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I opened my mouth to scream when I was abruptly pulled up so I was kneeling on the bed. One of my hands was forced back to grip shoulder-length hair. Gentle lips glided along my shoulder.
A voice like gravel. “You’re always in control.”
A shuddering breath ripped through my body as Kieran’s room came into focus.
“I’m fine.”
“I know,” he whispered against my shoulder.
“I’m fine,” I repeated, my voice tight.
I felt his head dip in a nod and his body move from mine. “I know.”
“I’m fine.” A sob wrenched from my chest. My body bowed under the overwhelming grief and fear and aches of what was happening in my life.
I’d never felt weaker.
And I couldn’t stop.
Kieran was there, wrapping the comforter around me and pulling me into his arms as he sat back against the headboard. He just kept whispering how sorry he was. Over and over.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t form the words to tell him that it wasn’t his fault.
No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn’t beg him to make it all go away.
The madness.
AJ.
The lying.
The unknown.
The fear.
Everything.
So I lay there in his arms, showing him my every weakness, until I mercifully fell asleep.
I ran a hand over my face and dropped my head against the headboard as I replayed the morning in my mind.
Every word. Every look. Every sound.
Every mistake I’d made with her.
I knew she couldn’t handle being fucked like that. I knew. And I’d somehow forgotten everything but my need for her until she’d gone utterly still beneath me.
And then I’d watched as the strongest girl I knew completely broke.
The only reason I wasn’t going out of my mind was the sole fact that she’d let me pull her to me. That she’d fallen into my arms and stayed.
Looking down at the sleeping girl wrapped in my arms, I trailed my fingers across her cheek and down her jaw, savoring this short time with her. After another pass across her cheek, I carefully moved out from underneath her and forced myself away without looking back.
I knew if I did, I wouldn’t leave.
Once I was dressed and armed, I left and headed down the halls until I reached Beck’s room.
I didn’t knock. He never seemed to.
