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Out of all of us, AM was in the best mood. While she wasn’t bad at putting the brave face on, I didn’t get the sense that she was full of tension. It was like she’d made up her mind to do something and regardless of the outcome, she was at peace with herself. I made a conscious effort to relax and swung an arm around her shoulders to let her know she wasn’t alone.
“I love you, you know.”
She smiled up at me, face as beautiful and shining as any star. “I know.”
At the door of the party house, AM marched right up the steps and I was right behind her. One of the residents, Lance, I think, was wearing a t-shirt that said “Choking Hazard” and an arrow pointing downward. He placed his hand on my arm as I followed AM inside.
“Hey, man, we don’t want any trouble tonight.”
I looked at his hand and then at him, incredulously. “You don’t take your hand off my arm, and we’ll see what kind of choking hazard your cock makes as I stuff it in your mouth.”
Lance jumped back and raised his hands in surrender. “Just saying. Blood’s a bitch of a stain.”
“Then you better not let things get out of hand,” I warned, brushing by him. Unsurprisingly, Lance didn’t stop me again, nor did his roommate, who was manning the shot table. Unwritten rules required a toll to get into the back parts of the house where the party and the other liquor was. I caught up with AM and laid a fifty down before she could pull out any cash. “For all of us.” I gestured to the group behind me. He started to pour us all shots, but I shook my head no.
“Speak for yourself, soldier boy,” Ellie said, muscling me out of the way. “I’ll drink his and mine,” she informed the bartender. He finished pouring the shots for Ellie, AM, Sasha, and Brian. Ellie downed one, and then picked up another and gave it to AM. “For courage.”
“For fun,” AM responded and tipped her head back to swallow the alcohol. She coughed a bit and pounded her chest. “That stuff is vile.”
A commotion sounded behind us, and I turned to see the entire Woodlands crew tromping inside, even Finn. All tall, big, and muscled, the group of five looked suitably intimidating. Lance moved out the way without even attempting to give a warning. Reaching into my wallet, I pulled out another fifty and threw it on the table. “We’ll take the bottle.” The guy handed it over wordlessly, and I waved everyone through.
“Why are they all here?” AM hissed at me.
“They like a good party?” I said innocently.
She made a face at me and said, “This is my show.”
“I know, Sunshine, but we want to make sure the response at the end of the show is appropriate.”
“Whatever that means.” She frowned.
“It means that sometimes a show of force can prevent actual fatalities or injuries down the road.”
“It’s not just that there might be an opportunity for a brawl?” she said skeptically.
“That, too,” I admitted. You can’t instantly change every instinct honed from a young age.
AM had picked the right night to go out. The back rooms of the party house were packed with people spilling out onto the deck to enjoy the fresh air. Relief from midterms, I guessed. Wall-to-wall bodies filled the makeshift dance floor, and someone was spinning beats in the corner. At AM’s signal, Noah and I walked over to the DJ corner and told them to cut the music. I might have included a few threats about broken fingers and equipment. My reputation for having a short fuse and a heavy fist caused them to cut the music without any bloodshed. Noah, standing by my side, looked faintly disappointed.
“Sorry. I promised AM I’d try to keep the hospital bills down,” I said.
Noah just shrugged, and we walked back to the front of the room, where AM had climbed onto a table.
“You know what she’s planning?” Noah whispered.
“Nope. I’m just here to catch her.” And hold her, comfort her, and beat the shit out of anyone who made her cry.
Gray came up to stand on my left and the rest of the boys from the Woodlands fanned out in a semicircle in front of the table.
The chatter of the crowd quieted, and I heard whispers spread like a wildfire. A flash went off, and I raised my hand instinctively to shield myself.
“What the hell, Ellie?” I asked.
“You look like you’re AM’s big bad security detail.” She tucked her phone in her back pocket and mimicked our stance—folded arms, feet hip-width apart, and the grim look. “You’re only missing the suits and earpieces.”
When AM didn’t move and the music didn’t spin back up, the crowd began to shift restlessly. AM cleared her throat. “I’m AnnMarie West, a sophomore and economics major. I have a three point eight-five GPA. Professor Quinlan gave me a B in her literature class. I didn’t profess enough love for Pride and Prejudice, I guess.” At this, a few people in the crowd laughed. This must be a well-known quirk.
“You may also have heard of me from your friend or study group partner or intramural teammate as Typhoid Mary or the Lacrostitute.”
This statement led to titters, clucking of tongues, and snapping of fingers, but few laughs.
“I’m not really sure who started the rumor that I slept with the lacrosse team, but it become Central College canon before the end of my freshman year. It shouldn’t be a surprise to most of you that the rumor wasn’t true. I mean, when would I have time to do the whole team? Am I right?” She held out both hands, palms up to the crowd.
The whispers started to crescendo.
“The truth is that yes, I slept with a lacrosse player in a drunken stupor about a month after I came to Central.”
“Erik Trenton,” someone shouted. I turned around and looked back into the crowd to see who had spoken. I saw a couple of hands point to the top of dark head. Visually marking the guy’s red t-shirt, I whispered to Noah, “One hundred fifty pounds, about five foot nine, dark hair, red t-shirt. About eight o’clock.” Noah nodded and slipped into the crowd. Seconds later, I heard a thud and scuffle of feet. I presumed Noah had cuffed the guy on the head, covered his mouth, and was now taking him out back.
