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“All right,” she said, smoothing down her dress. She pushed the door shut with one flick of her wrist. “Let’s get this over with.”
“I’m so glad to see we share the same sentiments over this.” I stopped just outside the door. “Oh, by the way, you have to take my arm. My mother will give birth to an elephant if she sees me being an ass.”
“Then you should call the zoo, because she’s about to birth a herd.”
I sighed. “Please?”
“Fine, but you owe me.”
“I don’t like the sound of that.”
“You’re not supposed to.” She flashed me the biggest playful grin I’d ever seen cross her face and took my arm. “Are your parents…like your sister and grandpa?”
Translation: were they as unfiltered as the members of my family she’d already met?
“Absolutely. You will love them. My mother will spend the entire evening chastising me and Pops while Dad laughs, Greta tells her to lighten up, and Roxy films the entire thing.”
“Sounds like a riot.”
“Wait ‘til the oldies get the whiskey out.”
“I’ve never seen any of the old people here drink whiskey.”
“Who doesn’t drink whiskey?” Aunt Greta asked from the bar.
Here we go.
Hell had officially opened its gates.
“Great Aunt Greta, this is Jamie. Jamie, this is my great aunt.” I introduced them.
Greta peered at her with narrowed eyes. “Jamie. You’re the one keeping him on his toes at work, aren’tcha?”
I really wished everyone would stop saying that. It wasn’t fucking true.
Jamie, however, beamed the way she did every time she heard it. “Yes, ma’am, that’s me.”
“Good. You keep that shit up.”
Jamie paused, shocked. “You got it.”
“Did you tell her it’s my birthday?” Aunt Greta looked at me.
“Yes, I did,” I ground out.
“But I’m afraid I’m empty handed, because I didn’t get much notice. But I’d love to buy you a drink to wish you happy birthday.” Jamie stepped next to her at the bar. “What would you like, ma’am?”
She was such a suck-up.
Greta looked at me with an ‘ooh’ expression. “I’ll take a shot of whiskey, dear, and you will, too.”
“Greta…”
“Two shots of whiskey, please,” Jamie said, putting a ten on the bar.
The bartender nodded, took the bill, and turned to pour shots.
What had I done?
“Hooooey,” Greta trilled when the shots were slid in front of them. “Are ya ready, Jamie? Let’s go! One, two, three!”
They both threw them back. Greta barely flinched, but Jamie scrunched her shoulders up to her ears and shuddered. I coughed to hide my laugh, especially when she turned and her face was all wrinkled up, too.
Greta grinned. “Few more of those and you won’t notice it, my girl.” She waved a finger for the bartender.
“Are Mom and Dad here yet?” I asked, grabbing Jamie’s wrist.
It was close enough to her hand…
“Not yet. But your sister is, and your grandfather is telling stories about the war to the boys at the poker table.”
“Awesome. We’ll see you back there.” I steered Jamie away from her before she could ply her with another shot before she’d eaten anything.
Jamie laughed. “Wow. She’s…something.”
“That’s the most accurate explanation of her I’ve ever heard,” I muttered. “And why the hell is there a poker table?”
“I was hoping you could answer that,” she said when I released her wrist.
I caught sight of Roxy waving from the far corner. “If only. There’s Roxy. Let’s go.” I nudged her back in that direction, and she started walking.
“Hey!” Roxy grinned and squeezed Jamie’s arm when she sat down.
Oh god, was she tipsy?
This was a mess.
“Have you been drinking already?” I asked, taking the seat opposite her and next to Jamie.
Roxy leaned forward. “Yes. Greta is peddling the shots.”
“I know.” Jamie screwed her face up.
My sister giggled. “She got you already, huh?”
“She offered to buy her a drink.” I leaned back and folded my arms. “Rookie error.”
“Shouldn’t you be buying your date a drink?” her eyes glittered as she said it.
“It’s not a date,” me and Jamie said together.
“Don’t make me tell Mom.”
I stood up and kicked my chair aside. “I hate you. Jamie? What would you like to drink?”
“Pinot Grigio is fine. I can give you the—”
“Please don’t give her ammunition to tattle on me. It’s been her favorite game for years. I’ll buy it.” I held up my hand and, shaking my head, left and returned to the bar.
A different area to where my aunt was. I did not need to get suckered into whiskey shots, mostly because I had to get Jamie home safely.
I ordered her wine and myself a Coke, paid, and took them to our table in the corner. I noticed that Roxy had cleverly picked a four-seater table to stop any of our family from joining us to eat.
She wasn’t always smart, but when she was…
“Here.” I put the wine in front of Jamie and sat back down.
Roxy looked at me. “You didn’t buy your sister a drink?”
