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Kieran’s eyes narrowed at the sound when my bag shifted, his brow dropping low.
“I’ve been thinking.” My voice was rough and barely audible to my ears as I reached into my bag. “I don’t think you’d ever be able to actually hurt me.”
His head had already started to shake, whether to assure me or warn me, I wasn’t sure, but he stopped. His expression morphed into confusion and apprehension as I slowly pulled out the long steel chain. “What—?”
“You can’t face me. I can’t give up control.” I tossed my bag to the side and gathered the chain in my hands. With a deep breath, I looked up at him and said, “Take control.”
Heat and want and carnal need burned in his
eyes.
His chest moved with shallow, heaving breaths as his stare pierced me to the floor.
“Jessica,” he murmured, his voice wary, “after what happened this morning—”
“Take control,” I said again, my tone almost pleading.
Fight my demons, I silently added.
His arms slowly fell to hang at his sides, his hands clenched in tight fists as he stared at me with a look so raw and animalistic my belly flooded with heat.
“And face me.”
Like a switch, everything was gone.
He was still. His eyes were cold.
“No.” The answer was sharp, slicing through the air between us like one of his blades.
“You won’t hurt me.”
Kieran looked at me like I was . . . well, like I was insane. “You’ve seen me,” he argued.
“You won’t hurt me,” I repeated. “You have too much control even when you think you don’t.”
“Sometimes I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t remember doing things. Grabbing things. Grabbing knives. No.”
“And you’ve never cut me.”
“I will hurt you,” he said roughly, his voice pained. “Jessica . . .” He raked his hands through his hair. “Did you forget what happened the first time? What happened this morning? And I was still me.”
“I remember everything with you. I’ve already thought through everything. I trust you.”
“You don’t know what you’re asking,” he said. “It will be there. It will come. I’ll hurt you, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop.”
“I trust you.”
“I can’t.” He shrugged helplessly. “I can’t take that risk with you.”
“You’re going to be afraid of what that thing inside you is capable of for the rest of your life if you don’t face him.” My throat tightened and I choked out, “I’m going to be forever wrecked by the demons in my head if I don’t face them. And I’m not facing them without you.”
Minutes passed in weighted, pressing silence as we watched each other.
I’d already spent every minute of last night thinking of what I wanted. What I needed.
What we both needed.
I already knew I could trust the man standing in front of me.
