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‘You tried,’ she said, feeling a strange compulsion to defend him from himself. ‘You tried so hard to make me happy.’
He might have got cold feet about her having a proper gallery away from the estate, but that did not take away from the wonderful studio he had created for her or the hours he had spent in there with her, bringing his work into her world so they could be together. She doubted there were many men who would be so tolerant of a wife prone to disappearing from the marital bed in the middle of the night to paint.
‘Please, do not make excuses for me.’ His hands balled into fists. ‘I deserve nothing but your contempt. We both know you would have left me eventually, even if you hadn’t become pregnant.’
‘We don’t know that.’
‘I do. Being here was killing the essence of you. Sooner or later you would have had enough. Tell me the truth. Given a choice, would you want to live here? Would you want Lily to be brought up here?’
She shook her head, wishing with all her heart that she could lie to him.
Why wasn’t she jumping up and down with glee?
Luca was handing her everything she wanted. Her and Lily’s freedom.
He closed his eyes but not before she caught the bleakness that had flittered into them. ‘You and Lily will be happier away from Sicily. You need somewhere with freedom, a thriving art community, sunlight and people. The only thing I can provide for you here is the sunlight.’
‘But...’
‘Grace, I should never have forced you back. I have many regrets—so numerous I’m going to spend the rest of my life doing good deeds if I’m to have any chance of avoiding hell—but my biggest regret is my treatment of you. I brought danger into our lives. I kept you a virtual prisoner...’ His eyes snapped open to stare at the ceiling. ‘Everything I have done has caused you harm. I’ve behaved like a monster and I do not blame you for wanting to raise our child away from my influence. I will leave it to you to decide if I am to be allowed any contact with her. Whatever you decide, know I will support both of you financially and know I am more sorry than I could ever express.’
She should turn around and go before he changed his mind.
‘So that’s it?’ She needed to make sure. ‘Lily and I can leave, right now, and never come back and never set foot in Sicily again and never see you again?’
He rubbed the back of his neck. When he answered it was full of weariness. ‘If that is your wish, then yes.’
She believed him. She could grab her daughter and slam the door on Sicily and Luca for ever.
‘Please, Grace.’ His voice caught before he blew a puff of air out of his mouth. ‘Please, leave now. Looking at you hurts my heart.’
‘Okay,’ she said uncertainly. ‘I guess this is goodbye, then.’
He gave a curt nod, no longer looking at her. ‘Goodbye, Grace.’
Taking a shuddering breath, she stepped over the threshold.
‘If you or Lily need anything—anything at all—I’ll always be here for you,’ he spoke quietly after her.
Unexpected hot tears burned her eyes. She tried to walk to her room but every step felt as if ten-tonne slabs of concrete had been placed inside her limbs.
For an age she stood there, unable to move, the utter misery and dejection on Luca’s face the only thing she could see when she closed her eyes.
He had fallen in love with Lily and he was still letting them go.
And he loved her, Grace, too. She could feel it in her heart. Since he had come to her bedroom and spent the evening bathing and dressing their daughter, it was as if the old Luca had slipped back into his skin and slowly reclaimed his body.
He was giving her everything she wanted. Except for one thing...
Hadn’t she realised that last night, after they’d made love? She would have been happy to buy a gallery knowing it would be against his wishes, but confrontation involving anything real, she backed away from.
Unless she put her heart on the line and fought for the one thing she wanted above all else, she would lose it for ever.
She hurried back into his office, her legs suddenly working just fine in her haste.
Luca was slumped over his desk, his face buried in a pile of papers.
‘You said I could leave Sicily and never return if that were my wish. Well, what if my wish is for you to come with us?’
He slowly raised his head, a deep groove indented in his forehead.
She took a step towards him. ‘What if Lily and I loved you so much we didn’t want to be parted from you again?’
His mouth formed a tight line, his eyes not moving from her.
She moved closer. ‘What if I were to tell you I stuck it out in Cornwall for longer than I knew was safe because a tiny part of me missed you so badly it wanted you to find me?’ As she spoke the words she knew them to be true. That strange lethargy that had overcome her, that hollow feeling that something was missing...
