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And there it was . . . my own, sick addiction.
The need to push him until he snapped.
The need for him to put an end to the madness.
My hands fell as the shaking began deep in my bones. A rush filled me unlike any high.
Unable to stop myself, I inched closer to him, the taunts hot on my tongue with each step. “You gettin’ mad, Jent?”
Make it go away.
“What does it feel like when you get angry?”
Does it feel as horrible as this does?
“That rage inside you. That darkness . . .”
Does it make you hate yourself the way I do?
“What does it feel like?”
Make it go away, Jentry.
He sighed and gave me a placating look, and my panic at seeing that calm wash over him threatened to choke me.
I wanted to scream at him until he lost it. I wanted to hate him for being able to find a calm that I would never know again.
Weak. So weak.
“Jess, turn around. Put your hands behind your back.”
My head swung roughly as I swallowed back that panic.
“Oh, no, no, no. I don’t think I will. You just came driving up on me while I was walking down a street. No reason for it. Completely unwarranted.”
Jentry’s eyes begged me not to make him do this, but still he bit out, “We got two calls in the last half hour that a girl with your description has been going up to random men on this street, offering herself.”
The absurdity of the claim was enough to force a laugh from my chest. “That’s not how I work. They come to . . .”
My face fell and a chill spread through me.
I reached for Jentry but he stepped away, putting his arm out to stop another attempt.
“Hands behind your back.”
“I’ve only been here for a few minutes,” I hissed. “Jentry, don’t take me.”
“Jess, don’t make this harder than it already is.”
“You don’t understand,” I yelled. “You can’t take me. You have . . . to . . .”
Dread filled me when Jentry turned me around, giving me a clear view of the familiar black SUV on the opposite side of the street, about a hundred yards away. “Fuck you,” I screamed, struggling against Jentry as he put handcuffs on me. “Fuck you.”
“Calm down, Jessica,” Jentry said as he pulled me toward his car.
“I belong to no man!”
There was a deep sigh from behind me. “Jess, I can’t handle your crazy tonight.”
