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Uncertainly, I looked up at the apartment Ivy and I shared. If Finn and I were going to be something then I had to have the two most important people in my life be in the same room at the same time. And if he was going to fall back in love with Ivy, better I knew it now—like ripping off the bandage instead of toying with the ends while the wound underneath festered and got infected.
"Sure."
"I'll leave if there’s any tension. No questions."
I had to give him props. He was trying hard. I reached over the console and kissed him softly on the cheek, his stubble slightly abrasive on my lips. I tingled from the contact, and it must have shown on my face because he made a low, rough sound—one that I was beginning to associate with activities that involved very little clothes and a lot of sweat.
"We should go inside," I suggested and drew away before I took him up on his very obvious invitation.
He merely smiled and hopped out. I waited for him to open the door for me. The first time I’d tried to open my own door, he’d flipped out. It was something he enjoyed doing, and honestly I loved the gesture so I sat in the seat and watched him lope around the front of the truck and then come to my side. I had my seatbelt off with the door open so he could reach inside and help me out.
"If you drove a car, I would be able to get out of the vehicle myself."
"Sure, but where would the fun be in that?" He winked and held me tightly against him as he slowly lowered me to the ground. There was no mistaking the hard steel that I slid against.
"I don't know whether to be impressed by your quick recovery time or worried I didn't satisfy you."
"How about chuffed because you can always make me hard?" He planted a soft kiss on the crown of my head but made no attempt to move away.
At this rate, we'd never get into the apartment. I firmed up my spine and took his hand. "That's a good alternative."
I led the way up the stairs and let us in.
Ivy heard the door open. "Is that you, Winter?" she called from the bedroom. Her voice was faint and weak.
"Yes. Do you need something?" I quickly ditched my purse. "Stay here," I murmured quietly. Finn obliged and walked over to the sofa while I hurried to the bedroom.
Her bedroom was dim. She had pulled the shades, and the streetlight peeking around the sides of the too-small window covering was the only illumination.
"Jimmy let me go." Ivy was lying on her back with a book covering her chest. What to Expect When You're Expecting. It was last year's edition. She noticed me looking at the cover. "I'm only in the third chapter, and already I know we're screwed."
"Maybe you shouldn't read it."
"Then we'll be unprepared and screwed. At least now we'll know why we're screwing up."
"Why can't you wait tables?" I sat next to her on the bed, keenly aware Finn was sitting by himself in our living room.
"He sai
d no one wants to see a pregnant belly. Reminded them of home."
"We can buy a webcam, and you can strip at home. There's a fetish for everything. Remember the knitting guy?" I'd come across a guy in a full body suit knitted out of gray—and what looked like really itchy—yarn. One of the strippers told us that it was fetish gear. If someone liked to look at men or women in a full knitted sweater, then there was probably a crew who loved the pregnant belly.
"You need to get off the Internet, Winter. That shit'll scar you." She thumbed the edge of the book. "Did you happen to mention to Tucker that I could be a great shop bitch?"
"Things are tight there. Rent is expensive in the East Village."
"Bullshit. He doesn't want to hire a felon." She sighed and pressed her head against her hand. "Which is ironic since half his clientele must be criminals. Every chick inside had at least one tattoo." She shook her head and laughed humorlessly. "I took the car and applied at some restaurants, but I'm guessing if I have to handle money then I won't be hired. I called a cleaning agency, and they said no as well because all their cleaners had to be licensed and bonded and someone with a felony record wouldn't pass." She opened her mouth to say something and then closed it. Fidgeting with the book, she didn't look up when she asked me, "Winter, do you think I should have an abortion?"
My heart turned over. "I don't know."
Initially, I was convinced I would have gotten the abortion, but now…I didn’t know. I was the unwanted child of some woman in China. Maybe if I'd been born a boy, my biological family would have kept me. But I wasn't. I was a girl and therefore expendable, or worse, just trash, given that I was left on the side of the road. Mom had said that my bio mom must have cared deeply because I'd been left near a police station, sure to be found and then fostered out.
It was the best possible light to place on anyone abandoned. It hurt to hear Ivy talk about her baby in such unhappy terms, but she was right. It wasn't my body or my future at stake.
"I'll support you in whatever decision you make," I said and gave her the best smile I could. "I took the apprenticeship job, and I know that once I start inking fulltime I can make enough to support us both."
"And the baby?"
