Atlas touched her, and she yearned.
Soulmate.That term had pierced straight to her heart.Her mother had mocked her with that same word.Lily had never, ever expected to find someone who could know her so well, who could match her so well, who would make her feel so much.
Until Atlas.
“Hell, yes, I’m angry with you.So angry that I’m tempted to spank that sweet ass.”
She frowned.“I’m not into that.”The conversation was out of hand.She had to tell him?—
“Don’t knock it until you try it.”Gruff.“Dammit!Don’t get me off track!”A muscle jerked along his jaw.“I didn’t see it coming.Not until we were standing right there.And it’s not going to happen, understand me?”
“No, I do quite not understand you.”She wrapped her arms around her stomach.“You’re making love to me one moment and yelling at me the next, and frankly, it’s quite confusing.”
“It wasn’t making love.It was fucking.”
Pain crashed into her heart.“Sorry.Yes.”She looked away, staring through the window.They’d left the crime scene behind.The reporters were far away.But those reporters would do their job.They’d spread the video of her and Atlas far and wide.And in response to that video…Will you come for me?
“Lily?”
Her skin felt chilled.They needed to turn on the heat in the limo.“You said it was fucking.”
He leaned forward and caught her chin.With a careful touch, he turned her face back toward him.“Making love is soft.Sweet.Tender.Fuckinghappens when I drive my cock into you before you’re ready for me.When I dig my fingers into your waist and pound into you as you’re screaming in the back of a limo.Fucking, not making love.”
Had she screamed?Lily didn’t remember that.Perhaps, though.Possibly.Either way, she should let this discussion go.It would only bring more pain.Just because she felt something, it didn’t mean that Atlas shared the emotion.It didn’t mean hecouldfeel the same way.But…Why should I pretend that I don’t finally feel this way?“Maybe it’s just fucking to you, but it’s making love to me.”
He let her go at once, as if he’d been burned.
He hadn’t been.Benedict had been the one to burn…
Benedict.
She looked down.
“It’s making love…” Atlas’s rough voice.“Because you’ve convinced yourself that you’re falling in love with me?”
Did the back of the limo smell like sex?Did Carl know what they’d done?Had she looked too tousled when she left the limo?Did the reporters know?Would every person who watched that video footage know?
Did it matter?
“Lily.”
“No.”Snapped.A bit of surprise rushed through her.She hadn’t realized how close her own anger was to the surface.Maybe it was because her control wasn’t at its normal level.Normally, she would never, evermake loveto a man in the back of a limo.But this wasn’t normal.
Who are you kidding, Lily?You’ve never been normal a day in your life.Even her mother had known that.
The diary entries prove it…
A deep breath, then, calmer, she said, “I haven’tconvincedmyself of anything.I know what I feel.I know what I’m talking about.”She looked up, and her gaze collided with his.“Who says that making love has to be soft and gentle?Who decided that rule?”
His lips parted.But he didn’t speak.
That was fine.She had plenty to say.“Who says that making love has to be tender?If you love someone, aren’t the emotions supposed to consume you?Wouldn’t the feeling be raw and savage?Beyond control?Wouldn’t you want to take and take and take, to be as greedy and demanding as you could?”
A hard shake of his head.“That’s lust.”
“Ah, lust.”A sage nod.“Love’s wicked twin.”
“I think that’s hate.”But his gaze had softened.