AM continued, her voice rising in volume. “I don’t remember much about it other than it wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be. It was my first time, you see. And then, I didn’t have sex with another guy from Central after that, especially not Clay Howard the Third. He tried to feel me up, but I turned him down. I didn’t want him. So in retaliation, he and his buddies and the rest of you started spreading rumors about me. You posted about it to the Central College bulletin board. You tweeted and Facebooked about it. I had to shut my Facebook page down because of it.” She paused and looked around the crowd. I could see her start to breathe more rapidly and worried that she’d break down, which I knew she’d hate. I took a step forward but AM stayed me with her hand. I dropped back and she continued.
“You wrote on my door, you called me names. But none of it was true. And even if I’d slept with ten guys or a hundred guys, what goddamned business is it of yours? At first, I thought I’d just ignore it, but I couldn’t. For some reason, because you guys have nothing better to do, you thought it would be fun to make me a pariah. Spreading rumors about me having a venereal disease. Telling all your buddies how easy I was. Some of you guys even lied that you had bagged me, but we both know the truth. You haven’t been within a foot of my body. And maybe no one else’s.”
AM took a deep calming breath and this time, no one tittered, laughed, or whispered. The entire crowd was spellbound by her words, by their own guilt, by their shitty actions.
You don’t know how strong she really is. I could hear Ellie’s voice repeating her admonishment. And she was right; I didn’t. I had faced down my dad. My fears. But AM was facing down her peers, people she saw daily, people she might work with, people she went to class with and would have school projects with.
That took some kind of bravery. My heart swelled with admiration for her.
“Goddamn,” I heard Finn mutter next to me.
“Times a hundred,” said Gray. Both of them were transfixed as AM laid out the hypocrisy of the entire crowd like a hunter doing a field dressing on a deer he’s just killed.
“But I woke up and realized that I’m going to be here for another two years, and I deserve to have the same damn good time on campus as I’ve been having off of it. So I’m here to tell you that you’re all full of shit. Guys, you’re constantly running girls down for not putting out and when they do? You call them names. Is it any wonder you have to work so hard to get laid?” Her voice was mocking. The previous signs of nervousness had been completely banished.
“And girls, what the fuck? Why aren’t you supporting your girlfriends? So she wants to get laid and you call her a slut and whisper behind her back? Who cares if she sleeps with one guy or fifty? Does it make her any less of the girl who’ll help you with your homework, spot you money for a formal, lend you clothes from her fucking closet? Why are you judging her based on the number of men who’ve stuck a penis in her instead of all the other things she does for you? Grow the fuck up and start treating each other with some goddamn respect.”
With that, AM jumped down and headed straight for me. Though she tried to hide it, I could see she was trembling with adrenaline—but not fear. Nope, AM wasn’t afraid. She was just high on hormones.
Her speech might not make a big change on campus, but it’d be something these people would never forget. Never.
“Will you punch me if I tell you I that I’m totally in love with your girlfriend right now?” Gray muttered.
“Ordinarily, yes, but tonight, I’m giving you a pass.” How could you not be turned on by the Valkyrie that was AM? This was a girl who wouldn’t be put down by anything. She’d always fight, not only for herself, but for you and anyone in her circle. The natural, animalistic response was to claim her because this woman would make the best wife, the best mother, the best partner.
I didn’t take a step forward like I wanted to. I waited until she’d come to me so everyone else could see the steel in her spine, but once she was within the circle of my arms, I couldn’t resist telling the room silently that I’d spread the black plague on them if they said one negative word tonight. I hugged AM tightly to me and allowed her to lead us out of the party house, and the rest of the Woodlands guys falling in step behind us like they were the palace guard.
Ellie met AM outside the door of the back room and gave her a huge hug. “I want to be you when I grow up.” Ryan, too, hugged AM and said she was an inspiration. As we walked through, hands reached out to pat AM. Murmurs of apologies and “preach it” were littered along her path. And with each step, I felt her trembling lessen, her steps become more firm, and her bearing more erect. Whatever changed or didn’t at Central was of little consequence. AM would shape her own destiny with her beautiful, strong hands.
Chapter Thirty-One
BO
CENTRAL CHANGED FOR AM AFTER that night. Not everyone, of course. There were always going to be assholes, no matter what. But the next day at biology class, the room gave her a standing ovation as she walked in, and that seemed to embarrass her as much as the cruel whispers. She hid her face in my chest until the clapping died down. Professor Godwin frowned the entire time. We spent the weekend on campus, eating in the café and hanging out in the library and commons. It was incredibly boring and the food was bad.
“Promise me that we don’t ever have to do this again,” I said to her after eating some meat plate surprise. AM nodded her head in vigorous agreement. Apparently the wilted lettuce and defrosted vegetables from the salad bar weren’t doing it for her, either.
Besides the food, however, was the dismal existence of the lacrosse club. While Clay Howard never approached while I was around, I couldn’t be with AM every second of the day. At some point, Howard would corner her, and he’d want his piece of flesh in repayment for the humiliation that both of us had dealt to him—AM with her words and me with my fists.
He was a loose end that needed to be taken care of and in a way that would ensure he was never a part of AM’s life again.
“DID YOU GET IT?”
Gray nodded grimly and held out a little vial with three pills. Mal, with all his connections, had helped Gray with this part of the plan. “It’s too fucking easy to get these, and they aren’t even very expensive. We outta shut that down.”
“How many?”
“Enough so that when Campus Security gets the tip about the pot, the marijuana plants will seem like a nuisance charge.”
“How will you get that stuff back?”
“After the charges are brought and the club dechartered, Mal and I will raid Campus Security, take back the pills, and destroy them. Campus Police stores everything in their office, which has a back door access and zero video surveillance. We cased it yesterday.”
