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Exhaustion prevented her from getting up, and so she curled into a ball and whined miserably. She couldn't walk back yet, and the sun would set soon. How was anyone supposed to find her? She didn't want to be out here alone, in a strange body, when the sun went down.
The memory of the screeching creature, not to mention Nick's rendition of what it might look like, made her shake. It had slaughtered two people, maybe more. If the beast found her out here, weak and defenseless, she'd end up as dinner.
Despite her fears, she grew sleepy. Staying awake wasn't an option. Before she went under, she could have sworn she saw a white wolf appear from behind a tree about fifty yards away. But when she blinked it was gone.
Daria, where are you? Hold on, honey. I'm coming.
She'd probably imagined that, too. But she was too tired to answer anyway.
. . .
In wolf form, Ryon raced through the woods toward the compound. Toward his mate. He had heard her cry out, and had immediately turned back when the pain felled him.
Her agony had ripped through him as though it were his own, and he'd actually stumbled and fell. Sitting on his haunches trying to figure out what had happened, the realization hit him.
Daria was going through her first shift. His mind reeled at the knowledge. Hadn't it taken Kira and Rowan a few weeks to experience their wolf for the first time? God, this had happened so soon, he wasn't ready.
She was confused, in pain. Alone. All of these horrible things should not have happened. If he'd been a better mate, he wouldn't have indulged in a moment of self-pity, leaving her by herself at the compound. Not even for an hour, not when he knew she would need him, and not over something as stupid as his jealousy of a man who was no real threat to his mating.
Because he was a selfish bastard, she was suffering. He called out to her as he ran, but she wasn't answering. The bond between them was blank, but not as though she was willfully shutting him out. It was as if she was asleep, or unconscious. He ran faster, frantic to find her.
He wasn't sure how long he searched, but he was starting to panic. Their bond would've helped him find her faster, but he was hindered. Maybe she hadn't even run in his direction.
The last thing he needed was to see the glowing form of a spirit step from behind a tree. Halting in his tracks, he recognized the woman who'd been mutilated. This time her image was whole, her skin unmarred by the atrocity inflicted upon her. Sometimes this happened, the victims reverting back to the state they were in before they died. Maybe they couldn't accept what had happened, much less that they were supposed to be dead.
As the ghost moved closer, eyes beseeching, Ryon shifted. Kneeling in the dirt, he shook his head. "I can't help you."
Monster, she mouthed.
Ryon shivered. The spirits were so seldom able to get their woes across. Leave it to this one to be different. "I know. I'm sorry for what the beast did to you, but we're going to catch him. I promise."
This time, her voice came through on a whisper. "My husband?"
"Everyone is looking for him. We'll find him." She didn't need to know they probably already had.
"Monster," she said sadly, the strange, dark eye sockets glistening with unshed tears.
Jesus. "I hope not. But one way or another, we'll find him."
From her bereft expression, she must have known he'd likely suffered the same fate. Why did the ghosts torment him when there wasn't a fucking thing he could do? What good was this stupid "gift"?
"Look for the light," he told her. "When you find it, keep going. Maybe your husband is there, waiting for you."
A look of hope bloomed, and she turned without another word. Began to walk away. In seconds, she vanished into the trees again, and he exhaled a shaky breath.
"I'll never freaking get used to that." If the woman's husband was dead, he prayed they'd find each other. It drove him crazy that he never knew if the spirits found peace.
Shifting again, he resumed his search for Daria. Scenting the air, he began to come undone. He couldn't locate her. Then a flash of white caused him to put on the brakes. In the path ahead, a small white female wolf stood with her head up, ears forward in a nonthreatening manner. She didn't snarl or offer any aggression. She simply turned, glanced over her shoulder once as if expecting him to follow, then took off.
Taking a chance, he ran after her. She could be leading him into a trap, but he didn't think so. Instinct typically served him well, and whatever this wolf's agenda was, Ryon and his mate were not a part of it. He hoped.
At one point he lost sight of the wolf, and bounded around a bend in the path, determined to catch up. Instead, he found that the white wolf was gone-and a black shape was lying curled at the base of a tree. Torn and discarded clothes were strewn not far from the form. Approaching cautiously, he sniffed. Scented his mate.
She was a bit bigger than the white wolf, but not by much. His heart lifted at seeing her there, safe and sleeping. His poor baby must have been worn out from her first shift, and he felt bad that it had happened without anyone there to guide her.
Shifting back to human form, he knelt at her side and ran a hand over her silky black coat. "You're stunning," he said softly. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there."
His touch and his voice roused her, and she sat up, whining pitifully. "You're all right," he soothed. "Easy, now. I'm here."
Liquid brown eyes gave him a fearful stare. How did this happen to me?
His mouth fell open, and then he smiled. "You're doing it! You can mind-speak with me."
Not with anyone else?
"No." His smile faded with dread at the coming talk. He knew where her questions would lead, and he couldn't put off the answers any longer. "Just with me."
Why not? Is it because you bit me? And is that how I became a wolf, like you?
