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A breath of a laugh tumbled from her lips. Her head tilted in confirmation. “Soon after, Momma started getting drugs for free and thought she’d hit the jackpot with Beck. But it was only because I had to pay for what he’d given her. But he kept telling me he’d protect me, that nothing would happen to me. And he said it like he had that power, and I wanted to know how. So, I hid in the back of his car one night and ended up here. Found out more than I ever wanted to about the men behind the bags with skulls and Celtic knots, but I kept coming back. I needed to know everything about the people trying to kill my mom.”
“She’s killing herself, Jessica.”
Her eyes narrowed into slits. “Our lives have been ruined because of him. Don’t you dare tell me what is or isn’t happening in my life because of the men in this damn house.”
I rubbed at my jaw and sighed, knowing there was nothing I could say to change her mind. “And what have you done with what you’ve heard here? What are you going to do?”
“Keep it for when I need it. Take it to my grave.” She shrugged. “Whatever comes first.” She tapped her head as she pushed away from the wall, grinning softly. “I have a lot of secrets stored here. For example, I was hiding in the room over four years ago when you told Beck everything you and a recently deceased Aric O’Sullivan had been doing with the Borellos to take down a certain Mickey.”
I stilled, my breathing slowing as my mind automatically went through every way to stop her.
To stop the threat.
“And yet,” she continued when she was just inches from me, her raspy voice dropping lower, “that’s the first time those words have left my lips. Probably the last too.”
“It needs to be the last,” I said on a growl.
She gave me a look far from reassuring and turned to saunter toward the window. “Good night.”
My mouth opened to remind her we were on the second floor, but I bit back the warning.
She’d been getting in and out of this mansion for a decade—she’d already been in and out of my room to hide my wallet. I was sure the balcony was nothing.
But I couldn’t stop from asking, “How are you getting back to Raleigh?”
Jessica glanced back at me, an amused look on her face. “I got myself here, didn’t I?” When I only continued to watch her, she sighed. “I have my ways, Nightshade. As you pointed out earlier, I am a whore.”
I’d never wanted to apologize for something more in my life. I hated that I felt I owed it to her. My hands fisted and my jaw clenched to keep from saying a word.
Her eyes darted from one to the other, not missing anything, and then slowly met my stare. “Does it bother you when people call you an assassin? No. Because it’s what you are.”
“It’s what I was raised to be,” I said through clenched teeth. “There’s a difference.”
Her gaze drifted to the side and got a faraway look. “Sometimes it feels it was inevitable for me too.” Without another word or warning, she disappeared through the window and onto the darkened balcony.
I followed after her . . . to see how she did it, to watch her, to stop her . . . when suddenly she was there.
Her hands in my hair, her mouth at my ear.
My hands automatically went to her waist, gripping the rain-soaked shirt and pulling her closer. My body vibrated, having someone in my arms like this, that monster inside raging and begging for something I refused to feed it.
“What if it was her? What if it was her who couldn’t be what you needed? Who couldn’t handle what you are. Who ruined the relationship.”
I went still.
There was no beast. No ache in my chest. Just the feel of Jessica in my hands as her words echoed in my mind.
“Because since she left, you’ve changed. I’ve never seen a driven man so lost. But I’ve also never seen you so human. So, what if it was her?” Her lips ghosted across mine, and then she was gone.
I was born to be Holloway’s assassin.
I was raised to love and protect Lily O’Sullivan until I died.
And I had . . . I’d tried.
I hadn’t understood what went wrong—where everything had shifted.
I got it now.
