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“He wants to kill you,” he ground out. “Why would you want to stay . . .” His brow furrowed for a few seconds before his face slowly slipped into an emotionless mask. “You think you can change his mind.”
I swallowed past the dryness in my throat and looked away from the horror filling his eyes.
“Lily, he won’t give you the chance.”
“You don’t know—”
“Lily,” he bit out, grabbing my face to make me look at him. “He won’t give you the chance. What were you planning? To wait for him to come for you and try to explain before he could shoot you?”
When I only stared at him with a helpless expression, he cursed. “Jesus.” He leaned up to press his mouth to my forehead, leaving his lips there when he whispered, “I’ll end his life before he can try to take yours.”
“Kieran, please don—” I tensed when his phone rang, and slowly looked at his frustrated expression.
For a few seconds he didn’t move, but with a sneer he pushed away from me and grabbed his phone out of his pocket.
Other than his answering growl, he spoke too low for me to follow the conversation. From the way his head suddenly snapped around to face me, I knew whatever was happening wasn’t good.
“That was Mickey,” he explained when he slipped the phone into his pocket. When I only continued to stare at him, he roughed a hand into his long hair and let loose a heavy breath. “Lily, I have to—”
“Right.” A frustrated laugh bubbled past my lips.
“Lily, I swear to you we’ll leave. Say the word, and we’re gone. But everything we’ve been working for since before Aric died is happening now. Finn knows Teagan’s gone and is losing his mind. Mickey knows Teagan is gone and is about to go hunting because he thinks Finn is hiding her. This is where they all start slipping up and taking each other out, and I need to make sure Mickey’s plans go down with them.”
“Then go,” I whispered.
I couldn’t understand why I sounded disappointed. There was nothing keeping Kieran here with me other than Kieran. As much as I’d tried over the years—maybe that was it.
M
aybe I’d waited and hoped for so long that a part of me would always hope for Kieran to prove me wrong even though I’d finally accepted reality.
I wasn’t sure it was fair to him . . . then again, nothing about these last years was fair to either of us.
“Say the word and we’re gone,” he repeated, catching my stare to let me know he meant it.
“You need to go,” I said, curling my arms around my waist. “This is what you’ve been waiting for. I shouldn’t be the reason you miss it.”
If he hadn’t been so close, I might’ve missed the hurt that flashed through his eyes.
Without a word, he turned and moved quickly throughout the room, changing and arming himself with knives and blades. He headed for the bedroom door after slipping the last one into his boot, but stopped before he could get there.
After standing there for a few seconds, he abruptly turned and stalked back to the bed to pull me into his arms.
One of his hands curled around my neck and his eyes searched mine, the struggle to stay or leave evident.
But the time for staying had long past.
“Go,” I said gently, trying to let him know it was okay.
His brow pinched and his mouth formed a hard line, and for just a second, he gripped me tighter. “You could break my heart for the rest of our lives and I would still love you.”
He tugged me forward to press his lips to my forehead, and when he pulled away, the familiar war with the beast raged in his eyes. His hand trembled against me as he forced himself away, his expression hardening with each step back.
His gaze darted over my body, lingering on my bare legs and arms one last time before he was gone.
The familiar ache from Kieran leaving bloomed in my chest, but for the first time it was muted, as if I was experiencing it from far away. For the first time, I didn’t resent him for going.
Incredible, the strength you didn’t know you had when you learn to let something go.
