I tuck my dick back into my pants and leave. I can’t stay in the house with her talking about divorce so calmly—not when the very idea tears at me like a vulture’s talons.
I drive aimlessly until I reach the beach. Moving on autopilot, I climb out of my car and sit on the damp sand. The waves pound into the ground, and the horizon is invisible in the blackness. I stick my fingers into my hair and clench hard.
What the hell just happened?How did things go so wrong? Weren’t wehappy? Is she still upset about what I said about marriage?
I’ve never been caught this off guard before. Not since Mom kidnapped me.
If Lareina asked me if I meant what I said, my answer would be yes. At the time, I meant every word. I couldn’t even bear it when my girlfriends wrapped their arms around me and clung. I always thought I wanted a dignified, respectful marriage, like what my father has with Akiko. No crazy drama.
But if Lareina asked me how I feelnow, I’d say I can’t imagine life without her. Her strength, her bright personality, her decisiveness and daring—they all attract me in ways I’ve never felt before.
Why did she spend all that time and effort trying to make a nice dinner and celebrate my promotion just to ask for a divorce?
My thoughts spin in circles. God, I feel sostupid! How can I not figure this out? Lareina’s serious about divorcing me.
As I inhale more of the salty air, the gears in my head finally start to turn. My wife isn’t a fickle woman. She’s not cruel, or prone to cutting people out for no reason. Because there are so few people close to her, she cherishes every friend she has. She must know that if she divorces me, she could lose my family, too.
Other than the idiotic things I’ve said, what’s the problem? Something else that told her this was the right moment to bring up divorce—
The answer hits me in the face with sudden force. My promotion!
We both got what we wanted. I have my money—and safety—and you have your promotion.
I jump to my feet. She already had her money, but she waited until now because she wanted to make sure I got my junior partnership. And all this time I thought she stayed because…
I exhale harshly. Logic says I should take the promotion. I deserve it. I worked hard for it, practically slaved for it at times.
But…
I picture myself as a junior partner. I’ll be in a bigger office. Maybe with more hours from admin support. More money. More clients. More cases. But I’ll go home to an empty house, an empty bed and an empty life. No more getting up in the morning and making sure my wife has something she can eat. No more tasting her food and watching her smile like I’m responsible for the sunrise. The moment she told me how beautiful my eyes were, how they were nothing like my mother’s, plays in my head like a movie I can never forget.
My heart feels like it’s beating wrong. I clutch my chest in pain. I can’t picture my future without Lareina in it now. But Icanpicture myself living perfectly well without the junior partnership. Logic says I should argue my case and have both the partnershipandLareina, but her expression was too resolute when she asked for the divorce. She won’t change her mind. Not unless she learns I didn’t get what I was supposed to out of our marriage deal.
I pull out my phone and start texting.
–Me: I decline the promotion.
It takes less than a minute before I get a call. It’s Dad. The moment I answer, he booms, “What the hell was that?”
“I told you. I don’t want the promotion.”
“Did Harvey drug you again? Or is it your mother this time?”
“Neither. I’m perfectlycompos mentisand don’t want it.”
“But why? You worked so hard for it. You threatened to go to another firm if you didn’t get it. You even gotmarried!” The final statement is a loud shout. He’s probably about to have a stroke. Thankfully, high blood pressure doesn’t run in the family.
“Yes, and that’s why,” I say. “My wife thinks I got what I wanted out of our marriage, and now she intends to divorce me.”
“I told you to be nice to her.” I can hear Akiko practically moan the words next to Dad.Great. He put me on speaker.
“So let me get this straight. In order to keep your wife, you’re going to give up the promotion? Do you know how that makes us look? Jesus, the next time you want to get promoted—forget it! In fact, there won’tbea next time. You’re done at the firm!”
“I don’t care.”
“You won’t even be able to go to another firm. What are you going to tell them if they ask you why you didn’t become a junior partner even though it was offered to you?”
“The truth.”