Her voice in his head was rising in anxiety. "You need to shift back before we have this talk."
Answer me!
"Shift and we will," he said firmly. "Imagine each part of your body. Your arms, legs, hands and feet. Your face. Make your wolf obey and step back."
I don't know if I can.
"It's not nearly as hard as shifting for the first time, and it isn't as painful from now on. Go ahead and try."
On her first attempt, her wolf remained stubbornly in the forefront, not pleased at all about being forced into submission again. It was out, and Ryon sensed that she wanted to run, play, and explore. Now wasn't the time, though.
The second attempt was a success. In seconds Daria was sitting on the ground, naked. Drawing her knees up to her chest, she glared at him, making him flinch.
"You deserve the whole truth," he began.
"Nice of you to think so." Her lips thinned.
"I want you to try to remember that ever since you woke up in our infirmary, you've had a lot to deal with. There was no way I was going to spring all of this on you at once."
She hesitated; then her posture relaxed a fraction. "I'll give you that. But I want the whole story now, not just what you believe I can handle. I'm tougher than I look."
"Fair enough." Jesus, this wasn't going to go well. "Yes, when I bit you, I knew that most likely you would turn into a shifter. Like me and my team."
"And you did it to save my life." A statement, not a question. She was working through it all in her head.
"Yes. As well as my own."
She tensed again. "What do you mean?"
"Remember when I said you could mind-speak with me, but only with me?"
"I remember."
He fumbled for a way to explain that wouldn't shock her too badly. "Well, only certain pairs of wolf shifters can do that who aren't Telepaths. Non-Telepaths can only talk in each other's heads if they are . . . mated. Or if you're a powerful born shifter, like Nick. He communicates with me really well. The others have to push their thoughts back at me if I talk to them first."
"Mated." She stared at him blankly, latching on to that word. "You mean mated, as in animals in the wild who pair off with their special other half? That kind of mated?"
"Or shifters who find their other half, yes." Hope rose at her calm questioning. It quickly crashed as understanding began to dawn, and a slow burn of anger simmered through their bond.
"When you bit me, you mated with me?" she asked, voice rising. "Like, married me, in a way?"
"Sort of," he said evenly. "I had no-"
"You had no choice? No other option but to let me die?"
"That's the absolute truth, I swear it."
"And it had nothing to do with your wolf half simply taking what he wanted? Excuse me if I don't believe that," she said flatly.
"I can't deny he wanted to claim you-we both did-but I wouldn't lie to you. I honestly could not have done anything differently. Not unless I-"
"Save it." Her voice was cold as a winter's day. "Tell me about this bond I feel. It's not my imagination, is it? Now your possessive Neanderthal side when we were discussing Ben makes sense."
"No, it's not your imagination. We're bonded for life," he said, heart aching. "We won't be able to stand being apart for long. We can each feel the other's emotions, physical pain. I felt yours when you shifted, and that's how I knew to turn back. The white wolf led me to you."
She ignored the last bit of information. "That's just great, mate. I'm bound to a man I barely know. I didn't get a say. Maybe I would have chosen you, but now we'll never know."
"We won't?" Fear seized his chest. "Daria-"
"I can't handle this right now. I thought I could take about anything after what I've seen, after almost being killed and then recovering at warp speed." She laughed without humor. "But this? I don't know anything except I need for you to stay away from me right now."
Faster than he would've believed possible, she began to shift. It still took far longer than it would after she'd gained more experience, but she did an impressive job. It broke his heart that she was using her new skills to get away from him as fast as possible.
His mate turned and began to walk away. Her steps were a bit drunken as she figured out the use of her legs, but she did an admirable job.
"Daria!" he called "Please? I had to do it! I would have . . ." But she wasn't listening, or stopping.
Remaining on the ground, he sat with his head bowed for the longest time. Stared at the ground with his soul bleeding out.
"I would have died," he said to no one.
But he could fix that, sooner or later. There was always one more monster to fight. If his mate left him . . .
He'd just have to make damned sure he didn't win the next fight.
Chapter Eight
Daria walked back to the compound, anger and confusion riding her hard.
Sadness, too. Ryon's as well as her own. Every harsh word she'd spoken to him had hit his soul like a hammer blow and reverberated in her own chest. When she had walked away, she had left him devastated.
He had no choice but to bite her. She knew in her heart that was the truth, but that didn't make it any easier to deal with the fact that her life had changed forever.
Would that be so bad?
No. Contrary to what he or his friends might think, she wasn't angry about the actual mating itself-she could think of worse things than to be tied to the blond god of her dreams-or the fact that she'd been turned into a shifter. The crux of her frustration was that she didn't get a say in her own destiny. It had been served up without her consent, and presented after the fact with a big bow.
Congratulations. You can turn furry and you're tied for life to a man you don't really know. What if he leaves the toilet seat up? Leaves his dirty underwear on the floor? Is lying and has ten girlfriends, one in each part of the world? Too bad! He's yours.
