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I slid my arms up his body, wrapping them around his neck, moving onto my tiptoes to meet him properly. I fell back against the wall, but Jay came with me, never breaking the connection between us. His hands moved, one cupping the back of my neck and the other going to my waist, his fingers digging into my skin as my shirt rode up.
Tingles danced across my skin at the touch, and I whimpered into his mouth as his teeth grazed my lower lip. My clit ached, and my nipples were hard inside my bra as lust took me over.
At this point, I didn’t care what happened. Not as long as he just didn’t stop. I didn’t want him to stop because I’d never wanted anything this much in my life.
I was so in trouble.
I’d never imagined that my best friend would be the one who’d have the power to break me.
As if he’d just had the same thought, Jay slowly pulled back, his lips resting at the corner of mine. “Shelby—”
“I know.” I dipped my head so his lips dragged across my cheek, leaving heat in their wake. His jaw brushed mine, the stubble making me shiver as it rubbed my skin. “This is a bad idea,” I said softly.
He stiffened. “Yeah. You’re right. It is.”
Neither of us moved. My fingers stayed where they were, now wrapped up in the soft cotton of his t-shirt, and he didn’t move his from my neck or my hip.
I shuddered out a breath. Jay rested his chin on top of my head when I sank down from being on my tiptoes. I pressed my face against his chest, taking a deep breath.
This was going wrong. So very wrong.
My eyes stung, and I extracted myself from his arms before he could see me cry. Everything I’d felt for long knotted into a ball in my chest, making it feel tight, and I managed to keep it compressed until I’d shut the bathroom door behind me and slid the lock across.
Running away right now wasn’t the answer, I knew that, but staying there in his arms wasn’t exactly a solution.
I needed to process what had just happened. I had to work through the knowledge that Jay had wanted to kiss me. That he didn’t care that I’d kissed him. That I’d basically goaded him into kissing, only for him to give me a kiss that wouldn’t be out of place in a movie about two idiot best friends who had feelings for each other.
Was that what this was? Two idiot best friends with feelings for each other instead of just one?
Or was it one who was thinking with her heart and another thinking with his dick?
Whatever it was, whatever was happening, was too much for me.
The tight ball of emotion in my chest gave way, exploding into silent tears that escaped my eyes and trailed down my cheeks. I buried my face in my hands and slid down the bathroom door until I was on the floor, back against the door, face in my hands, legs up to my chest.
And I cried, silently. I let out all the worry and fear and frustration I’d felt today. I let go of the stress of keeping how I felt to myself, of all the denial I’d put myself through the past couple of weeks.
I let go of the jealousy that’d stabbed me when he said he’d been on a date, of the jealousy for Brie and Sean who hadn’t gone through any of this when they’d fallen in love with their best friend.
Mostly, I let go of the lies I’d been telling myself.
As the front door slammed shut somewhere behind me, I hugged my knees and really cried it all out, because now, the fear of the future was very, very real.
All the things Jay had told me when he’d moved in came flooding back. He’d told me it would only be three months. That I had to let him stay. That it would be fun, that we’d have the best time living together.
Not once had he ever told me that I’d fall for him.
And that was the problem.
That hurt more than anything else that could ever happen.
By falling for my best friend, I may have lost him.
And I didn’t quite know what to do about that.
• • •
I woke the next morning after Jay had left. He’d left a note on the fridge that he• • •’d gone to work and he’d stop by the store on the way home to get something for dinner and that I should text him if I had any ideas.
Instead of that, I packed up my laptop and notepads and hightailed it over to Brie’s. It was still early and not so hot in the day that I’d be a hot, sweaty mess when I made it to her apartment, so I walked.
