘What? Because they had a baby?’
‘The baby needed a nursery. I had the only spare room.’
There was that dispassionate tone again—the tone that sliced through his skin and into his core. ‘Stupid me thought they were going to adopt me.’ She sighed deeply, then rolled onto her side again and snuggled back into him. ‘Can we stop talking about this now? I’m tired and I need to get some sleep.’
Nico knew he should heed her request and drop the subject. Rosa’s past was none of his business. He had got what he wanted. He had proved they were compatible in bed—hell, compatible was an understatement. Together they were spectacular.
Now she belonged to him and no one else. He could share her brain, her wit and her body. Everything else was superfluous.
And yet...
‘What about your brother?’ he asked. He couldn’t let the matter drop. The need to find some light for her was becoming of the utmost importance. Please, let there be some light. ‘Have you met him? How old is he?’
‘He’s twenty.’ Quickly Nico did the maths. Rosa’s brother had been born just two years after she had been abandoned. ‘He called to let me know our mother had died—he’d found the letter I gave her with my contact details on it.’
‘That was good of him.’
‘He called after the funeral. Out of courtesy. I’ve only had contact with him once since. Now, can I please go to sleep?’
Nico’s hands balled into fists even as he kissed the top of her head and wished her a reluctant goodnight.
There was still so much he wanted to know.
How did a child go through what she had been through and grow up to be such a good person? There was nothing in Rosa’s personality to hint at her traumatic childhood and adolescence.
Or was there?
Maybe the clues were there if you searched hard enough.
She was personable. Everyone liked her. But could anyone say they knew her? Really knew her? He suspected the answer to that was no. Rosa did not have a single close friend.
No wonder she had jumped at the idea of marrying him. She had been effectively alone since early childhood—and what was it she had said to him when they were scribbling their marriage contract? ‘This will suit me perfectly. I’ve always liked the idea of being part of a couple—well, being part of a unit—but...’ There she had shrugged, her nose wrinkling. ‘The rest of it...no, thank you. My head is private.’
Nico had thought he understood what she could not articulate. They were two of a kind. Emotional intimacy repulsed them both.
Now he wondered if it really did repulse her, or if it were just a barrier she had erected to protect herself.
What had changed? Why did she want to leave a marriage that gave her everything she needed without having to put up with the nonsense she didn’t want?
The answer became obvious.
Rosa wanted more. She had said so herself the day she’d asked for a divorce. He had simply misinterpreted it.
He had spent two days and nights making love to her, blithely unaware of the emotional damage she had sustained.
His stupid pride had been so injured when she’d had the temerity to sleep with another man, that not once had he properly considered why she had ricocheted back into her ex-boyfriend’s arms. He had assumed her loneliness was of a sexual kind.
A roll of nausea swelled in his stomach, beads of perspiration breaking out on his forehead.
He pulled her closer. She felt so good in his arms. Better than he could ever have imagined.
But Rosa needed something he could never give her. She needed someone to love her.
If they’d had this conversation before—even two days ago—he would never have made love to her.
He had married her believing she had the same emotional deficiency as himself.
He could not have got it more wrong if he had tried.
He expelled a shuddering breath.
‘Are you okay?’ she said into his chest, her voice thick with sleep.
‘Everything is fine.’ He traced his fingers lightly across her back. ‘Get some sleep.’
That was the first lie he had ever told her. Everything was not fine.
Nico was incapable of returning love. He was incapable of reciprocating emotion. This deficiency on his part had already caused one woman real pain. He would not allow it to damage Rosa too. She deserved—hell, she needed—so much more than he could ever give.
