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He offered me another weak smile. “I’m sorry about your mom.”
The pain hit like a punch to my chest. I took another bite.
Kieran settled himself on the arm of the chair so he was pressed against my shoulder, and exhaled slowly. “Everyone’s working. We need a couple of our guys to come back and take Jessica’s mom to the morgue.” He tapped on my arm and waited until I nodded in agreement before continuing. “Call a couple more and have them get rid of the ghost’s body.”
“Body?” Conor asked, nearly choking on the word. “When did he die?”
“When I killed him,” Kieran said unapologetically. “But just because he’s gone doesn’t mean we’re safe . . . there’s still Mickey. I want you to stay in here until he’s dead.”
Conor’s face fell. “You want me to stay here . . . what, guarded? Like Lily and Jessica? I can defend myself, man. I can fight too. I don’t need to be fucking protected,” he said sternly, then held a hand out toward me in apology. “No offense.”
I slowly removed the spoon from my mouth, looking from Conor to Beck then back again. “You think I was in here and you stood guard because I can’t defend myself? Because I need to be fucking protected?”
He looked lost, but I could tell that was exactly what he’d thought.
For a brief moment, I wondered what his expression would look like if I informed him men had to drug and sedate me in order to control me.
I took another bite of ice cream instead.
“It’s not his fault,” Kieran murmured so low his voice wouldn’t carry to the brothers. When he spoke again, his voice was louder and full of authority. “I wouldn’t have trusted their lives with you if I didn’t think you could defend yourself, Conor, but to keep you safe, there’s a lot you were never told. And right now, you’re still Mickey’s biggest target. We need to keep that target from him.”
“How the hell do you call the shit I’ve been through keeping me safe?”
Beck finally stepped forward. “It wasn’t, but it was the best we could do.” He jerked his head in Kieran’s and my direction and said, “I asked Kieran to give you the safest jobs. I never wanted this life for you.”
“What are you talking about?” he yelled. “You’re the one who told me Holloway would save us.”
Beck laughed miserably. “Yeah, well . . . back when we were on the streets and I was fighting, I fought a Holloway dealer and won what should’ve been Mickey’s cut. Mickey approached me a few days later before another fight, demanding I give the money back. I told him to fuck off and walked away. He was laughing like my response was the funniest damn thing he’d ever heard. The next fight, he was there again. He told me about Holloway and said he wanted both of us in, and to think really hard before I answered.” He jerked his chin toward Kieran and said, “I looked up and saw this fucking scary bastard standing next to you, eyes pinned on you like he was waiting for someone to unleash him.”
Conor looked betrayed and stunned. He stumbled to one of the chairs and sat heavily in it, his wide stare on the floor.
“I promised you when Mom and Dad died I’d take care of you. You were only thirteen, and we’d already been on the streets for almost two years. This was a place to live. Food. Money. And, shit, I didn’t want you to fucking die.” Beck raked his hands through his hair, his face exhausted. “As soon as we got here, Kieran and Aric pulled me aside to make sure I never fell for Mickey’s bullshit. And they promised to take care of us no matter what.”
It was painfully silent in the seconds after Beck’s confession. It felt like a bomb was about to go off, but for once, my madness wasn’t craving it.
I watched Conor for at least a minute before resting my feet on the floor and standing to go to him. Holding out the half-eaten ice cream, I said, “I’ve heard it makes everything better.”
He huffed a laugh and took it from me, nodding in appreciation when I went back to my chair. With a deep sigh, he sat back in his seat and slanted a glare at his brother. “What else?”
The next thirty minutes were spent with Beck and Kieran telling Conor everything he hadn’t known. Kieran’s jobs. The rebellion against Mickey between
Kieran, Aric, Beck, and Dare. Details about the years Lily spent running away to be with Dare. What had really happened when Dare screwed Kieran and Beck over in the end, and how they were now waiting to finish what they’d started years ago. And how I’d come into play. Who I was and what I meant to Kieran, Beck, and Mickey.
That part had been fun.
I’d fallen asleep clinging to Kieran’s hand when the conversation shifted into the plans for taking down Mickey, and was woken later to the sound of the front door shutting.
I looked at the three guys standing in a circle, talking in hushed tones as I stretched from where I’d been curled up in the chair, and froze when Kieran suddenly looked over his shoulder at me. His stare was hard and unreadable.
Before I could apologize for interrupting, he broke away from Beck and Conor and sank down to a crouch in front of me.
“Did something happen with Mickey?”
He shifted his head in the slightest denial. “I don’t have a way of tracking him from here. I have people who will contact me if they see him, but so far, there’s been nothing.”
“So, what’s the plan?”
“Wait until we have an idea where he is. Hope he comes back to Holloway.”
