AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“What about them?” Jagger asked hesitantly when I didn’t say anything else.
“This can’t just be over. Not that easily.” Removing one of my hands from Jagger’s, I pointed in the direction of the front door. “They obviously know my car since the vows were on them, and they know about you, where you live, and can get inside your place since the vows were here. Just because I blocked one of their ways of torturing me doesn’t mean it’ll just be over.”
“You might be right, but we can’t know that yet.”
“Where did you have the vows?” I looked around the loft at the dresser and desk. “We could see if something else is missing, or—”
“Grey,” he crooned, and cupped my cheek so I would look at him. “I already did all that. I had some cops come and fingerprint the vows and the box that the paper had been in. Nothing else was missing, nothing was out of place, and I don’t even know when they were taken. There was nothing but my fingerprints up here, in the closet, and on the box. And nothing on the vows except for mine, yours, and some unknown ones that they’re expecting to be Ben’s since he had smudged the ink with his finger, and it matched the rest of the prints they found.”
My mouth had slowly opened as he talked, and I knew I was looking at him like I didn’t even know who he was anymore. “So the cops now have the vows? You would just give them something like that? Something that means so much to me? Jagger! They probably ruined the vows!”
“No, I have the paper back because they couldn’t find anything on it, and the vows are fine, babe.”
“Why didn’t you just tell me? Why didn’t you tell me that you’d called them? You didn’t even say anything about giving the vows that were meant for me to the police. What if I didn’t want them to have that?” I looked around the room, shaking my head. “Were you ever going to tell me?” I asked on a humorless laugh. “For all I know, they could’ve found something, but you’re still not telling me.”
He laughed edgily, and I knew he was getting mad, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t believe he’d done all that without asking me first, or telling me after. “Are you—are you fucking kidding me? Of course I would’ve told you if there was something! Jesus, Grey. You’ve been miserable since the morn
ing you found the vows. Most of your days are bad days, and babe, that’s fine! It’s fine to be hurting. But I didn’t want you to get involved with the police when there was a chance they wouldn’t find anything.”
“You can’t protect me from everything, Jagger!”
He dropped my other hand and sat back, shock and pain covering his face.
“There are things in this world that you can’t control or keep me from!”
“You think I don’t know that?” he yelled back. “I’ve watched you disappear because of something I couldn’t protect you from! Why wouldn’t I try to protect you from the small bullshit when you have gone through so much more?” Getting off the bed, he took large steps toward the stairs, then turned around to look at me. His arms were hanging by his sides, palms up, his expression lost. “That’s what I want to do, Grey, that’s all I’ve ever wanted to do, to be there for you when shit gets bad, to take as much of it as I can away from you so you won’t have to deal with it. I have spent my life doing that because I love you, and I will spend the rest of it doing the exact same fucking thing. If you need to know something, I’ll tell you. You of all people should know that by now!”
I opened my mouth to say something—start apologizing, anything to erase that look from his face—but he kept talking.
“I’m sorry you’re mad, I’m sorry you feel like I kept something important from you. But you have no idea what I’m seeing when I look at you. You have no idea what I’ve watched happen to you since the vows ended up on your car!”
That startled me enough to make my mouth snap shut for a few moments. “I don’t—what are you seeing? I’m fine, I’ve been fine except for when it’s happened.”
Jagger laughed harshly, but he sounded defeated. “Grey . . . are you serious?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about!”
“I’m fucking losing you,” he whispered, the soft, anguished tone hitting me hard enough to make me lose my breath. “I’ll do whatever it takes to help you through your grieving for Ben and what’s happening now. But you are slowly pushing me away more and more each day.”
“I’ve never pushed you away.”
He smiled weakly and nodded his head. “No, you never did . . . until now. I’ve seen you five times in the last eleven days, including the day you found the vows and today. Today is the longest I’ve spent with you. There have been days when I come over and you won’t leave your room or look at me; there have been times when you told me you were coming over after work and you didn’t show and never called. I had to call your mom to make sure you were even safe.”
I stared at him blankly, my head shaking quickly. “No, I—I don’t think . . .” I trailed off, trying to remember other times we’d seen each other.
“This is a hard time for you, I know that. But it’s been killing me to watch you shut down and keep me out.”
When I couldn’t respond, he turned and slowly went down the stairs, and I just sat there listening to the echoes of his steps as he walked across the open space below. I didn’t move for long minutes as I thought about everything he’d said and tried to remember those days he’d been talking about. I couldn’t, but I knew he was right. Because what I did remember from the last week and a half was all the time I’d spent thinking about Ben.
After crawling across the bed and standing up, I walked across the loft and down the stairs. Before I could get to the hall leading to the back rooms, I saw my phone on one of the couches and walked over to pick it up. After tapping out a quick message to my mom about not coming home tonight, I turned the phone on silent and dropped it back onto the couch.
Jagger was leaning against a wall in the main hallway when I turned the corner, his forearms were pressed to the wall as his head hung down to his chest. His head snapped up when he heard me walking toward him, and he slowly straightened to face me. His face and eyes were guarded.
Without saying a word, I reached out to grab one of his hands and turned to walk back the way I’d come. I didn’t let go of his hand until we were next to the bed and didn’t say anything until we were both lying on it, facing each other.
“I don’t want to shut you out,” I whispered. “I’m sorry I’ve been hurting you, but you have to know I would never purposely hurt you. It would kill me to lose you, Jagger, and I swear to you that you aren’t losing me,” I choked out, my voice breaking.
Jagger ground his jaw and wrapped one arm around my waist to pull me closer. “Okay, Grey,” he murmured as he pressed his lips to my forehead.
