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See nothing. Hear noth—
See nothing. Be nothing.
And then Momma stretched her arms out on the table. A long rubber band was tightened around one, and in the other, she was holding a needle.
“Momma . . .”
“Shut up, Jess.”
“Momma, don’t do—”
“Stop being weak,” she yelled.
Some of the men were laughing. Others were talking.
AJ was still staring.
But now all I could see was my mom pressing the needle to her arm. Her head falling back.
See nothing. Be nothing.
See nothing. Be nothing.
“Momma . . .”
When she let out a slow breath and leaned against the couch with her eyes closed, I remembered all the times I’d walked in to see her looking exactly like this over the years . . .
I thought she’d found a reason to be happy for a few minutes before Daddy came home. Before he’d gotten angry when it turned dark outside.
And the whole time, it had been whatever was in that needle.
See nothing. Be nothing.
I looked up to find that AJ man watching me. The way he was looking at me made my stomach feel heavy and wrong.
Be nothing.
I ran from the trailer and didn’t stop.
The day Momma took me from Jentry, I counted every traffic light and memorized every turn, and I hadn’t forgotten them since. I swore I’d never let myself forget where my other half was.
Remembering it backward was harder.
And I cried because I wasn’t strong like Jentry, and I was afraid I was lost and I’d never see him again. But I made it.
I found my way back to our old house across town.
Only when I got there, it was empty.
No car. No Daddy.
No Jentry.
I waited for three days, picking scraps out of our old neighbors’ trash as I did. If I could find Jentry, he could help me take care of Momma. He could make it go away.
But no one ever came back.
If Beck hadn’t already let me know he was coming to see me, I still would’ve known he was on his way.
