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Goddammit. Would he just shut the hell up and put in our order. “With the entrée,” I said impatiently.
"With the soup, please," she replied with a soft smile, trying to make up for me being an asshole, I suppose.
Winter elbowed me in the side, but I didn’t flinch, too busy glaring at the waiter who refused to get a fucking clue. He stood, half bent over, as if Winter were going to give him her phone number. Hello, asshole, I’m sitting right next to her.
“She said with the soup,” I repeated loudly. Was I going to have to starting mauling Winter in front of him so he’d stop staring at her like a stupid cow?
He finally shuffled away, and I turned to Winter to finish confessing. Before I could open my mouth, though, she said, “I know what you're going to say, and you don't need to explain."
"I don't?" I blinked. Had Ivy said something?
"Yes, it's in the past, and there's no reason for us to spend time dwelling on the past. It didn't involve you and me and it won't affect us in the future."
That…tha
t was incredibly generous and maybe entirely too optimistic, but if she thought it wouldn't affect us then why should I spend any mental energy on it?
I made one more stab at it so she knew I was truly sorry. "You know that I drank with Ivy. I never did drugs with her, but I definitely drank."
Winter's lips pressed together, and then she blew out a stream of air. "I know, but she's clean. You're clearly not an alcoholic. In AA, the person in recovery has to make amends, and in Al-Anon, you have to learn how to accept that. I don't see how either of us can move beyond the past if we don't learn a little forgiveness."
I marveled at her capacity for forgiveness then. Would I have been so accepting if Winter had screwed, say, my cousin Callum and gotten pregnant with their baby? I don't think so. I think I would've been angry and turned her away.
Hadn't I still been judging my mom for everything she'd done while excusing my old man? Part of me did feel like she killed him. It wasn't rational. He killed himself through years of bad eating and refusing to ever see a doctor. That his wife had an affair with his brother hadn't killed him. It was fucking bad timing is what it was.
"You're pretty amazing, Winter." I reached over and cupped her head. She felt so fragile and delicate in my big hands. Her silky hair caught on my callouses, and her soft skin took on a very attractive reddish hue after I'd rubbed my stubble all over it.
I didn't want to hurt this tender girl in any way. I was beginning to realize how vital she was to my life. The urge to prove myself to her was becoming important. I lowered my head and sipped from her lips, sucking lightly and inhaling all the sweetness she so unselfishly offered. Behind me I heard the coughing of the waiter, but I ignored him because food wasn't remotely more interesting than kissing Winter.
Unfortunately she heard him and drew back. Her lips looked satisfyingly red, and her eyelids had a sleepy look to them. I hid a smirk and gave the waiter a short nod of gratitude for delivering our food.
"Anything else you need?"
"No." The sharp denial sent him on his way.
"I hope you're leaving a big tip for that guy," she whispered before shoving a big spoonful of potato soup into her mouth.
"Twenty percent," I said and then revised it immediately at her glare. "Thirty, I meant thirty percent."
"I'm surprised you didn't palm my boob when he took our order."
"Oh, you knew about that, did you?" I laughed.
"You were a little obvious. I'm pretty sure he was being nice, and there wasn't any need for you to exert your dominance."
"I could have peed on you. You should be admiring my restraint," I replied cutting into my steak.
She rolled her eyes. "If you ever pee on me, that's probably the last time we'll see each other."
"Noted. No golden showers for Winter."
She shuddered and then held up an index finger. "I forgot to tell you that I'm going to be apprenticing full time with Tucker now."
"Is that because of Ivy's situation?" I asked carefully.
She started to immediately deny it but then pushed her bowl away and turned toward me. "At first, I suppose it was, but I think it's something I've wanted to do for a while, and Ivy's situation just gave me the kick in the butt. And you, of course," she added as an afterthought.
"Of course," I replied dryly.
