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She went to check on her mom.
I told myself that dozens of times already. But I felt it in my bones . . . I was an idiot if I honestly believed that was the only reason she left.
I never thought I’d have to worry about the girl who could pull a knife on me. But I saw her fear when she’d told me about the man who claimed to own her. I saw the way she’d tried to hold herself together when she looked like she was so close to breaking.
Like she had at The Jack.
If she was scared, I needed to find this guy and put an end to his tormenting and fucked-up thinking.
I hated that I wanted to make him a priority and that Jessica could have so much hold over me in such a short time. As much as she’d come to mean to me, as much as I craved her, there were still those times where I felt like letting myself want her was stepping into a trap.
Not that I could get myself to heed my own warnings or slow down with her.
She was everything I hated.
And I’d never wanted anyone the way I wanted her.
I wanted the dark that matched mine.
I wanted the chaos.
I wanted the way she calmed under my touch.
I wanted all of it.
I ran through the new list as I slipped from shadow to shadow, and forced myself to think clearly.
Nameless man. Ghost. Mickey.
No. Fuck.
Ghost. Nameless man. Mickey.
I ran my hands over my face and let loose a growl of frustration.
Ghost. Mickey. Nameless man.
I ran through those names again and again, my frustration building each time over the fact that I didn’t have concrete names for two of them. That I didn’t have faces for them.
Sliding the blade I’d absentmindedly been playing with into my pants, I forced the frustration away for now and took a calming breath as I rounded the corner to where Beck was dealing.
The second he saw me, his hands tightened into fists.
I’d seen him in action long ago. He was unbeatable with those fists. They’d kept him and Conor alive before Holloway. I was also positive this would hurt.
“Fuck you,” he spat, his voice low but still loud enough for me to hear.
“Beck . . .”
“Fuck you.”
Once I was within reaching distance from him, he swung and let loose a frustrated yell when I leaned out of his reach.
“Let me hit you, you fuck,” he yelled and swung again.
I knew I deserved it, but it was instinct to dodge.
“Do you know I’ve never hated you as much as I did today? Not when Aric died because you weren’t fast enough. Not when I found out you left for a job and Conor almost died. Not when you let Dare take Lily.”
