I skate past him, continuing my determined walk toward my apartment. Even though I don’t want to go home. I want to stay here and scream at Orfeo until my throat is raw.I trusted you,I want to scream at him.I fucking trusted you.“No other way to ask me to fucking kill someone? Because that’s what you’re doing. You want me to kill him.”
“He’s a demon,” Orfeo bites out through gritted teeth, keeping pace with me. “He is not an innocent human being. He is the most evil and corrupt creature to walk this planet, Diantha. You heard what we said. If he opens that portal, there is no hope foranyof us. It’ll consume everything. You’ll never access your mother?—”
“Enough!” I halt to a stop and drop to the ground, pressing my fingers into my temples. My blood pressure is so high I feel like my eyes might actually explode out of my head. “Do you know what you’re asking me to do? Do you even get how fucking serious this is? My mothervisitsme in my dreams. She has access to my mind and my life. If I replace her with Alfo,hewill be in my mind. Is that really what you want?”
I lift my eyes to meet Orfeo’s. They swim with fear, with anger. “No! Never. I would never ask you?—”
“But you did! You just said he’s evil and corrupt. And I’m just supposed to let that type of energy into my mind?” Tears sting my eyes. I push myself back up to my feet and advance on him, rage cresting in my chest. “That’s not lifting the curse, Orfeo. That’s swapping one problem for an even fuckingbiggerone.”
He holds me with a fierce look, desperation twisting his brows and the knife in my chest. I feelhorrible. I feelevil.“This is just a temporary solution. And you would have your mother back.”
“What if she doesn’t want to come back? What if she comes back and she’s different? I can’t do that to her. I am not a god!”
“Diantha, please. Please.” His eyes grow wider as he reaches for my hand. “This is my freedom we’re speaking of.”
I stumble as I yank my hand away from him. “And this is my life. My entirefuckinglife?—”
“Once Alfo is gone we can figure out how to break the curse! You will have money, and I will have my time and freedom to help you!”
“How do I know that?” I shout back. “How do I know you won’t abandon me? Run off back to Italy, to your family?”
He rocks back on his heels and we stay silent for a moment, no noise around us but the buzz of our energy.
“Diantha…” He watches me through slitted eyes, darkness eclipsing the last of their sadness.
“I know that’s where you want to be.” I shake my head “Not here, not in Echidna. I already trusted you once, and look what you did with that.”
“I had to lie in order for you to get past Alfo! Ihadto. This is the only way for us to have our futures back. Think of the life I could give you, Diantha. No more part-time jobs, no more broken heater. You can come with me to Italy?—”
“I am ahuman, Orfeo,” I interrupt him so fiercely my voice cracks. “Flesh and bone and blood. I know you think I’m something extra, but I’mnot.What happens if I fuck up? What happens if we get caught? You’re asking me to put myonelife at risk.”
“And my life is already gone. There’s nothing about me worth saving?”
“That isnotwhat I’m saying. How can you not see what you’re asking me to do for you?God.Do you just see me as some sort of pawn in a big chess game?”
“Of course not,” he says darkly. “I showed you what you do to me—how you make me feel. But as long as I am stuck under Alfo, nothing can exist here, between us. Doyouunderstand that? He owns me.”
“So, what?” My vision turns blurry from the tears threatening to spill over. “We can’t even be friends unless I agree to this?”
He stares at me, almost smiling, incredulity written all over his features. “Friends?”
“Jesus Christ.” I cringe. “Don’t say it like that. Like it’s dirty.”
“Diantha, there is no version of my current life where I can beanythingto you.” He shakes his head. Moonlight cuts sideways across his beautiful features, reducing them to harsh shadows. “I have nothing.Nothing.”
We fall silent, exhausted and wrung out. I sink to the ground again, until the ice-cold stone of the curb touches the backs of my thighs. “I can’t just…kill someone, Orfeo. I can’t just take his life and hope it works.”
He nods, hands shoved in his pockets. His eyes are set on the horizon. He keeps his distance, and I feel none of his warmth. “This is pointless then. We will never agree.”
“I want to help?—”
“No,” he cuts me off. “You want this all to be easy, and it never will be. This world, my world, is not easy. There is no simple answer. No quick solution. These are the decisions that have to be made. I’m not sure how you think you will dissolve your mother’s curse, but believe me—you will have to draw blood.”
His words hang between us like a slow swinging guillotine, descending to its final destination.
“Do you think I’m a coward?” I ask eventually.
Orfeo doesn’t look at me.He can’t look at me. “I don’t know what I think anymore.”
