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Why, after all this time, he’d put an end to our silent misery.
A flash of hurt and embarrassment flared in my chest, and I prayed the darkness of the night would hide the blood rushing to my cheeks.
I felt like such an idiot.
“I had it handled, he wasn’t bothering me,” I said, my voice tight.
His eyebrows rose in disbelief. “He told anyone who would listen that you turned him down the other day. That should’ve been enough. Tonight he kept coming after you while you repeatedly told him to stop or leave . . . that’s not bothering you?”
I looked at him blankly as I thought through the encounter through someone else’s eyes.
A guy repeatedly coming after a girl who’s by herself. A way to save the girl.
But Ethan had never been anything more than an endearing, hopeful, eager puppy. There wasn’t a malicious bone in his body. He might turn into an overly confident jerk when drunk, but in the end, he wouldn’t end up harming anyone but himself.
And the man in front of me knew that.
Because the man in front of me? There was something dark and dangerous that radiated beneath his enticing surface and enchanting grin. Something easily noticed when you’d been raised in a similar life. A darkness easily identified when you’d embraced and loved it for so many years. And it only added to his appeal.
Kieran had the same darkness. Only he wore his like armor.
Men like Kieran and the one in front of me could take one look at Ethan and know any woman wouldn’t need saving from him.
And this man had made me feel alive and free. He’d made me want so many things as long as they were with him. All with some words and kisses that never should’ve happened—because he’d thought I’d needed to be saved for a minute or two.
I already had enough men saving me.
“I have to go.”
He snatched my wrist in his grasp as soon as I took a step away, and hauled me back to him. His dark eyes were dancing, the corner of his mouth pulled up in amusement. “Where are you going?”
“Ethan never stopped me from leaving.” I meant for my voice to be hard. I meant to sneer at him. But my tone was soft and breathy as my traitorous heart silently begged him to kiss me again.
“No,” he agreed, his eyes boring into my own. “But he hadn’t just found what he hadn’t even realized he’d been looking for.”
My chest tightened from the ache in his words. “But I’ve been here.”
When he spoke again, his tone was gruff, his words dripping with need and regret. “Right in front of me, and just out of reach.”
As much as I wanted to deny everything he was saying, I understood.
Just as there was a force pushing Kieran and I farther apart, there had always been something keeping me from this man. Keeping him at looking distance . . . keeping him an idea, a fantasy. A boundary I’d pushed at and tested . . . one I’d thought he’d attempted to get past every day he’d left me notes.
But my life at Holloway and with Kieran was what had always kept that invisible force secure. Until tonight.
And now, being in his arms, it was like I’d finally found him.
As right as it felt, it was impossible to ignore the crushing force that was my struggling relationship.
I needed to get home. I needed to get away from this man before I forgot who I was and let myself believe this constant thrum that danced between us was real.
His free hand found that place at my neck again, his thumb gently sliding along my jaw before he was guiding my head back.
“I have to go,” I repeated, but couldn’t force myself away from him.
His eyes searched mine for a few seconds as he nodded, then dipped his head closer. But just when I thought he would kiss me again, his lips went to my ear. “If I let you go, how do I know I’ll find you again?”
My brow pinched as confusion swam through me. “You know where I’ll be, just as I know where you’ll be.”
